Layupfreak
Smash Ace
~Ninendo Land Source~
Descriptions
King Bowser Koopa
He's been boiled in hot lava and fallen down almost bottomless pits, but does he give up? nNo, cause he's the baddest Koopa who's ever lived and he's not going to be beaten by some reptile look a like. With his spikes and his fiery breath he'll rock K. Rool's world
King K. Rool
The king of the Kremlings. This crocodile king one time stole Donkey Kong's bananas from his banana hoard, but he failed to keep Donkey from taking them back. Who knows what this croc king will do next. Among his attacks are his trusty cannon which he can use to shoot cannonballs and his crown which he can use as a deadly boomerang.
Descriptions
King Bowser Koopa
He's been boiled in hot lava and fallen down almost bottomless pits, but does he give up? nNo, cause he's the baddest Koopa who's ever lived and he's not going to be beaten by some reptile look a like. With his spikes and his fiery breath he'll rock K. Rool's world
King K. Rool
The king of the Kremlings. This crocodile king one time stole Donkey Kong's bananas from his banana hoard, but he failed to keep Donkey from taking them back. Who knows what this croc king will do next. Among his attacks are his trusty cannon which he can use to shoot cannonballs and his crown which he can use as a deadly boomerang.
Let The Fights Begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
Announcer: Welcome all Nintendo characters! I would just like to let you all know that to keep both hands and feet inside your seat for your safety. This rule is particularly in effect for this Deathmatch. And now, with out further ado, let me introduce the commentators Mario and Luigi!
Mario: It's a-me, M-…
Luigi: Please, not again…
Mario: Fine, suit yourself. Anyway, we've got a huge Deathmatch tonight!
Luigi: Yea, it is between King Bowser Koopa and King K. Rool.
Mario: I'm betting on K. Rool. I really hope Bowser loses.
Mario shows a new shirt that says, "K. Rool Rools!"
Luigi: I think it's time to announce our special guest commentator, Donkey Kong!
DK enters the announcer booth and waves to the crowd while the DK rap song plays.
Luigi: DK, who do you think will win?
DK: (translation) Me thinks Bowser win. He kick some reptile butt!
Mario: It is now time to introduce our competitors.
Bowser enters the stadium proudly.
Mario: Our first loser, Bowser, is king of the Koopas. He plans on winning but I doubt it.
Soon after, K. Rool enters the stadium surrounded by Kremlings.
Luigi: Here comes King K. Rool, king of Kremlings. He seems to be favored by his great size. (or at least what Mario says)
Bowser: Are you ready to lose?
K. Rool: Only if you are. Come on, let's get started!
DK rings the bell with his head.
Bowser starts by attempting to jump on top of K. Rool but does not succeed.
K. Rool: Hah, you'll need to do better than that.
Bowser, with much frustration, swings his tail into K. Rool.
Bowser: I've only started…
Luigi: Wow, this is already a great match, agree?
DK: Yea, Bowser do well.
Mario: Not as good as K. Rool!
DK: Do you want to take this outside?
Luigi: Guys, come on, there is always next week…
Meanwhile, the Kremlings cheer K. Rool on as he, much like Bowser, swings his tail except the impact is much harder.
Bowser: Owww….
K. Rool: See, you're only wasting your time.
K. Rool turns around to the crowd and cheers.
Bowser: You'll pay for that…
To much surprise, Bowser starts to grab K. Rool by the tail and swings him around like Mario.
Luigi: Hey, he's stealing you're trademark move!
Mario: Yea, that's mine!!
After that, Bowser lets go and K. Rool lands in the corner.
Bowser: Now, for the finisher…
DK: Wow, Bowser is scorching K. Rool with his fiery breath!!!
Bowser: Hooray, I win again!!!!!
Luigi: Well, It seems in a upset victory, Bowser wins and K. Rool loses.
Mario: And I lose money.
This summary was written to you by Mark.
NintendoLand Deathmatch summary #2/4
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
Mario: Hello everybody, hello. Me and Luigi will present you two cheap men that I wish that they'll faint together and will not look at us anymore.
Tonight, we bring a mean crocodile who thinks that he's the real King and here is the DK's rival King K. Rool!
Luigi: And player two, the king of all baddies here is King Bowser Koopa.
King Bowser Koopa: Yo Men, don't talk to me like that anymore. Do I need to repeat that Luigi the idiot. Hein? I can't hear you, there.
King Bowser Koopa: I'm not a fool like you are!
Mario: Stop it, both of you!
King K. Rool comes inside the ring with some poison juice and spits it on all of them and then, he laughs.
King K. Rool: Ha! Ha! Ha! Suckers:
Mario: You call me a sucker well look at you fish breath.
King Bowser Koopa: Don't you dare call him a fish breath, he's my friend, loser. WELL, HE WAS!!!
Luigi: I thought you were here to fight and look at what you're doing right in the ring.
The Fight starts, now.
King K. Rool: Yo pipsqueak! Come here if you're not a chicken.
King Bowser Koopa takes King K. Rool from the tail and turns around and then throws him out the ring.
King K. Rool: Why? But why?
King K. Rool jumps on top of the ring and so then, he squashes King Bowser Koopa. King Bowser Koopa runs after King K. Rool but he couldn't of take him anymore because he was bigger than ever seen.
King K. Rool: Well, well, well. I think that I'll defeat you.
King Bowser Koopa: You're right, sir.
King K. Rool: If you dare call me again sir, I'll make you taste my fist.
King Bowser Koopa goes outside the ring and then Luigi said if he was 5 seconds outside the ring, King K. Rool wins but of course, he came back in the ring with his super punch.
King K. Rool falls down but it wasn't finished because when King Bowser Koopa was right next to King K. Rool that fell, he kicked on King Bowser Koopa's ****.
King Bowser Koopa steals Mario's metal cap and he becomes Metal Bowser.
Mario: That's it, last time, Wario stole it and now it's you, you little pig.
King Bowser Koopa: You call me a pig, look at your blubbered stomach.
The audience start saying: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Mario looks at them and says: Shut up or else I'll burst your faces.
King Bowser Koopa: Of what? Is it of fruit or something like that! Bwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Mario silently grabs King Bowser Koopa from the back and knocks him out!
King K. Rool: Come on, I want to see King Bowser Koopa's stars from me, not from you.
Mario: What's the big difference?
King K. Rool: The big difference is that mine are cool and yours are dumb. You sit with you're fat *** on the chair, and mine of course is not fat.
Mario: Well how do I need to sit? With my head of what?
King K. Rool: Yeah, with your head.
Luigi's snoring in the audience while Mario screaming after King K. Rool.
Wario comes inside and starts laughing.
Wario: So, who's winning?
No one answers.
Wario: Hello, who's winning?
King Bowser Koopa: I am.
King K. Rool: Thats why you're blacked out on the face, stupid. Look at him, Wario, look if you're not blind!
Wario: I see, so your winning, bravo the King.
King K. Rool: Shut up, or else I'll laugh at you.
King Bowser Koopa wakes up all madly!
He punches King K. Rool like hell and then, see King Bowser Koopa's perfect punches to King K. Rool. King K. Rool does fire blast on King Bowser Koopa. King Bowser Koopa thinks of his moves while King K. Rool becomes severely mad and throws rocks on King Bowser Koopa until King Bowser Koopa gets up and makes him feel his grits.
King Bowser Koopa: Let's do better than we can and then will see the champ.
Mario: I bet you two that you are all going to be disqualified.
King Bowser Koopa turns on Mario and so King K. Rool receives a chair from Luigi and then slams it hard on King Bowser Koopa.
King K. Rool: Thanks!
Mario: Finally he woke up.
Luigi: Dingo, Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
King Bowser Koopa tries to do better but I'm afraid that he can't do better.
As he charges himself, King K. Rool gets his beatings of his life until Wario steel a table and slams it another time to King Bowser Koopa.
Mario: Poor old King Bowser Koopa. He can't take it anymore.
Wario: I'm thinking so.
Mario: I did not ask you that question.
Wario: Oh! The fragile man.
Mario: Shut up, the little Grinch!
King Bowser Koopa: Come on, shut up or else i`ll fry your brains, fat *****!
Mario: Okay, man!
King K. Rool hits King Bowser Koopa with a metal bat and then King Bowser Koopa gets up with a blue shell and it follows King K. Rool all around and hits him so hard that King K. Rool becomes red and then, King K. Rool maddly hurts King Bowser Koopa by throwing him on a table and brakes in little pieces. King Bowser Koopa jumps on King K. Rool and kicks his butt.
Waluigi: Yo Mario, the loser with full of sugar in his stomach that always thinks that he`s the man.
Mario comes up to the audience and gives a big blow to Waluigi but it wasn`t affective cause of his electricity that he did on Mario.
Mario: Electricity, I didn`t know you had that.
Waluigi: Well, I do have electricity. Wario comes up and throws Mario in the ring.
Wario: Shut up! Because last time that we were here, you cheated, now show them how weak you are.
Wario: …cause you cheated!
Mario: I did not!
Wario: I know why? Cause I left you a chance, little baby.
Mario: Do you want to act like an idiot up there or do you want to watch them fight?
Wario took his seat with a red face. Toad comes with a mushroom gun and starts shooting Wario until King Bowser Koopa comes and does a fire blast on Toad, stars were on top of Toad's head.
Toad: Waaaaaaaaaaa!
Mario turns around and sees Wario's face right in front of him.
Wario: Take this, fish breath. PAM! POW! BOUM! WAAABOUM!
Wario: This is for last time! BOUMMMMMMMMMM!
Stars came on top of Mario's head.
Mario: Take this, Wariooooooooo!!! Wario punched him while he was talking to him.
Mario: Wariooooooooooooo! Come here, I said!
Wario: Never!!!
Wario was talking to his brother, Waluigi, silently.
Mario: Who are you taking to?
Wario: None of your bisewacks!
Mario flies and when he was on the top of the DeathMatch Stadium, and then squashes Wario.
Wario: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Mario: I`ve had it with you, I`ve really had it with you!
Wario: Mario, since you did me that, King Bowser Koopa`s gonna give me my bull hat.
King Bowser Koopa: Take it, Wario.
Wario: It`s time to see you with a big black bruise on your face.Wario puts his head down and runs but misses his shot but he re-did it so it affected Mario and Mario faints. Mario starts bleeding so then, Peach comes and she made him in Metal, Metal Mario.
Mario: Here I come. PAMMMMM!
Wario: Uh! That hurts that I forgot to say Ouch that hurts!
Wario: My brother will make you be normal and I`m gonna become in real metal and I will have electricity, that meens your going to cry like a baby! Wa!ha!ha!ha!ha!
