Snot Man
Smash Cadet
All good things... must come to an end. -Friedrich Nietzsche
Well, this is it, Smash fans. I'll be going on vacation until Brawl comes out in America, so it will soon be time for us to part ways. But don't cry quite yet! We still have an entry ahead, and no expense was spared to make it a memorable one!
How so, you ask? By recruiting an all-stars team of Dojo entry reviewers from throughout the world! And by "the world", I mean "the fictional world of Japan Time Time" because I have no friends and thus can't use actual human beings. They'll be teaming up with me in order to review this week's entries more thoroughly than you could ever imagine. And, best of all, this epic, once-in-a-lifeteam operation will be overseen by none other than... Masahiro Sakurai!
I'm Masahiro Sakurai of Sora, creator of the 'Super Smash Bros.' series of fighting games featuring Nintendo's most popular characters. Hello. In a way, you could say this is the ultimate Japan Time Time fanservice experience. (laughs)
That's right! Sakurai and I have settled our differences to provide you the best quality entertainment imaginable. You really won't be seeing this anywhere else!
However, some of you may not have read all Japan Time Times, or never bothered with the Back in Time entries... for those people, we've prepared special bios for each characters.
(laughs) You really went overboard this time, didn't you?
(laughs) Maybe I did. (laughs)
All right, so let's see who's here!
First appearance: Week #1
The Phase Distorter has been our companion throughout all "Japan Time Time goes back in time" entries. It allowed me to provide historical commentary, and today, I'll be using it to clarify what lines are from me and not one of our many guest writers.
First appearance: The Smash Bros. DOJO!!
Masahiro Sakurai is the director of Sora, and the man indirectly responsible for this whole madness. He's the one directing the team making Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and apparently writes all Dojo entries. He has an odd writing style. It is as-of-yet unknown wether this is his fault or that of NoA translator Nate, who may or may not be a big poophead. We've spent a lot of time doing nothing but hate this man, but for some reason he will be co-hosting this anyway. He's not actually aware of this, however.
First appearance: Week #29
The Manliness-O-Meter has appeared in various forms throughout the most recent Japan Time Times. Today, it won't be rating anything, but its manliness has been maxed out, for some reason locking it in "Chuck Norris" mode. It is a meter of few words, so don't expect it to speak much.
First appearance: Week #8
Enton and Psyduck were the original mascots of Japan Time Time. Together with the help of Solid Snake, they helped overthrow the Nerd from the First Zelda Commercial's tyrannical rule of the JTT building. Together, they can fuse into Goduck, which is several times more powerful. ...somehow. While Enton is cool and collected, Psyduck is more reckless and whimsical. Like a buddy cop duo. Neither can say anything besides their own name.
First appearance: Week #18
Solid Snake helped Goduck save the day in the first Japan Time Time Power Hour. Since then, he's held a cushy desk job in the Japan Time Time building, which was in dire need of employees and fundings.
First appearance: Week #14 (as mysterious shadow)
Dr. Wily was the evil mastermind behind the scenes of the first Japan Time Time Power Hour. He was soon after neutralized by being given the care of Baby Moses from Bible Adventures. Since then, he's been forced to temporarily abandon dreams of world domination in order to tackle the challenges of single parenthood.
First appearance: Week #21
Toad is a cheerful employee of the JTT building who served as Solid Snake's assistant of sorts for a time. After Devilman's terrible outburst, he got lost while wandering the Desert of Scavengers to look for survivors and food. He has recently reappeared, and claims that he thought the entire world had been destroyed. But that didn't really happen. He was actually just in a particularly bleak post-apocalyptic desert and the rest of the world was fine.
First appearance: Week #23
King DeDeDe has been sponsoring Japan Time Time for quite some time now. His favorite things are praises, cake and causing trouble.
First appearance: Week #24
Xstryke was a human pulled from the real world into that of video games. He has a power level beyond the limits physics would allow. Toad had him hired in the Japan Time Time Halloween Power Hour, but XStryke and his friend Steve were killed fighting the Devil in a haunted castle. Luckily, XStryke has the unique power of immortality, amongst several others.
First appearance: Week #24
Devilman is an alternate form Snot Man takes when he gets very angry at Dojo updates. He once destroyed Canada in a fit of rage, and separated from his host body in order to take over the JTT building and expand his reign of terror across the entire world. Nothing really came from that because he's an underachiever.
First appearance: Week #30 (sort of)
The Wario Brothers(?) are a duo of troublemakers who split up at some point, but were recently reunited in a particularly touching episode of Japan Time Time. Wario loves garlic and ADD microgames. Waluigi loves eggplants and tennis. Together, they cause crime!
First appearance: Week #32
Shadow Bugs is the most horrifying weapon the Subspace Emissary has at its disposal. It claims to be the ultimate life form, whatever that means. Like almost everyone here, it's a one-shot joke given another day in the spotlight.
First appearance: The Incredible Hulk #180-181
Wolverine never appeared on Japan Time Time, but you can't have an all-star hero team without awkwardly trying to fit him into it, can you?
MONDAY: Vaulthttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/various/various24.html
I’ve clearly gone overboard with Brawl.
Snot Man says:
There's nothing wrong with going overboard when it comes to Brawl! ...But clearly, you didn't go overboard with THIS UPDATE.
Masahiro Sakurai says:
Now, now. There's plenty of variety, I cover much beloved topics... What's there not to like?
CRUSH!
Enton and Psyduck say:
Before you ask, yes, we Pokemon can type. And in proper english, to boot! Of course, I have to admit that we're lucky we were born with small claws and not, say, hooves, for typing with those would probably be a great endeavor. Furthermore, we have to thank the heavens above for spellchecking software. For this review, I'll have to type for the two of us, as my compatriot is suffering from a crippling headache. I am as well, but, without senselessly boasting, I've learned to endure it over the years.
Either way, this entry reminds me a lot of those clip episodes you see on long-running TV series sometimes. Occasionally, it can be a welcome break from the usual pace and help viewers remember about memorable moments while throwing in a bit of new material to keep them interested. But sometimes, they go a bit overboard. Either they make too many of those (Interesting trivia fact for anime fans: Over half of Gundam SEED Destiny is composed of clip episodes!) or don't do them right, leaving viewers with the impression that they just ate some oddly-textured microwaved leftovers of what they already had for lunch. This update here is a bit of a mix of each. Even though it bursts with content, it consists only of things that were explored more in-depth already, and worst of all, we're promised more! We already had an abysmal entry for the Options screen, and they're not done yet? Excuse me, but blech!