Wario electrocutes Mario and then the audience were mad because they wanted to watch a match but they were fighting. Mario told them that he's sorry about stopping this match.
Referee: Stop it, Mario.
Wario electrocutes the referee so he could make Mario feel his guts. Wario smashes Mario on the floor and starts kicking and throwing himself on him and then, Wario misses his shot and ends up on the floor with Luigi's super kick.
Luigi: Stop kicking my big brother, you fat pig.
Waluigi: Shut up, cause you're worst than him, you little monkey with a hat on, the day that you were born, I wanted your name to be Fanny Halitosis and that means that you're an *** and a dog breath! Wa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Yoshi: Waluigi, had you ever known that you were a stupid jerk?
Waluigi: Yes, but, you are 255 times worst than me.
Waluigi: Go Bro! Go Bro! Kick his candy ***.
Big Bom-Omb has come to destroy Luigi's mouth!
Big Bom-Omb: Open big, Luigi.
Luigi punches him non-stop and then, Big Bom-Omb runs away.
Wario: Mario take this big blow!!! KING K. ROOLOOOUUUUUMMMMMMMM!
Mario: Mamamiaaaaaaaaaa!
King K. Rool: I`ve had enough with all of you stupid jerks.
King Bowser Koopa: I`ve had it too!
King Bowser Koopa hits King K. Rool and then King K. Rool screams on his ear, loud.
King K. Rool: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I can`t believe it!
King Bowser Koopa: Ha! Ha! Sucker!
King K. Rool: You're dead-o-meato, man! But man that hurted me.
Luigi finally wakes up and says that it's a too long this match but they don't listen to him.
King Bowser Koopa: Come on, sissy. Give me a big blow if your not scared.
King K. Rool: Okay, i`ll do it for ya.
King K. Rool does it and so, King Bowser Koopa falls on the ground.
King Bowser Koopa gets up fast so he won`t lose and King K. Rool jumps so high and squashes King Bowser Koopa and so Waluigi goes and take someones belt in the audience and goes into the ring and hits King K. Rool with it so then King K. Rool turned around and saw his face and felt to make him bleed like hell but King Bowser Koopa comes behind and slashes him with fire and King K. Rool becomes bigger and bigger and he touches the sealing and then, he jumps super high and does a super duper simian slam on King Bowser Koopa and then King Bowser Koopa puts fire on King K. Rool and then, King K. Rool becomes King K. Rool that he will be much stronger. King K. Rool hits King Bowser Koopa and King Bowser Koopa flies and lands in the audience but King Bowser Koopa jumped high to get back in the ring and King K. Rool takes his knee that King Bowser Koopa lands on it.
King Bowser Koopa: Awwwwwwwwww! Awwwwwwwwwwww!
Baby Bowser: I`m now gonna be the referee and lets see more action this time.
King K. Rool hits Baby King Bowser Koopa out of the ring and by the way he stole all King K. Rool coins and then King K. Rool that had these precious coins gets out of the ring and goes after Baby King Bowser Koopa.
Baby Bowser: I'm so gentle and you are even for these goody good coins. I'm so nice, Heh! Heh! Heh!
King K. Rool takes a big hammer and puts the lights of the stadium off. He goes first after Waluigi and squashes him and then Baby Bowser and then Mario and Luigi and then King Bowser Koopa and takes his coins back.
Wario: You forgot me, you big baboon.
King K. Rool takes another suit right on top of his other suit and becomes even stronger and he's named Sgr. King K. Rool and Wario faints when he sees him.
King K. Rool comes back to normal and takes Mario`s metal cap and becomes Metal King K. Rool and then King Bowser Koopa comes in the ring and took a poison that melts the metal down and it happened so King Bowser Koopa is really mad as he hits King K. Rool and King K. Rool gets smaller and smaller and smaller until he becomes normal. King K. Rool remakes himself into King K. Rool but red cause he's mad this time.
Luigi: Is it ever gonna finish this stupid match. Look at them these two little brats.
King Bowser Koopa: Shut up! You monkey dork.
King K. Rool: Shut the hell up, fish breaths.
King Bowser Koopa: Hey, did I talk to ya right now?
King K. Rool: Okay Mr. Fragile.
King Bowser Koopa: Don't call me that anymore.
King K. Rool: Okay you King's ***.
King Bowser Koopa: Ah! Shut up! You dumb asswole.
They started fighting together (by talking) and then Luigi sighed to go to sleep.
Mario: Well, well, well, I saw that King K. Rool hit me and my brother Luigi with a stupid hammer and for that you could be disqualified but I ordered you to continue and King Bowser Koopa will give you a big blow with that hammer cause of that.
King K. Rool gets hit as he bundles around and then bundles on King Bowser Koopa.
King Bowser Koopa: Yiawwwwwwouchhhh!
King K. Rool is after King Bowser Koopa to make him feel his fist on his face.
King K. Rool: Come over here you little chicken.
King Bowser Koopa: I`m not chicken like you, pipsquake.
King K. Rool: Mind your own bisewacks, fat ***.
As King Bowser Koopa hits King K. Rool, non-stop, he burned King K. Rool with his fire. And then, King Bowser Koopa won.
Mario: Luigi! Luigi! It ended.
Luigi (sigh): Oh, finally and who won?
Mario: it was King Bowser Koopa that won.
Conker: Hello, everybody!
Mario and Luigi: Bye, Conker.
Conker: What? It ended, I thought it just started. Those mother****in' asswoles. It was written a 10:00 PM.
Luigi: But us, it was written at 7:00 PM.
Mario: Conker, it's written to come in at 7:00 PM and to leave at 10:00 PM.
Conker: So then, who won?
King Bowser Koopa: Me, the best.
Conker: Alright, bye!
Luigi: Bye!
They all left!!!
The End!!!
This summary was written to you by King K. Rool Jr..
NintendoLand Deathmatch summary #3/4
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
The crowd cheers as Mario and Luigi walk up to their box seat. Throughout the crowd are tons of video game villains. Ganondrof sits next to Agnahim, eating some ‘Poke-popcorn’. Mizar and Grunitlda drink some ‘Conker Cappachinos’. Other N64 villains are scattered around the arena, ready for the battle all have been waiting for.
Mario: Hello! Welcome to tonight’s-a Nintendoland Battle!
Luigi: Tonight we have two of Nintendo’s greatest foes.
Mario: Yes! As you can see, almost 75% of the crowd are villains and friends of the fighters.
Luigi: That is correct, bro. In fact, I heard that the Koopas and Kremlings are holding a bet on who will
win.
Mario: Bowser will definitely win. All Mario character’s have a knack for fighting.
Luigi: Don’t be so sure, Mario. Remember the you vs. Dk battle?
Mario: Well, um…
Luigi: Forget about it. Anyways, lets get to the battle.
Mario: In the right corner, nemesis of the Mushroom Kingdom, kidnapper of the Princess Peach……King Bowser Koopa!
Bowser jumps into the ring. Behind him are his eight children carrying a sign reading: BOWSER. The Koopa King breathes fire as the lights dim.
Luigi: In the left corner stands the reptilian archrival of Donkey Kong. Ladies and gentlemen….King
K. Rool!
K. Rool drops from the rafters in his boxing shorts and gloves from DK64. Several Kremlings cheer behind
him.
K. Rool: You wanna’ mess, Bowser?
Bowser: Try m e, K. Rool.
Mario: Let the match begin!
Bowser jumps into action by breathing several fireballs at K. Rool. The reptilian monarch dodged
them and began crating shockwaves. Bowser tripped on one, and fell to the ground. K. Rool laughed and
jumped on his opponent. K. Rool’s large weight crushed Bowser. K. Rool then jumped off as Bowser began to get up. The king then upper-cutted Bowser. The Koopa King landed face first on the ground and groaned in pain.
Mario: Mama-Mia! Bowser is-a losing!
K. Rool: You better believe it, Lardio!
Mario: I wouldn’t be talking…
K. Rool: Well, lets see if you Mushroom folk like this move…
K. Rool walked over to Bowser and picked him up.
Bowser: Waah! Waddya’ doing?
K. Rool: Time for a little ride, buddy.
K. Rool then threw Bowser into a nearby wall.
Kremlings cheered as several Koopa’s bit their tongues. Bowser slowly got up and decided to get even.
He jumped into his shell and began rolling toward K. Rool.
K. Rool: Ooooo, now the loser’s gonna’ roll me over!
Bowser got faster and faster and then pointed his spikes at K. Rool. The reptile king’s stomach was
pierced badly and he was knocked a few yards back. Bowser slid again toward K. Rool and did the same
attack. After another shot Bowser got out.
Bowser: So who’s the loser now?
K. Rool: Don’t be so sure, Bowser! I got more tricks up my sleeve…
K. Rool then took off his crown.
Bowser: Oh, I’m sooo scared! It’s that silly Donkey Kong move.
K. Rool: Yeah, but I enhanced my crown a little bit.
Bowser: How so?
K. Rool threw the crown at Bowser while saying:
K. Rool: Let’s just say that I added some homing components to it.
Bowser ran from the crown, but it kept coming toward him. Soon he was hit. But, the small crown almost
unaffected him.
Bowser: Oh, what a harmful weapon you got there K.
Fool. Maybe this move will inspire you.
Bowser then took out a Bom-omb and threw it at K.
Rool. The blast hit him
K. Rool: *Cough-Cough* Is that the best you can do?
Bowser: Actually, no.
Bowser then threw several hammers at K. Rool.
K. Rool: Well, two can play this game. Hi-yah!
K. Rool jumped on the floor, and 10 cannon balls
fell from the rafters. Bowser tried to avoid them, but the was hit several times. He threw more hammers at K.
Rool, and then shot a few fireballs.
K. Rool: Yahhhh! My tail’s on fire! My tail’s on fire!
A few Kremlings blow it out.
K. Rool(whispering): Lets move into plan B.
Kremling: Heh heh, you got it boss!
Bowser then threw another Bom-omb at K. Rool, which exploded in his face.
K. Rool: Now, boys!
Mario: Hmmm, the two are fighting pretty furiously, I wonder what’s going to happ--
Luigi: Wait a second, some Kremlings are entering the ring!
A dozen or so Kremlings jumped into the arena and began biting Bowser.
Bowser: Hey! Get off me! This is illegal!
Mario: Security!
A few Saturns run in, but are toppled over by a hoard of Koopas who are being led by Kamek, the
magi-koopa.
Kamek: We cannot let these stupid reptiles stop Bowser! Get them!
The Kremlings saw the Koopas and called in some more of their comrades. In front of them was Krusha, who was carrying a large club.
Krusha: We cannot let these turtle enemies stop our men and leader!
Kremling in the crowd: Why don’t we send the Klap Traps after them?
Krusha: Good idea!
Krusha then opened up a box holding ten Klap-Traps.
The small creatures ran up to the Koopa’s and began eating them.
Kamek: We cannot allow those Krem-whateveryoucallems get us! Where are those Goombas?
Goomba: Right here, boss!
Kamek: What are you waiting for, help master Bowser!
The Goombas begin jumping on the Klap-Traps heads, killing them instantly. After all were dead, The
Goobas ran back to their seats, anxious to see the ending.
Mario: Oy, these dummies are ruining the battle.
Luigi: How can we-a stop them?
???: Hey Mario!
Mario: Mamma-Mia! It’s the DK Krew!
Donkey Kong: Yep, sorry we’re late for the match. Chunky was practicing his triangle for his recital
next week. When we got here, we saw all these Kremlings and Koopas in our seats. We came up here to
ask you guys were to get some new ones.
Diddy: Yeah, we need seven.
Luigi: But aren’t there five of you?
Diddy: Yes, but Chunky takes up three seats.
Chunky: Do you intend to see another day, Diddy Kong?
Diddy: Heh heh. Five seats please.
Mario: We’ll give you seats, but first could you give
us a hand with that mob?
DK: Sure! We haven’t battled Kremlings for about two
years.
Mario: Fan-a-tastic! Thanks you guys!
DK: Sure! Lets get kick some Kremling butt!
The DK Krew jumped into the ring and began pounding Kremlings and Koopas.
K. Rool: Hey! Lardio! Why are those Dopey Kongs in our battle?
Mario: Because your stupid comrades are mobbing the game!
K. Rool: We want them here, and we’re going to continue our battle!
Bowser: Yeah! These guys are kinda like, uh, obstacles!
K. Rool: Yeah, what he said! Now lets fight, Koopa boy!
K. Rool avoided the Koopas knawing at him and shot some cannons at Bowser. The Koopa King picked up two Kremlings and then threw them at K. Rool while avoiding the shot. K. Rool then took out a small gun.
Bowser: What’s that?!?
K. Rool: I call it Blast-O-Matic Jr. It’s a smaller version of my destruction machine from DK64!
Bowser: What the?!?
K. Rool then shot at Bowser, but missed horribly.
The shot destroyed several Kremlings, Koopa’s, and knocked down one of the arena walls.
Mario: Whoa! That’s-a one spicy meatball! How you doin’ there DK?
DK: Not so good. Tiny and Lanky were hit by that Blast-O-Matic Jr., and are nearly unconscious. Diddy was talking with Link, saying that the Hyrulian hero couldn’t hurt a cucco, and is currently being sent to a hospital. And Chunky left for the snack bar.
K. Rool then shot at DK, who was also KO’d.
Mario: Some much for those guy’s help.
K. Rool: Now that Dopey Kong’s out, its time for you
Bowser!
K. Rool shot at Bowser and once again missed. The shot cleared out tons of Kremlings and Koopas, but
also knocked down a whole other wall. Several people in the audience had fled the arena while the others
are hiding under the stands. K. Rool shot again and again, killing more and more Kremlings and Koopas, but not hitting Bowser.
K. Rool: What’s wrong with this thing?!?
Bowser: Perhaps you’re just stupid, but my ally Kamek is steering them away from me magically.
K. Rool: And now you just happened to tell me?
Bowser: Well, uh, oops.
K. Rool rolled his eyes and shot at Kamek. The magi-koopa was blown away and K. Rool now got ready to destroy Bowser.
K. Rool: Say your prayers, Bowser!
K. Rool shot the Blast-O-Matic Jr. at Bowser. The shot got closer and closer when all of a sudden Chunky
walked in front of Bowser.
Chunky: Hey Boso, I mean Bowser, if you see DK, tell him they’re selling those Mushroom Mochas you like. And they’re cheap too. Also I --,”
Before Chunky could finish, he was hit by the Blast-O-Matic Jr. The Kong fell to the ground and Bowser quickly picked him up.
Bowser: Take this, K. Drool!
Bowser threw Chunky at K. Rool and knocked the reptilian monarch out. Krusha ran over to his fallen
master.
Krusha: Oh no! K. Rool has been defeated by that big ugly Kong AGAIN! The Koopas have won!
The last ten or twelve Koopas alive walk toward Krusha.
Koopa: Well?
Krusha: All right, all right. Here you go.
Koopa: Ha ha! Yes, we won the bet! Ya’ like that,Kremlings!
Mario: What did those rascals win?
Luigi: Some sort of game, but what?
Bowser: Hey, isn’t that Super Smash Bros. Melee? Wheredid you get it?
Krusha: *Rolling his eyes* Well…uh…
MEANWHILE, IN JAPAN AT NINTENDO HEADQUARTERS…
Shiguru Miyamato(translated from Japanese): <Hey? Where is that SSB 2 game I had?>
HAL Laboratories Guy: <I don’t know. Some guy took it last night while I was working.>
SM: <That’s odd.>
HAL Laboratories Guy: <Yeah. He said that he needed it for a deal he had at some ‘Nintendoland deathmatch’.>
SM: <Very odd…>
This summary has been written by Jason Bitterman.
NintendoLand Deathmatch summary #4/4
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
A large crowd is gathering at the mushroom kingdom tonight. Anyone who is anyone in the world of Nintendo is there. From the world famous links (All three of them), to the lowly koopa troopers, dressed in their finest coloured shells, down to those people so obscure, most people probably won't even remember them
Axle gear: Hay, I'm not obscure! ONE DAY I WILL RULE THE WORLD!
Koopa trooper: shut up.
Axle gear: sorry.
Yes, they are all here, and there here for one reason; to see two fighters beat the stuffing out of each other.
As everyone takes their seats in the Nintendo deathmatch stadium, an expectant hush falls over the crowd, broken only by the slight rustling of a para goombas wings. Suddenly, the stadium erupts in lights and music, as explosions accompany fireworks into the sky, creating a perfect N cube. The masses cheer deliriously as high above the crowds, the cube disperses and two familiar figures step into the commentating booth
Mario: It's-a-me, Mario!
Crowd: Yaaay!
Luigi: Yeah, yeah. I'm here too
Crowd: Yaaay!
Mario: Well, folks. We had an explosive match last week, and tonight, is going to be one heck of a fight.
Luigi: Yep. That's right, you tell them, M.
Mario: Yes tonight, we are proud to present the fight between....
At this point, Mario realises, to his dismay, that in the rush of the week, Him and the committee forgot to pick a deathmatch
Mario (To Luigi): L. We have a problem. We haven't organised a deathmatch for this week!
Luigi: Oh man! How'd this happen! Who's turn was it on the rota?
He looks down at the schedule
Luigi: Lets see. Week one, Luigi. Week two, N-dimension dude. Week three, mari.... MARIO!!
Mario: oops. I thought I was on week six!
Down below the crowd is becoming restless.
Luigi: well, that's just great, you dipstick! Now what are we gonna do?
Mario: errrrr.... Stall?
Luigi: Oh boy....
Mario (to crowds): Well, folks. Today it looks like the deathmatch will have to be postponed....
Crowd: Boooo!
Suddenly a figure jumps out of the crowd down to the stage
Browser: No way! I paid good money to see someone get knocked into the middle of next week! As the king of Lizards, I demand a fight!
Now, another figure jumps down into the ring
K.Rool: No! As The king of Lizards, I decree that a deathmatch occur tonight!
Browser: No way! I'm the king of lizards
K.Rool: I am!
Browser: No, me!
K.Rool: Me!
Browser: Me!
K.Rool: ME!
Browser: ME!
Luigi (To Mario): Hay, Mario, maybe we can kill two birds with one stone (To the battling kings): People! Let us settle this in a calm, mature, adult manor.
K.Rool: You mean sit around a table and discuss it?
Luigi: No. I mean knock seven bells out of each other, and provide us with a deathmatch.
Browser: Works for me.
K.Rool. Me too.
Luigi: Okay then Gentlemen, Go get ready.
The two lizard kings go off to the changing rooms to get ready.
Luigi: Phew. That was close. Mario, You EVER do that again, and we will use the backup plan.
Mario: What? You mean the one where I dress up as peach and....
Luigi: Yep. Now, start the intros. The fighters are ready!
Mario: Okay then LET'S GET IT ON!
Crowd: Yaaay!
Luigi: Player One is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Countless times he has tried to overthrow our beloved mushroom kingdom, and would probably have succeeded if it (Ah-hem) weren't for two fantastically good-looking plumbers. Ladies and gentlemen, The only person to pass princess kidnapping class with full marks, King Browser koopa!
crowd: Yaaay!
The koopas and goombas in the auditorium cheer wildly as a large turtle jumps into the arena, flexes his muscles, and breaths out an experimental tong of Flames, toasting link the first's hot dog to a crisp
Link 1st: HAY!
Mario: Player two is no stranger to taking over worlds and kidnappings either. He has now tried four times to conquer and destroy Donkey Kong island, has kidnapped the largest stockpile of bananas of all time, Donkey and Diddy Kong, and has more costumes then a Shaskspereian actor. Ladies and gentlemen, the man who is one letter short of an alphabet, the Kommander of all Kremlings, K.Rool!
Crowd: Yaaay!
The crowd cheers as a large body flies in overhead, using an impossibly small jetpack. He land majestically in the middle of the arena, folds in the helicopter blades, and removes the pack, much to the delight of all the Kremlings.
Mario: The talking is over, so let the battle beg....
Luigi: err....Mario? We don't have a celebrity commentator.
Mario: yeah. I knew that. Let's see. umm. Dixie Kong, would you be the guest commentator?
Dixie: Why not? They wouldn't let me in DK 64.
She makes her way up to the commentary booth
Luigi: Now Mario.
Mario: Now the talking is really over. They are fighting for the title of supreme lizard king, so LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!
A kremling goes to hit the starting bell, but is stopped by a bunch of koopas who want to do the honours. A fight ensures
Link 3rd: Awww, well.
Taking a bow out of his pouch, he carefully shoots an arrow between the koopas and the Kremlings, causing the bell to ring in the key of A#
The two contestants circle each other, summing up their opponent, and taking part in the pre match banter
Browser: So, you think you can take me on, do ya? You haven't even been in a deathmatch yet!
K.Rool: Well, you haven't exactly got a sparkling record, have you? I've kome to konqure!
At this browser, Mario, Luigi, Dixie and the crowd start laughing hysterically.
K.Rool: What?
Browser: ha ha ha! Say you're alphabet!
K.Rool. A B K D E....
Everyone: hahahahahaha!