Solid Snake says:
You idiots, what are you doing?! Haven't you noticed that, whenever I get the chance to speak for a long time, I start ranting about inaccurate science and philosophy for several minutes straight? Somebody, quick, cut me off so that I can just parrot back the last word of their sentences like I usually do!
Dr. Wily says:
I can handle this! Consider if you will, Solid Snake, the troubling implications of the third Stage Builder screenshot. Notice anything? That's right, Yoshi's mugshot is missing!
Solid Snake says:
Missing?!
Dr. Wily says:
Now, what could have happened to it, you ask? Yoshi is right there, but no one is paying any attention to him. Why, it's very possible that he was a victim of... identity theft!
Solid Snake says:
Identity theft?!
Dr. Wily says:
In today's digital age, it's child's play for a hacker to take someone's identity away. Name. Adress. Driving license. Medical records. Mii. All those things are stored on computers. As such, they can be wiped out in the snap of a finger! But what defines a man? Are we so ephemerous as to be erased from existence so simply? Where does the boundary between our identity and who we really are begin? ...Will that do?
Solid Snake says:
Yeah. Thanks.
Toad says:
This update contains a lot of mysteries. Why doesn't Kirby wake up if there's a monster truck rolling next to him? Since when does Japan care about the Elite Beat Agents? Who is the pudgy guy with the glasses? Did someone steal Yoshi's identity? What's this about a swimming distance? What is that red fist sticker thing? But I know the answer to that last one!
In Sonic Advance, there was this Chao raising minigame thing. With the GBA connector, you could import them from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle or raise generic ones from scratch! With the rings you got in the main game, you could buy them a bunch of stuff. And fruit, too! But if you didn't have Sonic Advance, you could still import the minigame into your GBA, except that you had no way to get rings except with a lousy rock-paper-scissors minigame you pretty much had to play again and again if you wanted to get anywhere. And that red thing is the rock from that minigame!
...at least I think.
King DeDeDe says:
WHAT? We're gonna have to SWIM? Huh. ... Is it too late to revise my entry into this game, again? Oh yeah, and about Yoshi's mugshot. I ate it.
TUESDAY: First Songs in My Musichttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music22.html
Climb Up! And Get The Last Chance!
Snot Man says:
This is quite a nice entry with a lot of content, but there isn't a lot to review. So instead, I've decided to ask every guest reviewer which song they were the most excited about and why. I'll start by saying that I'm personally really looking forward to The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past's "The Dark World" because this is one of those games that’s just old enough for me to feel nostalgia about while still actually being cool. Because, no offense to Japan or whoever's reading this who might disagree, but when you fondly look back to memories of playing Ice Climbers, you clearly haven't actually touched the game in years.
Masahiro Sakurai says:
My song choices for this game were made very carefully after surveying song popularity, using opinions submitted to the Smash Bros. web site and listening to the songs themselves. But there are also some songs I added based entirely on my own whims. Like X: Tunnel Scene. It's not on the list of initial music, but that doesn't matter. If a song is good, that’s enough for me.
MAAARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CIRCUIT!
Enton and Psyduck say:
I don't think anyone is very surprised when we say we want to hear the new arrangement to the Pokemon Main Theme.
Solid Snake says:
You might've thought I'd name a Metal Gear song here, but you were wrong. I actually chose the Jungle Level theme from Donkey Kong Country because I really like making people think Naked Snake and I are the same person. ...I mean, we technically are, but not really. The legacy we pass on to our children isn't determined by our genes. The future is in the hands of the new generation now. With the Internet, the propagation of cell phones and new advancements in artificial intelligence, it's easy to lose oneself. Don't lose hope. Be free to be who you want to be. ... Oh, did I tell you about the one time I fought a guy covered in bees? Okay, that wasn't really me, but...
Dr. Wily says:
I choose Marionation Gear from Chosoju Mecha MG because, if you hadn't noticed yet, I enjoy robotics. Furthermore, I'm very fond of lording over you my knowledge of several languages, which allows me to play Japan-only games without problem. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...Oh, and Baby Moses chose Gritzy Desert from Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time for some reason. Maybe he likes that the game has babies in it? Who knows.
Toad says:
Awwww, Baby Moses took my pick. I was going to say that because it reminds me of the Desert of Scavengers, where only the strongest can survive, but only at the cost of their souls. Did you see that part in the second Star Wars movie where the guy puts Luke Skywalker inside a big furry creature so he doesn't freeze over? I did that on a really chilly night, once, but with a camel!
King DeDeDe says:
The obvious choice here is the Boss Theme Medley from the Kirby series. Why? Well, DUH! Major recurring boss from the Kirby series, coming through! ...What? What do you mean, my theme's not in there? GUARDS! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT! And seize them, while you're at it.
XStryke says:
I really like Ashurii no Theimu from Sawaru Meido in Wario, because I think Ashurii (I REFUSE to call her Ashley) is a really sweet little girl that is just SO MOE. In fact, she's my girlfriend! She cast a spell once that made my katanas a hundred times stronger, and in return I saved her from Sephiroth who wanted to use her as a sacrifice. Good times. In second place, I have Shin Onigashima because it's got a cool name. I don't know what it's about but it's gotta be cool.
Devilman says:
You know what makes me REALLY angry? What makes me want to slam my fist against a table and level a major city? Seeing that X: Tunnel Scene isn't in that list. This is an OUTRAGE! GRAAAAAAAAH! I'M GOING TO MURDER THE WORLD!
The Wario Brothers(?) say:
Warioware Inc.!
Waluigi Pinball!
Warioware Inc.!
Waluigi Pinball!
Warioware Inc.!
Warioware Inc.!
WALUIGI PINBALL! AND THAT'S MY FINAL ANSWER!
NYAAAAAAAAH-HAHAHAHA!
Shadow Bugs says:
Hmph. Typical. The Wario Brothers had to go and steal the very joke I was about to use. Now, how are the Shadow and Bugs Bunny halves of myself going to argue with each other on which song to favor? How pathetic. But do not underestimate the Ultimate Life Form. I've chosen a favorite theme song that will easily outclass the rest. Star Wolf's Theme it is for me. Tremble in despair!
Wolverine says:
I'm pretty partial to "Environmental Noises" from Pikmin.
WEDNESDAY: Brawlhttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/various/various25.html
There’s no need to memorize all this, though. Uh-uh.
Snot Man says:
And Monday's "Let's look at some more menus" series continues! Only this time, we have even less stuff, and most of it is already obvious to anyone who played a previous game!
Masahiro Sakurai says:
I was thinking to myself "With the game so close to release, what could I do to let the hype build up to its maximum point?" So I decided to do this and disappoint you all.
ME WANT GAME NOW!
XStryke says:
Oh man, I can't wait 'till the game comes out. When it does, I'll always play as Meta Knight because he's the strongest. I wrote a fanfic about him once in which he got a new sword that had evil powers and he used it to defeat every one in the Smash Bros. world. And then I arrived and said "meta knight this was your special training to see if you where the strongest......now you must fight me" and then I beat him. So yeah, he's the strongest video game character of all time besides me.
Devilman says:
XStryke, if you don't stop what you're doing this instant I'm going to throw you out the window and right into a vat of really sharp knitting needles. And then I'll run the vat over with a steamroller and melt the remains into a watch. Then I'll have DeDeDe smash that watch with a Wooden Crusher. And then I'll obliterate DeDeDe.
Okay, getting back to what I'm supposed to review... What the heck is this crap, Sakurai? Who were you writing this for, seriously? HURR DURR, I'M THE KIND OF PERSON SAKURAI HONESTLY THOUGHT WOULD READ THIS! I'VE NEVER TOUCHED A SMASH BROS GAME IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I'M SMARTS CHALLENGED AND MY FAVORITE READS ARE THE BACK OF CEREAL BOXES. I'M SO STUPID THAT WHEN I HAVE ARGUMENTS ON THE INTERNET I BRING UP HITLER ALL THE TIME. WHEN I WRITE I EITHER CAPITALIZE ALL LETTERS OR NONE OF THEM, AND I THINK THIS WHOLE PUNCTUATION STUFF WILL ONLY BE USEFUL IN SCHOOLS. IF I WERE AMERICAN AND OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE, I'D CHOOSE [someone else than King DeDeDe]! WHEN I LEAN TOO MUCH TO ONE SIDE, THE TIDES START CHANGING. WHEN I SEE PURPLE PIKMIN ON THE STREET, HE POINTS AT ME AND SAYS "LOOK AT THAT GUY, HE'S SO FAT"! MY BUTT CAN SINGLEHANDEDL-- Oh yeah, where was I at? Hold on, I need to take my pills. Bah. ..."For self-diagnosed ADD, placebo ONLY. In case of actual effect, consult your doctor."?
BULLCRUD!
The Wario Brothers(?) say:
I'm-a writing this!
No, I'm-a writing this!
Why do you type with an accent?
What about YOU?!
Get off that chair!
Make me!
CRASH!
Why did you just type "CRASH!"?
Didn't we have something to write?
I dunno!
Shadow Bugs says:
How pathetic. Are those insignificant worms even trying? It's like no one even attempted to review this actual entry! What's the matter, can't find anything interesting to say? But rest assured that I, the ultimate life form, will rise up to the challenge! Haha!
Now, let's see... Full beginning character roster, about time already... ...Knew that... Knew that... Neat, I guess... Knew that... Utter common sense... Don't know some of those items... Hmmm... Starting stages including two we haven't seen yet... That foolish wimp, Sakurai, apologizes for not getting all Melee stages into the game...
...Ahem. What's up with that, doc?
Wolverine says:
Listen, bub. I don't take orders from anyone, especially not YOU. When you tell me to review this CRAP, I say shove it up your--
I could've sworn something dramatic just interrupted me... Smells fishy. And not the seafood type of fishy. The kind of fishy that reeks right up your nostrils 'till you want to puke. I swear I'll get to the bottom of this. And when I find what this is all about, I'll track down whoever's responsible and... SNIKT! ...I'll cut up that piece of--
Hey... It just happened again. What the--
THURSDAY: An Announcement About Future Updateshttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/info/info05.html
THURSDAY AGAIN: Game Mode Introduction Moviehttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/various/various26.html
January 31st, 2008. Super Smash Bros. Brawl has officially gone on sale in Japan. Is everybody having fun with it?
Snot Man says:
NO, WE'RE NOT!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Enton and Psyduck say:
Psy-ai-ai!
Solid Snake says:
Fun?!
Dr. Wily says:
Absolutely not!
Toad says:
I guess not...
King DeDeDe says:
No! Guards, seize him!
XStryke says:
Huh? No.
Devilman says:
DIE.
The Wario Brothers(?) say:
WHAAAAAAAAT?!
Shadow Bugs says:
You try my patience, Sakurai.
Wolverine says:
What the heck is wrong with you?!
Masahiro Sakurai says:
Oh, sorry. I asked without thinking. But look at those modes! Look at the many modes!
Devilman says:
That's it. I'm going to destroy you.
????? says:
Not if I can help it!
Who's there?!
That's right, it's me! Dr. Wily! And Masahiro Sakurai here is my ultimate creation, Sakurai Man! His purpose was to create the ultimate game with which to brainwash all of humanity at once! I won't let you destroy him when I'm so close to my goal!
What? No! I am Dr. Wily! I'm right here!
Ohohoho! That's what you think, but you are actually just a robot I built in my image as a very convincing decoy! REAL fans would know that the real Dr. Wily would never raise a baby! Oh, and you're a robot or something too, Shadow Bugs.
I knew it!
This is utterly ridiculous!
I think I agree with Dr. Wily(?) here.
Silence! You, too, are a robot I created! Had you never noticed that your name ends in Man?
I knew it. Android. Didn't smell right.
Suddenly, space-time rips open, a time machine appears, and out steps...!
Cease this madness at once!
I am Dr. Wright, and you are sorely mistaken! It is you who is a robot that I created! And the Dr. Wily over there is an amnesic copy of you created via time travel! Sakurai Man, it's time for you to execute your true programming. Engage Ragnarok Mode!
YES, MASTER.
Okay, time out, everyone. This is getting us nowhere. Luckily, there's still one straightforward, simple way to resolve all this and let us get through the week anyway. Everyone in favor of it? Raise your hand. We all agree? Okay, then.
Suddenly, things got a lot simpler!
Munchlax, I need evidence disposed of. Now, let's all agree never to speak of this ever again.
om nom nom nom
I, the real Masahiro Sakurai, took a bathroom break without telling anyone. Did I miss anything?