K.Rool: Don't laugh! It's a rare condition (Pun intended!) That means I can't say.... the Letter after B.
With that he clips a red cape on his shoulders, and places a crown on his head
Luigi: Wow! King K.Rool looks ready to go!
Mario: He's a king? I thought you said he was a comman...err, kommarnder!
Luigi: This is from the time he kidnapped the Kong's banana horde and stashed them on Gangplank galleon.
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's the K.Rool from DKC 1
Mario: Oh.
At this point. K.Rool makes his move. Quickly taking off his crown, he lightly tosses at browser. The spikes on top make it as deadly as any Ninja star. The projectile hits Browser directly on the snout, causing a gash on it
Browser: My face! You've ruined my beautiful face!
Mario: I'd say it was an improvement!
Browser: Shut it, plumber!
K.Rool: Take this!
with that, he hurls his crown at the koopa king once more. However, this time Browser is prepared. he shoots a jet of flames at the crown. The deadly headgear starts to melt, and by the time it reaches browser, it has turned into a lump of metal, which falls at his feet.
K.Rool: My Krown! How dare you! I paid good money for that at a boot sale!
With that, K.Rool jumps high into the air, and butt-drops on top of browser. Browser is hit directly on the front of his shell, and a small hairline crack appears.
Browser: You *******! that will cost thousands to fix, unlike your crummy crown. Well, Two can play at that game!
Browser then lifts one foot up, and stomps the ground. Immediately, the whole arena starts to shake. Bits of plaster fall from the roof. Spectators cling to their seats for dear life. The three commentators hit the deck like a bunch of sissies. Everything moves, except for K.Rool
Browser: Whhhhhat?!
Mario: But.. but how? He didn't budge an inch!
Dixie: Simple. He used his....errrr.… large body mass to stay routed to the spot
K.Rool: I heard that, Dixie!
Dixie: Oops.
K.Rool: Let's finish this!
K.Rool jumps into the air, preparing to butt-drop browser. However, Browser expected this, and lays on his belly, leaving the deadly spikes on his shell pointing upwards. K.Rool spots this too late.
K.Rool: Mother said they'd be days like this...
The spikes plunge deep into his rear end, causing him to go a funny shade of purple
K.Rool: YEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOW!!!
He jumps up, and tries to rub it better. Browser gets up, and watches, with an amused smile on his face.
Browser: Give up now! you've got no chance.
K.Rool: Give up? But I haven't even started!
With that, he pulls off the cape, puts a lab coat on, and dons a pair of large rubber gloves and a jetpack.
Dixie: lets see how baron K.Roolenstine will handle Browser
Mario: But you said he was king K.Rool!
Luigi: This isn't going to be like that link bloodline thing, is it? This is from the time he kidnapped Donkey and Diddy Kong to use a batteries for his giant robot, Kaos
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's the K.Rool from DKC 3
Mario: Oh.
K.Rool begins the next onslaught. He takes to the sky on his jetpack, and begins to hurl wooden barrels down on the terrified turtle. Many find their mark, direct on his noggin, knocking him to the verge of unconscious.
Dixie: As Browser can't fly, it looks as if K.Rool's won.
K.Rool You pitiful beast, take this!
He pulls out a remote control, and presses an unnecessary large red button. From the top of the jetpack, a large Kannon unfolds, and aims for Browser.
K.Rool: Prepare to meet thy maker!
The kannon fires a bolt of pure electricity at Browser. Browser prepares for the impact, but then realises something.
Browser: Very good, K.Rool, except for one small flaw. That only worked before because the Kongs had Metal Barrels. but in here, there is only one metallic object....
K.Rool turns and looks at his steel jetpack
K.Rool: Oopsy...
The bolt does a U-turn, and Hits K.Rool's back. 25,000 volts gallivant through his body, causing him to go into muscle spasms. The sparks then Ignite the fuel in the jetpack, blasting K.Rool down to earth with a bump. He gets up groggily, only to realise his lab coat's on fire. He then rolls around the arena floor, trying to put the flames out.
Mario: That's..
Luigi: ..Gotta..
Dixie: ..Hurt.
By Now, K.Rool has somewhat recovered.
K.Rool: Bah! Well, I've still got more up my sleeve....
With that, he tugs off the jetpack, gloves and what's left of the lab coat, and puts on a pair of boxing gloves and a pair of gaudy yellow shorts
Banjo: Hay! Their mine!
K.Rool: Sorry. Rare are on a budget, and they can't just lie around until your next game.
Luigi: King Rool looks ready for action.
Mario: What? A minute ago he was a baron!
Luigi: Sigh. This is from the time that K.Rool tried to destroy Kong island using his island, but everyone stopped him in a giant boxing match.
Dixie: Except me. Sniff. Sniff.
Luigi: There, there, Dixie. Let it all out.
Mario: What?
Luigi: He's the K.Rool from DK 64.
Mario: Oh.
K.Rool then gives Browser a fearsome uppercut. Browser staggers back, completely unprepared for this line of attack. K.Rool doesn't let up. The blows rain hard and fast on Browser. The hairline crack on his shell starts to grow. K.Rool then buffers him into a corner, where he swiftly kicks him in his midsection.
Browser: oof!
The blow completely winds him. K.Rool runs to the opposite side of the arena, bounces off the wall, and runs in to put the lights out for Browser.
K.Rool: Say, goodnight, sucker!
However, Browser manages to roll to the side, and K.Rool crashes into a very solid wall.
Browser: Ha! Nice try K. Drool! Now, I've taken a leaf out of tiny's book.
With that, Browser pulls out a small mushroom with a strong sent
Luigi: What's that? It's not a super mushroom.
Browser eats it, and is instantly turns into a racoon
Browser: Oops. This a mushroom from Khoonlit.
Link 2nd : Sorry. I thought I got rid of all of them.
Browser takes another mushroom out, and eats that. He transforms back into his old self, except now a fraction of the Size.
Dixie: Cranky Kong once told me about them. When he kidnapped Pauline in 1994, he used the shrinking mushrooms against Mario.
Mario: I thought that looked familiar! I must have dropped one in Browsers castle!
Luigi: I hope not. 1994? It would be well past its sell by date!
K.Rool: Fool! Now you will be even easier to crush!
Browser: Says you
K.Rool: I'm gonna make roadkill out of you!
K.Rool goes to stomp on browser, but he is now so small, he easily darts out of the way. K.Rool tries again.... and again....and again. But the koopa king is just too agile. Eventually, K.Rool collapses from exhaustion.
Browser: Now, for the Piéce de résistanse
He grows back to normal size, inhales deeply, then lets rip with a tong of fire that any charlizzard would be proud of. K.Rool catches fire…. And snaps in half.
Dixie: It's a Decoy! That's Kardbord K.Rool
Mario: K.Rool's made of cardboard?
Luigi: For Pete's sake, Mario! this is his stunt double he used against the kongs
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's a boss from DK 64
Mario: Oh.
Just then a loud humming is heard from above. They all look up
Luigi: What the heck is THAT?
Mario: I..I see it, but I don't believe it.
crowd: oooooh!
the thing they are all staring at.... is a giant floating crocodile. A hatch on the underbelly pops open, and a figure of considerable girth jumps out, and lands in the arena.
K.Rool: I see my decoy kept you long enough for me to get the flying kroc. Gaze at it's splendour!
Browser: not impressed.
K.Rool: You will be
The slightly deranged Kremling king pulls on a red adrmial's coat, a large black hat, and a worryingly large blunderbuss
Dixie: Things are going to heat up now Kaptin K.Rool's here
Mario What? But I thought he was a cardboard Baron-king boxer!
Luigi: Mario, For the last time. This is from the time he kidnapped Donkey kong and took him to the kemling island
Dixie: Which a certain, talented chimp destroyed!
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's the K.Rool from DKC 2
Mario: I still don't get it.
Luigi: I give up!
K.Rool: Enough! You will submit to me!
He directs his blunderbuss at Browser, pulls the trigger... and some fishes fall out
K.Rool: Drat! I knew I should have cleaned it after DKC2!
He gives the gun a kick, points it at the floor, and a flame jet propels him to the other side of the arena, knocking Browser to the floor in the process.
Browser gets to his feet, and tuns towards his opponent.
Big mistake. The moment he turns, K.Rool points the blunderbuss at him, and fires a barrel at his head from point-blank range. not only being painful, Browser now has a barrel stuck on his head
"Do you think this will stop me?" his muffled voice cries.
With that, he inhales deeply, and breaths out a flame, planning to burn the barrel off
K.Rool: Actually, I was hoping you'd do that.
In the dim light of his flame, Browser can just about read the writing in the inside of the barrel
Browser: danger - Trinitrotoluene. Hmmm. I wonder what that is?
K.Rool: You flunked chemistry. tell him, bomberman.
Bomberman: Trinitrotoluene, also called Symmetrical, is more commonly know as TNT.
Browser: TNT!?!?!
At that moment, the barrel blows up. Still on the Koopa king's head. Smoke fills the arena.
Mario: That's gonna hurt in the morning.
The smoke and debris clear, revealing a burnt and blackened Browser
Browser: but I wanna wear the pink one mummy. Who....What? Oh. yeah. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!
Browser then breathes a huge jet of flames. K.Rool, however, seams unconcerned
K.Rool: Sigh.
He points his gun at the oncoming firewall, and presses the trigger. A blue cloud gently pops out of the end, and drifts lazily towards into the flames. Instantly the flames are extinguished.
K.Rool: Ice clouds. Gotta love em'.
Browser: Oh. Bother.
Luigi: It looks as if Browser's out of ideas.
K.Rool: Here's an idea for you. DIE!
K.rool pulls the switch to rapid fire, and lets rip. kannonballs, fireing at a rate of five a second, hurl themselves towards Browser.
The fist volley hit the king hard and fast, knocking him over. K.Rool starts laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, he laughs so hard that his hat falls over his eyes.
K.Rool: Hay! Who turned out the lights?
Not being able to see, he unwittingly points the gun up in the air. Kannonballs fly high into the air, and take out the flying krock's engines. The mighty ship majestectily plunges towards earth.
Dixie: Once....more...you open the door...
Luigi: DIXIE! This isn't titanic!
Dixie: Sorry. I got carried away
K.Rool finally gets his hat off.
K.Rool: Arrh. That's better. Now I can.......oh.
The last thing he sees is a 30 tonne battleship two seconds away from landing on him
Mario: I can't watch.
Dixie: I can!
CRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHH!!!
They look down to see K.Rool pinned down under the wreckage
K.Rool: I'm alright....hay! I can't move
Mario: Well, K.Rool is immobilised, so that means this weeks champion, and supreme king of lizards, is Browser!
crowd: Yaaay!