Can you stay silent for a few minutes? I'm... getting a headache.
nyoro~n
FRIDAY: ?????http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/noti...B_iframe=true&height=190&width=310&modal=true
The page you are about to proceed to contains information pertaining to secret elements of the game.
Um. Guys, that might pose a problem. I have Spoileritis, you know. Seeing this page could kill me.
COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
I order to have my money's worth! Five reviews, no less!
We didn't even REALLY review Thursday. You can't end it this suddenly, or else I might get a HECKUVA ticked off.
Well, you have a point there... Hmmmm... You know, I guess we can compromise. Here's what I'll do.
MONDAY THE NEXT: Port Town Aero Divehttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/stages/stage24.html
Boy, all this talk of angles and curves gets me in the mood to watch a neck-and-neck race.
I'll be reviewing Monday's entry. But since this is the last review I'll be writing, no gimmicks this time. No fictional guest writers, no imitating Sakurai, no pretending not to notice that I'm playing the wrong game, no confusing time-travel, no talking mugshots, no Chuck Norris, no random tribute to a giant robot show almost none of my readers watch, not even an exploding car. Just me... and a big wall of text with a lot of weird tangents. Like in the good old days.
Hey, look! It's Mute City! Only not! Wait, wait, don't go away! They didn't recycle the gimmick. Not exactly! Now, the platform, in addition to flying through the tracks, can split into three! Wait, no! Where are you going? Look, um. We'll even throw in the famous stepped portion of the track! How's THAT for a deal?
...Fine! Be that way! See if I care! …Oh well.
Man, this stage is bringing back so many terrible memories. As I remember it, it wasn't a particularly hard track, but pretty much anything I associate with F-Zero GX makes me curl up into foetal position and weep a little. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that game, but it got so stupidly hard in parts that I'm still having occasionnal nightmares about it to this day. It's not all bad, though. Whenever I feel like getting extremely tense and jumpy, I just start thinking about that game and poof! I guess this is the sort of video game you have a love-hate relationship with. Throw in a bit of unresolved sexual tension and a few explosions, and we've got a summer blockbuster on our hands!
And hey! I just noticed something. Wasn't that the stage that had the giant ROB in it? Awesome! Come to think of it, I think we can see its back in one of the screenshots. ...Heeeeeey, wait. Weren't ROBs working for the Subspace Army now? Hmmmm...
All kidding aside, this looks like a pretty cool stage. The concept isn't really new, but don't fix what ain't broke, right? I didn't quite like that track's "Everything is so polluted that THE SKY IS ORANGE" aesthetic, but this is hardly Smash's fault. Plus, they had to get Port Town in eventually, complete the whole "Mute City, Big Blue, Port Town" holy trinity of F-Zero that only exists in my head. Too bad that one didn't have a really memorable and catchy themesong that I remember of...
TODAY'S RATING: Four FALCO PUNCHES out of five!
...Sniff... ...No, it's nothing. Just something in my eye.
Aaaaaand... it’s already the end. These ending credits will not be the same without a proper background music, will they? Which is why I rounded up many composers to propose those three songs to you! Hmmm... What a hard choice. Maybe you can pick at random? Or if you're not satisfied, go ahead and look for your favorite.
Pick this ending theme!
No, this one!
This one is much better, you fools!
Since ending credit songs in video games are usually very long, their runtime may not match how quickly you read the credits sequence. For this, I deeply apologize. Maybe you can try scrolling slowly...?
Okay, show's over. This place will self-destruct in five minutes. Get out of here!
AAAAAAAAAAH!
5:00
JAPAN TIME TIME
ORIGINAL CONCEPT
Snot Man
DIRECTOR
Snot Man
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR
Misumaru Yurika
4:34
Grrrr... It's no use. Even my adamantium claws can't slice through that door.
Neither can my two katanas' power combined!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! METER SMASH PUNY DOOR!
CRASH!
Will you stop yelling that?
And will you quit babbling? It worked! Now squeeze your gut in and run like everyone else!
STAGE DIRECTIONS
Hongo Takeshi
GREATEST PERSON
Miyamoto Shigeru
COFFEE BOY
Rei Amuro
3:25
Wait! Those are switches! I know those... We can only proceed if they're pressed simultaneously!
Psyduck! Enton! Do everything the other does!
*CLICK* *CLICK*
*CLICK* *CLICK*
*CLICK* *CLICK*
Great! It's open! Follow me, everyone!
DECORATION
Ritona Leeron
VIOLENCE
Kujo Jotaro
WRITER
Yagami Raito
2:57
Oh no! My worst fears have come true!... It's a bunch of Lucarios!
And they've got Gooey Bombs!
Run! I'll hold them off! I promise... that I will catch up to you later! For her sake...
Don't mind if I do!
Don't die, Mr. Bugs!
KEY GRIP
Kabuto Koji
ACCESSORIES (BATS)
Maebara Keiichi
SOUND DIRECTION
Uematsu Nobuo
1:27
--No! My bandana!
Leave it behind! The place is falling apart!
But it gives me unlimited ammo!
Look, I've got a crate full of those, now get out of here!
Wow! Maybe you two have more in common than you thought!
...
I HAVE TO MAKE AT LEAST ONE REFERENCE YOU'LL GET
Uzumaki Naruto
KEY GRIP ASSISTANT
Tsurugi Tetsuya
KEY GRIP CONSULTANT
Nagare Ryouma
0:31
Look! An airship!
And driving it, it's... Hideo Kojima?
Oh no... Not him again. He follows me everywhere since I agreed to put Snake in the game.
I don't care! Everyone! Hop aboard! We've still got a chance to make it out!
Shouldn't we wait for Shadow Bugs?
Sorry, but we're running out of time. What, do you think he'll just arrive once there's like ten seconds left before the whole place goes down? Sorry, but we're leaving!
KEY GRIP STUNT DOUBLE
Sanshiro Segata
KEY GRIP KEY GRIP KEY GRIP KEY GRIP
Shiba Hiroshi
MANLINESS IGNITION CONSULTANT
Shishioh Gai
Everyone! Don't leave yet, I'm coming! ...Guys? ...Oh, nads.
0:00
SELF-DESTRUCTION! FWOOM!
Yaaaaaaaaaaay! We all made it out safely!
SPECIAL THANKS:
JAPAN TIME TIME ALL STAFF
THE LIVEJOURNAL PALS
SUPER SMASH BLOG/SMASH NEWS ALL STAFF
SUPER MARIO CLUB
LUCIFER
...AND YOU!!
Ha ha ha! You think this is over, but not quite yet! That's right, I'm still alive! Bet you didn't see that coming, huh? And Dr. Wright was a robot I created, for the record. Anyway, I have an announcement to make! I intend to destroy the world for some reason, and you're all invited. First, I'll lure the world into a false sense of security and allow Super Smash Bros Brawl, but soon after... my grand plan will be revealed! Hope will be turned into despair for all who live and whatnot. Don't miss it!
JAPAN TIME TIME: FINAL SMASH
MARCH 2008
(Japan time)
Well, this is it, Smash fans. I'll be going on vacation until Brawl comes out in America, so it will soon be time for us to part ways. But don't cry quite yet! We still have an entry ahead, and no expense was spared to make it a memorable one!
How so, you ask? By recruiting an all-stars team of Dojo entry reviewers from throughout the world! And by "the world", I mean "the fictional world of Japan Time Time" because I have no friends and thus can't use actual human beings. They'll be teaming up with me in order to review this week's entries more thoroughly than you could ever imagine. And, best of all, this epic, once-in-a-lifeteam operation will be overseen by none other than... Masahiro Sakurai!
I'm Masahiro Sakurai of Sora, creator of the 'Super Smash Bros.' series of fighting games featuring Nintendo's most popular characters. Hello. In a way, you could say this is the ultimate Japan Time Time fanservice experience. (laughs)
That's right! Sakurai and I have settled our differences to provide you the best quality entertainment imaginable. You really won't be seeing this anywhere else!
However, some of you may not have read all Japan Time Times, or never bothered with the Back in Time entries... for those people, we've prepared special bios for each characters.
(laughs) You really went overboard this time, didn't you?
(laughs) Maybe I did. (laughs)
All right, so let's see who's here!
First appearance: Week #1
The Phase Distorter has been our companion throughout all "Japan Time Time goes back in time" entries. It allowed me to provide historical commentary, and today, I'll be using it to clarify what lines are from me and not one of our many guest writers.
First appearance: The Smash Bros. DOJO!!
Masahiro Sakurai is the director of Sora, and the man indirectly responsible for this whole madness. He's the one directing the team making Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and apparently writes all Dojo entries. He has an odd writing style. It is as-of-yet unknown wether this is his fault or that of NoA translator Nate, who may or may not be a big poophead. We've spent a lot of time doing nothing but hate this man, but for some reason he will be co-hosting this anyway. He's not actually aware of this, however.
First appearance: Week #29
The Manliness-O-Meter has appeared in various forms throughout the most recent Japan Time Times. Today, it won't be rating anything, but its manliness has been maxed out, for some reason locking it in "Chuck Norris" mode. It is a meter of few words, so don't expect it to speak much.
First appearance: Week #8
Enton and Psyduck were the original mascots of Japan Time Time. Together with the help of Solid Snake, they helped overthrow the Nerd from the First Zelda Commercial's tyrannical rule of the JTT building. Together, they can fuse into Goduck, which is several times more powerful. ...somehow. While Enton is cool and collected, Psyduck is more reckless and whimsical. Like a buddy cop duo. Neither can say anything besides their own name.
First appearance: Week #18
Solid Snake helped Goduck save the day in the first Japan Time Time Power Hour. Since then, he's held a cushy desk job in the Japan Time Time building, which was in dire need of employees and fundings.
First appearance: Week #14 (as mysterious shadow)
Dr. Wily was the evil mastermind behind the scenes of the first Japan Time Time Power Hour. He was soon after neutralized by being given the care of Baby Moses from Bible Adventures. Since then, he's been forced to temporarily abandon dreams of world domination in order to tackle the challenges of single parenthood.
First appearance: Week #21
Toad is a cheerful employee of the JTT building who served as Solid Snake's assistant of sorts for a time. After Devilman's terrible outburst, he got lost while wandering the Desert of Scavengers to look for survivors and food. He has recently reappeared, and claims that he thought the entire world had been destroyed. But that didn't really happen. He was actually just in a particularly bleak post-apocalyptic desert and the rest of the world was fine.
First appearance: Week #23
King DeDeDe has been sponsoring Japan Time Time for quite some time now. His favorite things are praises, cake and causing trouble.
First appearance: Week #24
Xstryke was a human pulled from the real world into that of video games. He has a power level beyond the limits physics would allow. Toad had him hired in the Japan Time Time Halloween Power Hour, but XStryke and his friend Steve were killed fighting the Devil in a haunted castle. Luckily, XStryke has the unique power of immortality, amongst several others.
First appearance: Week #24
Devilman is an alternate form Snot Man takes when he gets very angry at Dojo updates. He once destroyed Canada in a fit of rage, and separated from his host body in order to take over the JTT building and expand his reign of terror across the entire world. Nothing really came from that because he's an underachiever.
First appearance: Week #30 (sort of)
The Wario Brothers(?) are a duo of troublemakers who split up at some point, but were recently reunited in a particularly touching episode of Japan Time Time. Wario loves garlic and ADD microgames. Waluigi loves eggplants and tennis. Together, they cause crime!
First appearance: Week #32
Shadow Bugs is the most horrifying weapon the Subspace Emissary has at its disposal. It claims to be the ultimate life form, whatever that means. Like almost everyone here, it's a one-shot joke given another day in the spotlight.
First appearance: The Incredible Hulk #180-181
Wolverine never appeared on Japan Time Time, but you can't have an all-star hero team without awkwardly trying to fit him into it, can you?
MONDAY: Vaulthttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/various/various24.html
I’ve clearly gone overboard with Brawl.
There's nothing wrong with going overboard when it comes to Brawl! ...But clearly, you didn't go overboard with THIS UPDATE.
Now, now. There's plenty of variety, I cover much beloved topics... What's there not to like?
CRUSH!
Before you ask, yes, we Pokemon can type. And in proper english, to boot! Of course, I have to admit that we're lucky we were born with small claws and not, say, hooves, for typing with those would probably be a great endeavor. Furthermore, we have to thank the heavens above for spellchecking software. For this review, I'll have to type for the two of us, as my compatriot is suffering from a crippling headache. I am as well, but, without senselessly boasting, I've learned to endure it over the years.