Browser climbs on top of the wreckage and bows to his adoring (?) fans. Just then his shell gives up the ghost, splitting in two and leaving it's embarrassed owner standing in his CK undies
Luigi: Well, I guess the koopas and the kremlings will tend to their leaders hurts, no-one was severely hurt, and we all had a chemistry lesson. that's was one remarkable match up, I must say. We did it this week, and we're gonna do it all again in Seven days time. until then, from me Mario and Dixie, Good night!
Announcer: Welcome all Nintendo characters! I would just like to let you all know that to keep both hands and feet inside your seat for your safety. This rule is particularly in effect for this Deathmatch. And now, with out further ado, let me introduce the commentators Mario and Luigi!
Mario: It's a-me, M-…
Luigi: Please, not again…
Mario: Fine, suit yourself. Anyway, we've got a huge Deathmatch tonight!
Luigi: Yea, it is between King Bowser Koopa and King K. Rool.
Mario: I'm betting on K. Rool. I really hope Bowser loses.
Mario shows a new shirt that says, "K. Rool Rools!"
Luigi: I think it's time to announce our special guest commentator, Donkey Kong!
DK enters the announcer booth and waves to the crowd while the DK rap song plays.
Luigi: DK, who do you think will win?
DK: (translation) Me thinks Bowser win. He kick some reptile butt!
Mario: It is now time to introduce our competitors.
Bowser enters the stadium proudly.
Mario: Our first loser, Bowser, is king of the Koopas. He plans on winning but I doubt it.
Soon after, K. Rool enters the stadium surrounded by Kremlings.
Luigi: Here comes King K. Rool, king of Kremlings. He seems to be favored by his great size. (or at least what Mario says)
Bowser: Are you ready to lose?
K. Rool: Only if you are. Come on, let's get started!
DK rings the bell with his head.
Bowser starts by attempting to jump on top of K. Rool but does not succeed.
K. Rool: Hah, you'll need to do better than that.
Bowser, with much frustration, swings his tail into K. Rool.
Bowser: I've only started…
Luigi: Wow, this is already a great match, agree?
DK: Yea, Bowser do well.
Mario: Not as good as K. Rool!
DK: Do you want to take this outside?
Luigi: Guys, come on, there is always next week…
Meanwhile, the Kremlings cheer K. Rool on as he, much like Bowser, swings his tail except the impact is much harder.
Bowser: Owww….
K. Rool: See, you're only wasting your time.
K. Rool turns around to the crowd and cheers.
Bowser: You'll pay for that…
To much surprise, Bowser starts to grab K. Rool by the tail and swings him around like Mario.
Luigi: Hey, he's stealing you're trademark move!
Mario: Yea, that's mine!!
After that, Bowser lets go and K. Rool lands in the corner.
Bowser: Now, for the finisher…
DK: Wow, Bowser is scorching K. Rool with his fiery breath!!!
Bowser: Hooray, I win again!!!!!
Luigi: Well, It seems in a upset victory, Bowser wins and K. Rool loses.
Mario: And I lose money.
This summary was written to you by Mark.
NintendoLand Deathmatch summary #2/4
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
Mario: Hello everybody, hello. Me and Luigi will present you two cheap men that I wish that they'll faint together and will not look at us anymore.
Tonight, we bring a mean crocodile who thinks that he's the real King and here is the DK's rival King K. Rool!
Luigi: And player two, the king of all baddies here is King Bowser Koopa.
King Bowser Koopa: Yo Men, don't talk to me like that anymore. Do I need to repeat that Luigi the idiot. Hein? I can't hear you, there.
King Bowser Koopa: I'm not a fool like you are!
Mario: Stop it, both of you!
King K. Rool comes inside the ring with some poison juice and spits it on all of them and then, he laughs.
King K. Rool: Ha! Ha! Ha! Suckers:
Mario: You call me a sucker well look at you fish breath.
King Bowser Koopa: Don't you dare call him a fish breath, he's my friend, loser. WELL, HE WAS!!!
Luigi: I thought you were here to fight and look at what you're doing right in the ring.
The Fight starts, now.
King K. Rool: Yo pipsqueak! Come here if you're not a chicken.
King Bowser Koopa takes King K. Rool from the tail and turns around and then throws him out the ring.
King K. Rool: Why? But why?
King K. Rool jumps on top of the ring and so then, he squashes King Bowser Koopa. King Bowser Koopa runs after King K. Rool but he couldn't of take him anymore because he was bigger than ever seen.
King K. Rool: Well, well, well. I think that I'll defeat you.
King Bowser Koopa: You're right, sir.
King K. Rool: If you dare call me again sir, I'll make you taste my fist.
King Bowser Koopa goes outside the ring and then Luigi said if he was 5 seconds outside the ring, King K. Rool wins but of course, he came back in the ring with his super punch.
King K. Rool falls down but it wasn't finished because when King Bowser Koopa was right next to King K. Rool that fell, he kicked on King Bowser Koopa's ****.
King Bowser Koopa steals Mario's metal cap and he becomes Metal Bowser.
Mario: That's it, last time, Wario stole it and now it's you, you little pig.
King Bowser Koopa: You call me a pig, look at your blubbered stomach.
The audience start saying: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Mario looks at them and says: Shut up or else I'll burst your faces.
King Bowser Koopa: Of what? Is it of fruit or something like that! Bwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Mario silently grabs King Bowser Koopa from the back and knocks him out!
King K. Rool: Come on, I want to see King Bowser Koopa's stars from me, not from you.
Mario: What's the big difference?
King K. Rool: The big difference is that mine are cool and yours are dumb. You sit with you're fat *** on the chair, and mine of course is not fat.
Mario: Well how do I need to sit? With my head of what?
King K. Rool: Yeah, with your head.
Luigi's snoring in the audience while Mario screaming after King K. Rool.
Wario comes inside and starts laughing.
Wario: So, who's winning?
No one answers.
Wario: Hello, who's winning?
King Bowser Koopa: I am.
King K. Rool: Thats why you're blacked out on the face, stupid. Look at him, Wario, look if you're not blind!
Wario: I see, so your winning, bravo the King.
King K. Rool: Shut up, or else I'll laugh at you.
King Bowser Koopa wakes up all madly!
He punches King K. Rool like hell and then, see King Bowser Koopa's perfect punches to King K. Rool. King K. Rool does fire blast on King Bowser Koopa. King Bowser Koopa thinks of his moves while King K. Rool becomes severely mad and throws rocks on King Bowser Koopa until King Bowser Koopa gets up and makes him feel his grits.
King Bowser Koopa: Let's do better than we can and then will see the champ.
Mario: I bet you two that you are all going to be disqualified.
King Bowser Koopa turns on Mario and so King K. Rool receives a chair from Luigi and then slams it hard on King Bowser Koopa.
King K. Rool: Thanks!
Mario: Finally he woke up.
Luigi: Dingo, Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
King Bowser Koopa tries to do better but I'm afraid that he can't do better.
As he charges himself, King K. Rool gets his beatings of his life until Wario steel a table and slams it another time to King Bowser Koopa.
Mario: Poor old King Bowser Koopa. He can't take it anymore.
Wario: I'm thinking so.
Mario: I did not ask you that question.
Wario: Oh! The fragile man.
Mario: Shut up, the little Grinch!
King Bowser Koopa: Come on, shut up or else i`ll fry your brains, fat *****!
Mario: Okay, man!
King K. Rool hits King Bowser Koopa with a metal bat and then King Bowser Koopa gets up with a blue shell and it follows King K. Rool all around and hits him so hard that King K. Rool becomes red and then, King K. Rool maddly hurts King Bowser Koopa by throwing him on a table and brakes in little pieces. King Bowser Koopa jumps on King K. Rool and kicks his butt.
Waluigi: Yo Mario, the loser with full of sugar in his stomach that always thinks that he`s the man.
Mario comes up to the audience and gives a big blow to Waluigi but it wasn`t affective cause of his electricity that he did on Mario.
Mario: Electricity, I didn`t know you had that.
Waluigi: Well, I do have electricity. Wario comes up and throws Mario in the ring.
Wario: Shut up! Because last time that we were here, you cheated, now show them how weak you are.
Wario: …cause you cheated!
Mario: I did not!
Wario: I know why? Cause I left you a chance, little baby.
Mario: Do you want to act like an idiot up there or do you want to watch them fight?
Wario took his seat with a red face. Toad comes with a mushroom gun and starts shooting Wario until King Bowser Koopa comes and does a fire blast on Toad, stars were on top of Toad's head.
Toad: Waaaaaaaaaaa!
Mario turns around and sees Wario's face right in front of him.
Wario: Take this, fish breath. PAM! POW! BOUM! WAAABOUM!
Wario: This is for last time! BOUMMMMMMMMMM!
Stars came on top of Mario's head.
Mario: Take this, Wariooooooooo!!! Wario punched him while he was talking to him.
Mario: Wariooooooooooooo! Come here, I said!
Wario: Never!!!
Wario was talking to his brother, Waluigi, silently.
Mario: Who are you taking to?
Wario: None of your bisewacks!
Mario flies and when he was on the top of the DeathMatch Stadium, and then squashes Wario.
Wario: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Mario: I`ve had it with you, I`ve really had it with you!
Wario: Mario, since you did me that, King Bowser Koopa`s gonna give me my bull hat.
King Bowser Koopa: Take it, Wario.
Wario: It`s time to see you with a big black bruise on your face.Wario puts his head down and runs but misses his shot but he re-did it so it affected Mario and Mario faints. Mario starts bleeding so then, Peach comes and she made him in Metal, Metal Mario.
Mario: Here I come. PAMMMMM!
Wario: Uh! That hurts that I forgot to say Ouch that hurts!
Wario: My brother will make you be normal and I`m gonna become in real metal and I will have electricity, that meens your going to cry like a baby! Wa!ha!ha!ha!ha!
Wario electrocutes Mario and then the audience were mad because they wanted to watch a match but they were fighting. Mario told them that he's sorry about stopping this match.
Referee: Stop it, Mario.
Wario electrocutes the referee so he could make Mario feel his guts. Wario smashes Mario on the floor and starts kicking and throwing himself on him and then, Wario misses his shot and ends up on the floor with Luigi's super kick.
Luigi: Stop kicking my big brother, you fat pig.
Waluigi: Shut up, cause you're worst than him, you little monkey with a hat on, the day that you were born, I wanted your name to be Fanny Halitosis and that means that you're an *** and a dog breath! Wa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Yoshi: Waluigi, had you ever known that you were a stupid jerk?
Waluigi: Yes, but, you are 255 times worst than me.
Waluigi: Go Bro! Go Bro! Kick his candy ***.
Big Bom-Omb has come to destroy Luigi's mouth!
Big Bom-Omb: Open big, Luigi.
Luigi punches him non-stop and then, Big Bom-Omb runs away.
Wario: Mario take this big blow!!! KING K. ROOLOOOUUUUUMMMMMMMM!
Mario: Mamamiaaaaaaaaaa!
King K. Rool: I`ve had enough with all of you stupid jerks.
King Bowser Koopa: I`ve had it too!
King Bowser Koopa hits King K. Rool and then King K. Rool screams on his ear, loud.
King K. Rool: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I can`t believe it!
King Bowser Koopa: Ha! Ha! Sucker!
King K. Rool: You're dead-o-meato, man! But man that hurted me.
Luigi finally wakes up and says that it's a too long this match but they don't listen to him.
King Bowser Koopa: Come on, sissy. Give me a big blow if your not scared.
King K. Rool: Okay, i`ll do it for ya.
King K. Rool does it and so, King Bowser Koopa falls on the ground.
King Bowser Koopa gets up fast so he won`t lose and King K. Rool jumps so high and squashes King Bowser Koopa and so Waluigi goes and take someones belt in the audience and goes into the ring and hits King K. Rool with it so then King K. Rool turned around and saw his face and felt to make him bleed like hell but King Bowser Koopa comes behind and slashes him with fire and King K. Rool becomes bigger and bigger and he touches the sealing and then, he jumps super high and does a super duper simian slam on King Bowser Koopa and then King Bowser Koopa puts fire on King K. Rool and then, King K. Rool becomes King K. Rool that he will be much stronger. King K. Rool hits King Bowser Koopa and King Bowser Koopa flies and lands in the audience but King Bowser Koopa jumped high to get back in the ring and King K. Rool takes his knee that King Bowser Koopa lands on it.
King Bowser Koopa: Awwwwwwwwww! Awwwwwwwwwwww!
Baby Bowser: I`m now gonna be the referee and lets see more action this time.
King K. Rool hits Baby King Bowser Koopa out of the ring and by the way he stole all King K. Rool coins and then King K. Rool that had these precious coins gets out of the ring and goes after Baby King Bowser Koopa.
Baby Bowser: I'm so gentle and you are even for these goody good coins. I'm so nice, Heh! Heh! Heh!
King K. Rool takes a big hammer and puts the lights of the stadium off. He goes first after Waluigi and squashes him and then Baby Bowser and then Mario and Luigi and then King Bowser Koopa and takes his coins back.
Wario: You forgot me, you big baboon.
King K. Rool takes another suit right on top of his other suit and becomes even stronger and he's named Sgr. King K. Rool and Wario faints when he sees him.
King K. Rool comes back to normal and takes Mario`s metal cap and becomes Metal King K. Rool and then King Bowser Koopa comes in the ring and took a poison that melts the metal down and it happened so King Bowser Koopa is really mad as he hits King K. Rool and King K. Rool gets smaller and smaller and smaller until he becomes normal. King K. Rool remakes himself into King K. Rool but red cause he's mad this time.
Luigi: Is it ever gonna finish this stupid match. Look at them these two little brats.
King Bowser Koopa: Shut up! You monkey dork.
King K. Rool: Shut the hell up, fish breaths.
King Bowser Koopa: Hey, did I talk to ya right now?
King K. Rool: Okay Mr. Fragile.
King Bowser Koopa: Don't call me that anymore.
King K. Rool: Okay you King's ***.
King Bowser Koopa: Ah! Shut up! You dumb asswole.
They started fighting together (by talking) and then Luigi sighed to go to sleep.
Mario: Well, well, well, I saw that King K. Rool hit me and my brother Luigi with a stupid hammer and for that you could be disqualified but I ordered you to continue and King Bowser Koopa will give you a big blow with that hammer cause of that.
King K. Rool gets hit as he bundles around and then bundles on King Bowser Koopa.
King Bowser Koopa: Yiawwwwwwouchhhh!
King K. Rool is after King Bowser Koopa to make him feel his fist on his face.
King K. Rool: Come over here you little chicken.
King Bowser Koopa: I`m not chicken like you, pipsquake.
King K. Rool: Mind your own bisewacks, fat ***.
As King Bowser Koopa hits King K. Rool, non-stop, he burned King K. Rool with his fire. And then, King Bowser Koopa won.
Mario: Luigi! Luigi! It ended.
Luigi (sigh): Oh, finally and who won?
Mario: it was King Bowser Koopa that won.
Conker: Hello, everybody!
Mario and Luigi: Bye, Conker.
Conker: What? It ended, I thought it just started. Those mother****in' asswoles. It was written a 10:00 PM.
Luigi: But us, it was written at 7:00 PM.
Mario: Conker, it's written to come in at 7:00 PM and to leave at 10:00 PM.
Conker: So then, who won?
King Bowser Koopa: Me, the best.
Conker: Alright, bye!
Luigi: Bye!
They all left!!!
The End!!!
This summary was written to you by King K. Rool Jr..
NintendoLand Deathmatch summary #3/4
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
The crowd cheers as Mario and Luigi walk up to their box seat. Throughout the crowd are tons of video game villains. Ganondrof sits next to Agnahim, eating some ‘Poke-popcorn’. Mizar and Grunitlda drink some ‘Conker Cappachinos’. Other N64 villains are scattered around the arena, ready for the battle all have been waiting for.
Mario: Hello! Welcome to tonight’s-a Nintendoland Battle!
Luigi: Tonight we have two of Nintendo’s greatest foes.
Mario: Yes! As you can see, almost 75% of the crowd are villains and friends of the fighters.
Luigi: That is correct, bro. In fact, I heard that the Koopas and Kremlings are holding a bet on who will
win.
Mario: Bowser will definitely win. All Mario character’s have a knack for fighting.
Luigi: Don’t be so sure, Mario. Remember the you vs. Dk battle?
Mario: Well, um…
Luigi: Forget about it. Anyways, lets get to the battle.
Mario: In the right corner, nemesis of the Mushroom Kingdom, kidnapper of the Princess Peach……King Bowser Koopa!
Bowser jumps into the ring. Behind him are his eight children carrying a sign reading: BOWSER. The Koopa King breathes fire as the lights dim.
Luigi: In the left corner stands the reptilian archrival of Donkey Kong. Ladies and gentlemen….King
K. Rool!
K. Rool drops from the rafters in his boxing shorts and gloves from DK64. Several Kremlings cheer behind
him.
K. Rool: You wanna’ mess, Bowser?
Bowser: Try m e, K. Rool.
Mario: Let the match begin!
Bowser jumps into action by breathing several fireballs at K. Rool. The reptilian monarch dodged
them and began crating shockwaves. Bowser tripped on one, and fell to the ground. K. Rool laughed and
jumped on his opponent. K. Rool’s large weight crushed Bowser. K. Rool then jumped off as Bowser began to get up. The king then upper-cutted Bowser. The Koopa King landed face first on the ground and groaned in pain.
Mario: Mama-Mia! Bowser is-a losing!
K. Rool: You better believe it, Lardio!
Mario: I wouldn’t be talking…
K. Rool: Well, lets see if you Mushroom folk like this move…
K. Rool walked over to Bowser and picked him up.
Bowser: Waah! Waddya’ doing?
K. Rool: Time for a little ride, buddy.
K. Rool then threw Bowser into a nearby wall.
Kremlings cheered as several Koopa’s bit their tongues. Bowser slowly got up and decided to get even.
He jumped into his shell and began rolling toward K. Rool.
K. Rool: Ooooo, now the loser’s gonna’ roll me over!
Bowser got faster and faster and then pointed his spikes at K. Rool. The reptile king’s stomach was
pierced badly and he was knocked a few yards back. Bowser slid again toward K. Rool and did the same
attack. After another shot Bowser got out.
Bowser: So who’s the loser now?
K. Rool: Don’t be so sure, Bowser! I got more tricks up my sleeve…
K. Rool then took off his crown.
Bowser: Oh, I’m sooo scared! It’s that silly Donkey Kong move.
K. Rool: Yeah, but I enhanced my crown a little bit.
Bowser: How so?
K. Rool threw the crown at Bowser while saying:
K. Rool: Let’s just say that I added some homing components to it.
Bowser ran from the crown, but it kept coming toward him. Soon he was hit. But, the small crown almost
unaffected him.
Bowser: Oh, what a harmful weapon you got there K.
Fool. Maybe this move will inspire you.
Bowser then took out a Bom-omb and threw it at K.
Rool. The blast hit him
K. Rool: *Cough-Cough* Is that the best you can do?
Bowser: Actually, no.
Bowser then threw several hammers at K. Rool.
K. Rool: Well, two can play this game. Hi-yah!
K. Rool jumped on the floor, and 10 cannon balls
fell from the rafters. Bowser tried to avoid them, but the was hit several times. He threw more hammers at K.
Rool, and then shot a few fireballs.
K. Rool: Yahhhh! My tail’s on fire! My tail’s on fire!
A few Kremlings blow it out.
K. Rool(whispering): Lets move into plan B.
Kremling: Heh heh, you got it boss!
Bowser then threw another Bom-omb at K. Rool, which exploded in his face.
K. Rool: Now, boys!
Mario: Hmmm, the two are fighting pretty furiously, I wonder what’s going to happ--
Luigi: Wait a second, some Kremlings are entering the ring!
A dozen or so Kremlings jumped into the arena and began biting Bowser.
Bowser: Hey! Get off me! This is illegal!
Mario: Security!
A few Saturns run in, but are toppled over by a hoard of Koopas who are being led by Kamek, the
magi-koopa.
Kamek: We cannot let these stupid reptiles stop Bowser! Get them!
The Kremlings saw the Koopas and called in some more of their comrades. In front of them was Krusha, who was carrying a large club.
Krusha: We cannot let these turtle enemies stop our men and leader!
Kremling in the crowd: Why don’t we send the Klap Traps after them?
Krusha: Good idea!
Krusha then opened up a box holding ten Klap-Traps.
The small creatures ran up to the Koopa’s and began eating them.
Kamek: We cannot allow those Krem-whateveryoucallems get us! Where are those Goombas?
Goomba: Right here, boss!
Kamek: What are you waiting for, help master Bowser!
The Goombas begin jumping on the Klap-Traps heads, killing them instantly. After all were dead, The
Goobas ran back to their seats, anxious to see the ending.
Mario: Oy, these dummies are ruining the battle.
Luigi: How can we-a stop them?
???: Hey Mario!
Mario: Mamma-Mia! It’s the DK Krew!