Either way, this entry reminds me a lot of those clip episodes you see on long-running TV series sometimes. Occasionally, it can be a welcome break from the usual pace and help viewers remember about memorable moments while throwing in a bit of new material to keep them interested. But sometimes, they go a bit overboard. Either they make too many of those (Interesting trivia fact for anime fans: Over half of Gundam SEED Destiny is composed of clip episodes!) or don't do them right, leaving viewers with the impression that they just ate some oddly-textured microwaved leftovers of what they already had for lunch. This update here is a bit of a mix of each. Even though it bursts with content, it consists only of things that were explored more in-depth already, and worst of all, we're promised more! We already had an abysmal entry for the Options screen, and they're not done yet? Excuse me, but blech!
You idiots, what are you doing?! Haven't you noticed that, whenever I get the chance to speak for a long time, I start ranting about inaccurate science and philosophy for several minutes straight? Somebody, quick, cut me off so that I can just parrot back the last word of their sentences like I usually do!
I can handle this! Consider if you will, Solid Snake, the troubling implications of the third Stage Builder screenshot. Notice anything? That's right, Yoshi's mugshot is missing!
Missing?!
Now, what could have happened to it, you ask? Yoshi is right there, but no one is paying any attention to him. Why, it's very possible that he was a victim of... identity theft!
Identity theft?!
In today's digital age, it's child's play for a hacker to take someone's identity away. Name. Adress. Driving license. Medical records. Mii. All those things are stored on computers. As such, they can be wiped out in the snap of a finger! But what defines a man? Are we so ephemerous as to be erased from existence so simply? Where does the boundary between our identity and who we really are begin? ...Will that do?
Yeah. Thanks.
This update contains a lot of mysteries. Why doesn't Kirby wake up if there's a monster truck rolling next to him? Since when does Japan care about the Elite Beat Agents? Who is the pudgy guy with the glasses? Did someone steal Yoshi's identity? What's this about a swimming distance? What is that red fist sticker thing? But I know the answer to that last one!
In Sonic Advance, there was this Chao raising minigame thing. With the GBA connector, you could import them from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle or raise generic ones from scratch! With the rings you got in the main game, you could buy them a bunch of stuff. And fruit, too! But if you didn't have Sonic Advance, you could still import the minigame into your GBA, except that you had no way to get rings except with a lousy rock-paper-scissors minigame you pretty much had to play again and again if you wanted to get anywhere. And that red thing is the rock from that minigame!
...at least I think.
WHAT? We're gonna have to SWIM? Huh. ... Is it too late to revise my entry into this game, again? Oh yeah, and about Yoshi's mugshot. I ate it.
TUESDAY: First Songs in My Musichttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music22.html
Climb Up! And Get The Last Chance!
This is quite a nice entry with a lot of content, but there isn't a lot to review. So instead, I've decided to ask every guest reviewer which song they were the most excited about and why. I'll start by saying that I'm personally really looking forward to The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past's "The Dark World" because this is one of those games that’s just old enough for me to feel nostalgia about while still actually being cool. Because, no offense to Japan or whoever's reading this who might disagree, but when you fondly look back to memories of playing Ice Climbers, you clearly haven't actually touched the game in years.
My song choices for this game were made very carefully after surveying song popularity, using opinions submitted to the Smash Bros. web site and listening to the songs themselves. But there are also some songs I added based entirely on my own whims. Like X: Tunnel Scene. It's not on the list of initial music, but that doesn't matter. If a song is good, that’s enough for me.
MAAARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CIRCUIT!
I don't think anyone is very surprised when we say we want to hear the new arrangement to the Pokemon Main Theme.
You might've thought I'd name a Metal Gear song here, but you were wrong. I actually chose the Jungle Level theme from Donkey Kong Country because I really like making people think Naked Snake and I are the same person. ...I mean, we technically are, but not really. The legacy we pass on to our children isn't determined by our genes. The future is in the hands of the new generation now. With the Internet, the propagation of cell phones and new advancements in artificial intelligence, it's easy to lose oneself. Don't lose hope. Be free to be who you want to be. ... Oh, did I tell you about the one time I fought a guy covered in bees? Okay, that wasn't really me, but...
I choose Marionation Gear from Chosoju Mecha MG because, if you hadn't noticed yet, I enjoy robotics. Furthermore, I'm very fond of lording over you my knowledge of several languages, which allows me to play Japan-only games without problem. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...Oh, and Baby Moses chose Gritzy Desert from Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time for some reason. Maybe he likes that the game has babies in it? Who knows.
Awwww, Baby Moses took my pick. I was going to say that because it reminds me of the Desert of Scavengers, where only the strongest can survive, but only at the cost of their souls. Did you see that part in the second Star Wars movie where the guy puts Luke Skywalker inside a big furry creature so he doesn't freeze over? I did that on a really chilly night, once, but with a camel!
The obvious choice here is the Boss Theme Medley from the Kirby series. Why? Well, DUH! Major recurring boss from the Kirby series, coming through! ...What? What do you mean, my theme's not in there? GUARDS! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT! And seize them, while you're at it.
I really like Ashurii no Theimu from Sawaru Meido in Wario, because I think Ashurii (I REFUSE to call her Ashley) is a really sweet little girl that is just SO MOE. In fact, she's my girlfriend! She cast a spell once that made my katanas a hundred times stronger, and in return I saved her from Sephiroth who wanted to use her as a sacrifice. Good times. In second place, I have Shin Onigashima because it's got a cool name. I don't know what it's about but it's gotta be cool.
You know what makes me REALLY angry? What makes me want to slam my fist against a table and level a major city? Seeing that X: Tunnel Scene isn't in that list. This is an OUTRAGE! GRAAAAAAAAH! I'M GOING TO MURDER THE WORLD!
Warioware Inc.!
Waluigi Pinball!
Warioware Inc.!
Waluigi Pinball!
Warioware Inc.!
Warioware Inc.!
WALUIGI PINBALL! AND THAT'S MY FINAL ANSWER!
NYAAAAAAAAH-HAHAHAHA!
Hmph. Typical. The Wario Brothers had to go and steal the very joke I was about to use. Now, how are the Shadow and Bugs Bunny halves of myself going to argue with each other on which song to favor? How pathetic. But do not underestimate the Ultimate Life Form. I've chosen a favorite theme song that will easily outclass the rest. Star Wolf's Theme it is for me. Tremble in despair!