Donkey Kong: Yep, sorry we’re late for the match. Chunky was practicing his triangle for his recital
next week. When we got here, we saw all these Kremlings and Koopas in our seats. We came up here to
ask you guys were to get some new ones.
Diddy: Yeah, we need seven.
Luigi: But aren’t there five of you?
Diddy: Yes, but Chunky takes up three seats.
Chunky: Do you intend to see another day, Diddy Kong?
Diddy: Heh heh. Five seats please.
Mario: We’ll give you seats, but first could you give
us a hand with that mob?
DK: Sure! We haven’t battled Kremlings for about two
years.
Mario: Fan-a-tastic! Thanks you guys!
DK: Sure! Lets get kick some Kremling butt!
The DK Krew jumped into the ring and began pounding Kremlings and Koopas.
K. Rool: Hey! Lardio! Why are those Dopey Kongs in our battle?
Mario: Because your stupid comrades are mobbing the game!
K. Rool: We want them here, and we’re going to continue our battle!
Bowser: Yeah! These guys are kinda like, uh, obstacles!
K. Rool: Yeah, what he said! Now lets fight, Koopa boy!
K. Rool avoided the Koopas knawing at him and shot some cannons at Bowser. The Koopa King picked up two Kremlings and then threw them at K. Rool while avoiding the shot. K. Rool then took out a small gun.
Bowser: What’s that?!?
K. Rool: I call it Blast-O-Matic Jr. It’s a smaller version of my destruction machine from DK64!
Bowser: What the?!?
K. Rool then shot at Bowser, but missed horribly.
The shot destroyed several Kremlings, Koopa’s, and knocked down one of the arena walls.
Mario: Whoa! That’s-a one spicy meatball! How you doin’ there DK?
DK: Not so good. Tiny and Lanky were hit by that Blast-O-Matic Jr., and are nearly unconscious. Diddy was talking with Link, saying that the Hyrulian hero couldn’t hurt a cucco, and is currently being sent to a hospital. And Chunky left for the snack bar.
K. Rool then shot at DK, who was also KO’d.
Mario: Some much for those guy’s help.
K. Rool: Now that Dopey Kong’s out, its time for you
Bowser!
K. Rool shot at Bowser and once again missed. The shot cleared out tons of Kremlings and Koopas, but
also knocked down a whole other wall. Several people in the audience had fled the arena while the others
are hiding under the stands. K. Rool shot again and again, killing more and more Kremlings and Koopas, but not hitting Bowser.
K. Rool: What’s wrong with this thing?!?
Bowser: Perhaps you’re just stupid, but my ally Kamek is steering them away from me magically.
K. Rool: And now you just happened to tell me?
Bowser: Well, uh, oops.
K. Rool rolled his eyes and shot at Kamek. The magi-koopa was blown away and K. Rool now got ready to destroy Bowser.
K. Rool: Say your prayers, Bowser!
K. Rool shot the Blast-O-Matic Jr. at Bowser. The shot got closer and closer when all of a sudden Chunky
walked in front of Bowser.
Chunky: Hey Boso, I mean Bowser, if you see DK, tell him they’re selling those Mushroom Mochas you like. And they’re cheap too. Also I --,”
Before Chunky could finish, he was hit by the Blast-O-Matic Jr. The Kong fell to the ground and Bowser quickly picked him up.
Bowser: Take this, K. Drool!
Bowser threw Chunky at K. Rool and knocked the reptilian monarch out. Krusha ran over to his fallen
master.
Krusha: Oh no! K. Rool has been defeated by that big ugly Kong AGAIN! The Koopas have won!
The last ten or twelve Koopas alive walk toward Krusha.
Koopa: Well?
Krusha: All right, all right. Here you go.
Koopa: Ha ha! Yes, we won the bet! Ya’ like that,Kremlings!
Mario: What did those rascals win?
Luigi: Some sort of game, but what?
Bowser: Hey, isn’t that Super Smash Bros. Melee? Wheredid you get it?
Krusha: *Rolling his eyes* Well…uh…
MEANWHILE, IN JAPAN AT NINTENDO HEADQUARTERS…
Shiguru Miyamato(translated from Japanese): <Hey? Where is that SSB 2 game I had?>
HAL Laboratories Guy: <I don’t know. Some guy took it last night while I was working.>
SM: <That’s odd.>
HAL Laboratories Guy: <Yeah. He said that he needed it for a deal he had at some ‘Nintendoland deathmatch’.>
SM: <Very odd…>
This summary has been written by Jason Bitterman.
NintendoLand Deathmatch summary #4/4
King Bowser Koopa VS. King K. Rool
A large crowd is gathering at the mushroom kingdom tonight. Anyone who is anyone in the world of Nintendo is there. From the world famous links (All three of them), to the lowly koopa troopers, dressed in their finest coloured shells, down to those people so obscure, most people probably won't even remember them
Axle gear: Hay, I'm not obscure! ONE DAY I WILL RULE THE WORLD!
Koopa trooper: shut up.
Axle gear: sorry.
Yes, they are all here, and there here for one reason; to see two fighters beat the stuffing out of each other.
As everyone takes their seats in the Nintendo deathmatch stadium, an expectant hush falls over the crowd, broken only by the slight rustling of a para goombas wings. Suddenly, the stadium erupts in lights and music, as explosions accompany fireworks into the sky, creating a perfect N cube. The masses cheer deliriously as high above the crowds, the cube disperses and two familiar figures step into the commentating booth
Mario: It's-a-me, Mario!
Crowd: Yaaay!
Luigi: Yeah, yeah. I'm here too
Crowd: Yaaay!
Mario: Well, folks. We had an explosive match last week, and tonight, is going to be one heck of a fight.
Luigi: Yep. That's right, you tell them, M.
Mario: Yes tonight, we are proud to present the fight between....
At this point, Mario realises, to his dismay, that in the rush of the week, Him and the committee forgot to pick a deathmatch
Mario (To Luigi): L. We have a problem. We haven't organised a deathmatch for this week!
Luigi: Oh man! How'd this happen! Who's turn was it on the rota?
He looks down at the schedule
Luigi: Lets see. Week one, Luigi. Week two, N-dimension dude. Week three, mari.... MARIO!!
Mario: oops. I thought I was on week six!
Down below the crowd is becoming restless.
Luigi: well, that's just great, you dipstick! Now what are we gonna do?
Mario: errrrr.... Stall?
Luigi: Oh boy....
Mario (to crowds): Well, folks. Today it looks like the deathmatch will have to be postponed....
Crowd: Boooo!
Suddenly a figure jumps out of the crowd down to the stage
Browser: No way! I paid good money to see someone get knocked into the middle of next week! As the king of Lizards, I demand a fight!
Now, another figure jumps down into the ring
K.Rool: No! As The king of Lizards, I decree that a deathmatch occur tonight!
Browser: No way! I'm the king of lizards
K.Rool: I am!
Browser: No, me!
K.Rool: Me!
Browser: Me!
K.Rool: ME!
Browser: ME!
Luigi (To Mario): Hay, Mario, maybe we can kill two birds with one stone (To the battling kings): People! Let us settle this in a calm, mature, adult manor.
K.Rool: You mean sit around a table and discuss it?
Luigi: No. I mean knock seven bells out of each other, and provide us with a deathmatch.
Browser: Works for me.
K.Rool. Me too.
Luigi: Okay then Gentlemen, Go get ready.
The two lizard kings go off to the changing rooms to get ready.
Luigi: Phew. That was close. Mario, You EVER do that again, and we will use the backup plan.
Mario: What? You mean the one where I dress up as peach and....
Luigi: Yep. Now, start the intros. The fighters are ready!
Mario: Okay then LET'S GET IT ON!
Crowd: Yaaay!
Luigi: Player One is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Countless times he has tried to overthrow our beloved mushroom kingdom, and would probably have succeeded if it (Ah-hem) weren't for two fantastically good-looking plumbers. Ladies and gentlemen, The only person to pass princess kidnapping class with full marks, King Browser koopa!
crowd: Yaaay!
The koopas and goombas in the auditorium cheer wildly as a large turtle jumps into the arena, flexes his muscles, and breaths out an experimental tong of Flames, toasting link the first's hot dog to a crisp
Link 1st: HAY!
Mario: Player two is no stranger to taking over worlds and kidnappings either. He has now tried four times to conquer and destroy Donkey Kong island, has kidnapped the largest stockpile of bananas of all time, Donkey and Diddy Kong, and has more costumes then a Shaskspereian actor. Ladies and gentlemen, the man who is one letter short of an alphabet, the Kommander of all Kremlings, K.Rool!
Crowd: Yaaay!
The crowd cheers as a large body flies in overhead, using an impossibly small jetpack. He land majestically in the middle of the arena, folds in the helicopter blades, and removes the pack, much to the delight of all the Kremlings.
Mario: The talking is over, so let the battle beg....
Luigi: err....Mario? We don't have a celebrity commentator.
Mario: yeah. I knew that. Let's see. umm. Dixie Kong, would you be the guest commentator?
Dixie: Why not? They wouldn't let me in DK 64.
She makes her way up to the commentary booth
Luigi: Now Mario.
Mario: Now the talking is really over. They are fighting for the title of supreme lizard king, so LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!
A kremling goes to hit the starting bell, but is stopped by a bunch of koopas who want to do the honours. A fight ensures
Link 3rd: Awww, well.
Taking a bow out of his pouch, he carefully shoots an arrow between the koopas and the Kremlings, causing the bell to ring in the key of A#
The two contestants circle each other, summing up their opponent, and taking part in the pre match banter
Browser: So, you think you can take me on, do ya? You haven't even been in a deathmatch yet!
K.Rool: Well, you haven't exactly got a sparkling record, have you? I've kome to konqure!
At this browser, Mario, Luigi, Dixie and the crowd start laughing hysterically.
K.Rool: What?
Browser: ha ha ha! Say you're alphabet!
K.Rool. A B K D E....
Everyone: hahahahahaha!
K.Rool: Don't laugh! It's a rare condition (Pun intended!) That means I can't say.... the Letter after B.
With that he clips a red cape on his shoulders, and places a crown on his head
Luigi: Wow! King K.Rool looks ready to go!
Mario: He's a king? I thought you said he was a comman...err, kommarnder!
Luigi: This is from the time he kidnapped the Kong's banana horde and stashed them on Gangplank galleon.
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's the K.Rool from DKC 1
Mario: Oh.
At this point. K.Rool makes his move. Quickly taking off his crown, he lightly tosses at browser. The spikes on top make it as deadly as any Ninja star. The projectile hits Browser directly on the snout, causing a gash on it
Browser: My face! You've ruined my beautiful face!
Mario: I'd say it was an improvement!
Browser: Shut it, plumber!
K.Rool: Take this!
with that, he hurls his crown at the koopa king once more. However, this time Browser is prepared. he shoots a jet of flames at the crown. The deadly headgear starts to melt, and by the time it reaches browser, it has turned into a lump of metal, which falls at his feet.
K.Rool: My Krown! How dare you! I paid good money for that at a boot sale!
With that, K.Rool jumps high into the air, and butt-drops on top of browser. Browser is hit directly on the front of his shell, and a small hairline crack appears.
Browser: You *******! that will cost thousands to fix, unlike your crummy crown. Well, Two can play at that game!
Browser then lifts one foot up, and stomps the ground. Immediately, the whole arena starts to shake. Bits of plaster fall from the roof. Spectators cling to their seats for dear life. The three commentators hit the deck like a bunch of sissies. Everything moves, except for K.Rool
Browser: Whhhhhat?!
Mario: But.. but how? He didn't budge an inch!
Dixie: Simple. He used his....errrr.… large body mass to stay routed to the spot
K.Rool: I heard that, Dixie!
Dixie: Oops.
K.Rool: Let's finish this!
K.Rool jumps into the air, preparing to butt-drop browser. However, Browser expected this, and lays on his belly, leaving the deadly spikes on his shell pointing upwards. K.Rool spots this too late.
K.Rool: Mother said they'd be days like this...
The spikes plunge deep into his rear end, causing him to go a funny shade of purple
K.Rool: YEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOW!!!
He jumps up, and tries to rub it better. Browser gets up, and watches, with an amused smile on his face.
Browser: Give up now! you've got no chance.
K.Rool: Give up? But I haven't even started!
With that, he pulls off the cape, puts a lab coat on, and dons a pair of large rubber gloves and a jetpack.
Dixie: lets see how baron K.Roolenstine will handle Browser
Mario: But you said he was king K.Rool!
Luigi: This isn't going to be like that link bloodline thing, is it? This is from the time he kidnapped Donkey and Diddy Kong to use a batteries for his giant robot, Kaos
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's the K.Rool from DKC 3
Mario: Oh.
K.Rool begins the next onslaught. He takes to the sky on his jetpack, and begins to hurl wooden barrels down on the terrified turtle. Many find their mark, direct on his noggin, knocking him to the verge of unconscious.
Dixie: As Browser can't fly, it looks as if K.Rool's won.
K.Rool You pitiful beast, take this!
He pulls out a remote control, and presses an unnecessary large red button. From the top of the jetpack, a large Kannon unfolds, and aims for Browser.
K.Rool: Prepare to meet thy maker!
The kannon fires a bolt of pure electricity at Browser. Browser prepares for the impact, but then realises something.
Browser: Very good, K.Rool, except for one small flaw. That only worked before because the Kongs had Metal Barrels. but in here, there is only one metallic object....
K.Rool turns and looks at his steel jetpack
K.Rool: Oopsy...
The bolt does a U-turn, and Hits K.Rool's back. 25,000 volts gallivant through his body, causing him to go into muscle spasms. The sparks then Ignite the fuel in the jetpack, blasting K.Rool down to earth with a bump. He gets up groggily, only to realise his lab coat's on fire. He then rolls around the arena floor, trying to put the flames out.
Mario: That's..
Luigi: ..Gotta..
Dixie: ..Hurt.
By Now, K.Rool has somewhat recovered.
K.Rool: Bah! Well, I've still got more up my sleeve....
With that, he tugs off the jetpack, gloves and what's left of the lab coat, and puts on a pair of boxing gloves and a pair of gaudy yellow shorts
Banjo: Hay! Their mine!
K.Rool: Sorry. Rare are on a budget, and they can't just lie around until your next game.
Luigi: King Rool looks ready for action.
Mario: What? A minute ago he was a baron!
Luigi: Sigh. This is from the time that K.Rool tried to destroy Kong island using his island, but everyone stopped him in a giant boxing match.
Dixie: Except me. Sniff. Sniff.
Luigi: There, there, Dixie. Let it all out.
Mario: What?
Luigi: He's the K.Rool from DK 64.
Mario: Oh.
K.Rool then gives Browser a fearsome uppercut. Browser staggers back, completely unprepared for this line of attack. K.Rool doesn't let up. The blows rain hard and fast on Browser. The hairline crack on his shell starts to grow. K.Rool then buffers him into a corner, where he swiftly kicks him in his midsection.
Browser: oof!
The blow completely winds him. K.Rool runs to the opposite side of the arena, bounces off the wall, and runs in to put the lights out for Browser.
K.Rool: Say, goodnight, sucker!
However, Browser manages to roll to the side, and K.Rool crashes into a very solid wall.
Browser: Ha! Nice try K. Drool! Now, I've taken a leaf out of tiny's book.
With that, Browser pulls out a small mushroom with a strong sent
Luigi: What's that? It's not a super mushroom.
Browser eats it, and is instantly turns into a racoon
Browser: Oops. This a mushroom from Khoonlit.
Link 2nd : Sorry. I thought I got rid of all of them.
Browser takes another mushroom out, and eats that. He transforms back into his old self, except now a fraction of the Size.
Dixie: Cranky Kong once told me about them. When he kidnapped Pauline in 1994, he used the shrinking mushrooms against Mario.
Mario: I thought that looked familiar! I must have dropped one in Browsers castle!
Luigi: I hope not. 1994? It would be well past its sell by date!
K.Rool: Fool! Now you will be even easier to crush!
Browser: Says you
K.Rool: I'm gonna make roadkill out of you!
K.Rool goes to stomp on browser, but he is now so small, he easily darts out of the way. K.Rool tries again.... and again....and again. But the koopa king is just too agile. Eventually, K.Rool collapses from exhaustion.
Browser: Now, for the Piéce de résistanse
He grows back to normal size, inhales deeply, then lets rip with a tong of fire that any charlizzard would be proud of. K.Rool catches fire…. And snaps in half.
Dixie: It's a Decoy! That's Kardbord K.Rool
Mario: K.Rool's made of cardboard?
Luigi: For Pete's sake, Mario! this is his stunt double he used against the kongs
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's a boss from DK 64
Mario: Oh.
Just then a loud humming is heard from above. They all look up
Luigi: What the heck is THAT?
Mario: I..I see it, but I don't believe it.
crowd: oooooh!
the thing they are all staring at.... is a giant floating crocodile. A hatch on the underbelly pops open, and a figure of considerable girth jumps out, and lands in the arena.
K.Rool: I see my decoy kept you long enough for me to get the flying kroc. Gaze at it's splendour!
Browser: not impressed.
K.Rool: You will be
The slightly deranged Kremling king pulls on a red adrmial's coat, a large black hat, and a worryingly large blunderbuss
Dixie: Things are going to heat up now Kaptin K.Rool's here
Mario What? But I thought he was a cardboard Baron-king boxer!
Luigi: Mario, For the last time. This is from the time he kidnapped Donkey kong and took him to the kemling island
Dixie: Which a certain, talented chimp destroyed!
Mario: What?
Dixie: He's the K.Rool from DKC 2
Mario: I still don't get it.
Luigi: I give up!
K.Rool: Enough! You will submit to me!
He directs his blunderbuss at Browser, pulls the trigger... and some fishes fall out
K.Rool: Drat! I knew I should have cleaned it after DKC2!
He gives the gun a kick, points it at the floor, and a flame jet propels him to the other side of the arena, knocking Browser to the floor in the process.
Browser gets to his feet, and tuns towards his opponent.
Big mistake. The moment he turns, K.Rool points the blunderbuss at him, and fires a barrel at his head from point-blank range. not only being painful, Browser now has a barrel stuck on his head
"Do you think this will stop me?" his muffled voice cries.
With that, he inhales deeply, and breaths out a flame, planning to burn the barrel off
K.Rool: Actually, I was hoping you'd do that.
In the dim light of his flame, Browser can just about read the writing in the inside of the barrel
Browser: danger - Trinitrotoluene. Hmmm. I wonder what that is?
K.Rool: You flunked chemistry. tell him, bomberman.
Bomberman: Trinitrotoluene, also called Symmetrical, is more commonly know as TNT.
Browser: TNT!?!?!
At that moment, the barrel blows up. Still on the Koopa king's head. Smoke fills the arena.
Mario: That's gonna hurt in the morning.
The smoke and debris clear, revealing a burnt and blackened Browser
Browser: but I wanna wear the pink one mummy. Who....What? Oh. yeah. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!
Browser then breathes a huge jet of flames. K.Rool, however, seams unconcerned
K.Rool: Sigh.
He points his gun at the oncoming firewall, and presses the trigger. A blue cloud gently pops out of the end, and drifts lazily towards into the flames. Instantly the flames are extinguished.
K.Rool: Ice clouds. Gotta love em'.
Browser: Oh. Bother.
Luigi: It looks as if Browser's out of ideas.
K.Rool: Here's an idea for you. DIE!
K.rool pulls the switch to rapid fire, and lets rip. kannonballs, fireing at a rate of five a second, hurl themselves towards Browser.
The fist volley hit the king hard and fast, knocking him over. K.Rool starts laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, he laughs so hard that his hat falls over his eyes.
K.Rool: Hay! Who turned out the lights?
Not being able to see, he unwittingly points the gun up in the air. Kannonballs fly high into the air, and take out the flying krock's engines. The mighty ship majestectily plunges towards earth.
Dixie: Once....more...you open the door...
Luigi: DIXIE! This isn't titanic!
Dixie: Sorry. I got carried away
K.Rool finally gets his hat off.
K.Rool: Arrh. That's better. Now I can.......oh.
The last thing he sees is a 30 tonne battleship two seconds away from landing on him
Mario: I can't watch.
Dixie: I can!
CRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHH!!!
They look down to see K.Rool pinned down under the wreckage
K.Rool: I'm alright....hay! I can't move
Mario: Well, K.Rool is immobilised, so that means this weeks champion, and supreme king of lizards, is Browser!
crowd: Yaaay!
Browser climbs on top of the wreckage and bows to his adoring (?) fans. Just then his shell gives up the ghost, splitting in two and leaving it's embarrassed owner standing in his CK undies
Luigi: Well, I guess the koopas and the kremlings will tend to their leaders hurts, no-one was severely hurt, and we all had a chemistry lesson. that's was one remarkable match up, I must say. We did it this week, and we're gonna do it all again in Seven days time. until then, from me Mario and Dixie, Good night!
BTW, I apologize if I am going off topic, but Nintendoland used to have caption contests(which are found by searching in the list of updates) before it went on hiatus. Those who post on the "Funny Brawl pics" thread could take some inspiration from those, as they contain some truly priceless entries.