I'm pretty partial to "Environmental Noises" from Pikmin.
WEDNESDAY: Brawlhttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/various/various25.html
There’s no need to memorize all this, though. Uh-uh.
And Monday's "Let's look at some more menus" series continues! Only this time, we have even less stuff, and most of it is already obvious to anyone who played a previous game!
I was thinking to myself "With the game so close to release, what could I do to let the hype build up to its maximum point?" So I decided to do this and disappoint you all.
ME WANT GAME NOW!
Oh man, I can't wait 'till the game comes out. When it does, I'll always play as Meta Knight because he's the strongest. I wrote a fanfic about him once in which he got a new sword that had evil powers and he used it to defeat every one in the Smash Bros. world. And then I arrived and said "meta knight this was your special training to see if you where the strongest......now you must fight me" and then I beat him. So yeah, he's the strongest video game character of all time besides me.
XStryke, if you don't stop what you're doing this instant I'm going to throw you out the window and right into a vat of really sharp knitting needles. And then I'll run the vat over with a steamroller and melt the remains into a watch. Then I'll have DeDeDe smash that watch with a Wooden Crusher. And then I'll obliterate DeDeDe.
Okay, getting back to what I'm supposed to review... What the heck is this crap, Sakurai? Who were you writing this for, seriously? HURR DURR, I'M THE KIND OF PERSON SAKURAI HONESTLY THOUGHT WOULD READ THIS! I'VE NEVER TOUCHED A SMASH BROS GAME IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I'M SMARTS CHALLENGED AND MY FAVORITE READS ARE THE BACK OF CEREAL BOXES. I'M SO STUPID THAT WHEN I HAVE ARGUMENTS ON THE INTERNET I BRING UP HITLER ALL THE TIME. WHEN I WRITE I EITHER CAPITALIZE ALL LETTERS OR NONE OF THEM, AND I THINK THIS WHOLE PUNCTUATION STUFF WILL ONLY BE USEFUL IN SCHOOLS. IF I WERE AMERICAN AND OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE, I'D CHOOSE [someone else than King DeDeDe]! WHEN I LEAN TOO MUCH TO ONE SIDE, THE TIDES START CHANGING. WHEN I SEE PURPLE PIKMIN ON THE STREET, HE POINTS AT ME AND SAYS "LOOK AT THAT GUY, HE'S SO FAT"! MY BUTT CAN SINGLEHANDEDL-- Oh yeah, where was I at? Hold on, I need to take my pills. Bah. ..."For self-diagnosed ADD, placebo ONLY. In case of actual effect, consult your doctor."?
BULLCRUD!
I'm-a writing this!
No, I'm-a writing this!
Why do you type with an accent?
What about YOU?!
Get off that chair!
Make me!
CRASH!
Why did you just type "CRASH!"?
Didn't we have something to write?
I dunno!
How pathetic. Are those insignificant worms even trying? It's like no one even attempted to review this actual entry! What's the matter, can't find anything interesting to say? But rest assured that I, the ultimate life form, will rise up to the challenge! Haha!
Now, let's see... Full beginning character roster, about time already... ...Knew that... Knew that... Neat, I guess... Knew that... Utter common sense... Don't know some of those items... Hmmm... Starting stages including two we haven't seen yet... That foolish wimp, Sakurai, apologizes for not getting all Melee stages into the game...
...Ahem. What's up with that, doc?
Listen, bub. I don't take orders from anyone, especially not YOU. When you tell me to review this CRAP, I say shove it up your--
I could've sworn something dramatic just interrupted me... Smells fishy. And not the seafood type of fishy. The kind of fishy that reeks right up your nostrils 'till you want to puke. I swear I'll get to the bottom of this. And when I find what this is all about, I'll track down whoever's responsible and... SNIKT! ...I'll cut up that piece of--
Hey... It just happened again. What the--
THURSDAY: An Announcement About Future Updateshttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/info/info05.html
THURSDAY AGAIN: Game Mode Introduction Moviehttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/various/various26.html
January 31st, 2008. Super Smash Bros. Brawl has officially gone on sale in Japan. Is everybody having fun with it?
NO, WE'RE NOT!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Psy-ai-ai!
Fun?!
Absolutely not!
I guess not...
No! Guards, seize him!
Huh? No.
DIE.
WHAAAAAAAAT?!
You try my patience, Sakurai.
What the heck is wrong with you?!
Oh, sorry. I asked without thinking. But look at those modes! Look at the many modes!
That's it. I'm going to destroy you.
Not if I can help it!
Who's there?!
That's right, it's me! Dr. Wily! And Masahiro Sakurai here is my ultimate creation, Sakurai Man! His purpose was to create the ultimate game with which to brainwash all of humanity at once! I won't let you destroy him when I'm so close to my goal!
What? No! I am Dr. Wily! I'm right here!
Ohohoho! That's what you think, but you are actually just a robot I built in my image as a very convincing decoy! REAL fans would know that the real Dr. Wily would never raise a baby! Oh, and you're a robot or something too, Shadow Bugs.
I knew it!
This is utterly ridiculous!
I think I agree with Dr. Wily(?) here.
Silence! You, too, are a robot I created! Had you never noticed that your name ends in Man?
I knew it. Android. Didn't smell right.
Suddenly, space-time rips open, a time machine appears, and out steps...!
Cease this madness at once!
I am Dr. Wright, and you are sorely mistaken! It is you who is a robot that I created! And the Dr. Wily over there is an amnesic copy of you created via time travel! Sakurai Man, it's time for you to execute your true programming. Engage Ragnarok Mode!
YES, MASTER.
Okay, time out, everyone. This is getting us nowhere. Luckily, there's still one straightforward, simple way to resolve all this and let us get through the week anyway. Everyone in favor of it? Raise your hand. We all agree? Okay, then.
Suddenly, things got a lot simpler!
Munchlax, I need evidence disposed of. Now, let's all agree never to speak of this ever again.
om nom nom nom
I, the real Masahiro Sakurai, took a bathroom break without telling anyone. Did I miss anything?
Can you stay silent for a few minutes? I'm... getting a headache.
nyoro~n
FRIDAY: ?????http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/noti...B_iframe=true&height=190&width=310&modal=true
The page you are about to proceed to contains information pertaining to secret elements of the game.
Um. Guys, that might pose a problem. I have Spoileritis, you know. Seeing this page could kill me.
COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
I order to have my money's worth! Five reviews, no less!
We didn't even REALLY review Thursday. You can't end it this suddenly, or else I might get a HECKUVA ticked off.
Well, you have a point there... Hmmmm... You know, I guess we can compromise. Here's what I'll do.
MONDAY THE NEXT: Port Town Aero Divehttp://www.smashbros.com/en_us/stages/stage24.html
Boy, all this talk of angles and curves gets me in the mood to watch a neck-and-neck race.
Hey, look! It's Mute City! Only not! Wait, wait, don't go away! They didn't recycle the gimmick. Not exactly! Now, the platform, in addition to flying through the tracks, can split into three! Wait, no! Where are you going? Look, um. We'll even throw in the famous stepped portion of the track! How's THAT for a deal?
...Fine! Be that way! See if I care! …Oh well.
Man, this stage is bringing back so many terrible memories. As I remember it, it wasn't a particularly hard track, but pretty much anything I associate with F-Zero GX makes me curl up into foetal position and weep a little. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that game, but it got so stupidly hard in parts that I'm still having occasionnal nightmares about it to this day. It's not all bad, though. Whenever I feel like getting extremely tense and jumpy, I just start thinking about that game and poof! I guess this is the sort of video game you have a love-hate relationship with. Throw in a bit of unresolved sexual tension and a few explosions, and we've got a summer blockbuster on our hands!
And hey! I just noticed something. Wasn't that the stage that had the giant ROB in it? Awesome! Come to think of it, I think we can see its back in one of the screenshots. ...Heeeeeey, wait. Weren't ROBs working for the Subspace Army now? Hmmmm...
All kidding aside, this looks like a pretty cool stage. The concept isn't really new, but don't fix what ain't broke, right? I didn't quite like that track's "Everything is so polluted that THE SKY IS ORANGE" aesthetic, but this is hardly Smash's fault. Plus, they had to get Port Town in eventually, complete the whole "Mute City, Big Blue, Port Town" holy trinity of F-Zero that only exists in my head. Too bad that one didn't have a really memorable and catchy themesong that I remember of...
TODAY'S RATING: Four FALCO PUNCHES out of five!
...Sniff... ...No, it's nothing. Just something in my eye.
Aaaaaand... it’s already the end. These ending credits will not be the same without a proper background music, will they? Which is why I rounded up many composers to propose those three songs to you! Hmmm... What a hard choice. Maybe you can pick at random? Or if you're not satisfied, go ahead and look for your favorite.
Pick this ending theme!
No, this one!
This one is much better, you fools!
Since ending credit songs in video games are usually very long, their runtime may not match how quickly you read the credits sequence. For this, I deeply apologize. Maybe you can try scrolling slowly...?
Okay, show's over. This place will self-destruct in five minutes. Get out of here!
AAAAAAAAAAH!
5:00
JAPAN TIME TIME
ORIGINAL CONCEPT
Snot Man
DIRECTOR
Snot Man
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR
Misumaru Yurika
4:34
Grrrr... It's no use. Even my adamantium claws can't slice through that door.
Neither can my two katanas' power combined!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! METER SMASH PUNY DOOR!
CRASH!
Will you stop yelling that?
And will you quit babbling? It worked! Now squeeze your gut in and run like everyone else!
STAGE DIRECTIONS
Hongo Takeshi
GREATEST PERSON
Miyamoto Shigeru
COFFEE BOY
Rei Amuro
3:25
Wait! Those are switches! I know those... We can only proceed if they're pressed simultaneously!
Psyduck! Enton! Do everything the other does!
*CLICK* *CLICK*
*CLICK* *CLICK*
*CLICK* *CLICK*
Great! It's open! Follow me, everyone!
DECORATION
Ritona Leeron
VIOLENCE
Kujo Jotaro
WRITER
Yagami Raito
2:57
Oh no! My worst fears have come true!... It's a bunch of Lucarios!
And they've got Gooey Bombs!
Run! I'll hold them off! I promise... that I will catch up to you later! For her sake...
Don't mind if I do!
Don't die, Mr. Bugs!
KEY GRIP
Kabuto Koji
ACCESSORIES (BATS)
Maebara Keiichi
SOUND DIRECTION
Uematsu Nobuo
1:27
--No! My bandana!
Leave it behind! The place is falling apart!
But it gives me unlimited ammo!
Look, I've got a crate full of those, now get out of here!
Wow! Maybe you two have more in common than you thought!
...
I HAVE TO MAKE AT LEAST ONE REFERENCE YOU'LL GET
Uzumaki Naruto
KEY GRIP ASSISTANT
Tsurugi Tetsuya
KEY GRIP CONSULTANT
Nagare Ryouma
0:31
Look! An airship!
And driving it, it's... Hideo Kojima?
Oh no... Not him again. He follows me everywhere since I agreed to put Snake in the game.
I don't care! Everyone! Hop aboard! We've still got a chance to make it out!
Shouldn't we wait for Shadow Bugs?
Sorry, but we're running out of time. What, do you think he'll just arrive once there's like ten seconds left before the whole place goes down? Sorry, but we're leaving!
KEY GRIP STUNT DOUBLE
Sanshiro Segata
KEY GRIP KEY GRIP KEY GRIP KEY GRIP
Shiba Hiroshi
MANLINESS IGNITION CONSULTANT
Shishioh Gai
Everyone! Don't leave yet, I'm coming! ...Guys? ...Oh, nads.
0:00
SELF-DESTRUCTION! FWOOM!
Yaaaaaaaaaaay! We all made it out safely!
SPECIAL THANKS:
JAPAN TIME TIME ALL STAFF
THE LIVEJOURNAL PALS
SUPER SMASH BLOG/SMASH NEWS ALL STAFF
SUPER MARIO CLUB
LUCIFER
...AND YOU!!
Ha ha ha! You think this is over, but not quite yet! That's right, I'm still alive! Bet you didn't see that coming, huh? And Dr. Wright was a robot I created, for the record. Anyway, I have an announcement to make! I intend to destroy the world for some reason, and you're all invited. First, I'll lure the world into a false sense of security and allow Super Smash Bros Brawl, but soon after... my grand plan will be revealed! Hope will be turned into despair for all who live and whatnot. Don't miss it!
JAPAN TIME TIME: FINAL SMASH
MARCH 2008
(Japan time)
Seriously, though, R.I.P., Japan Time Time.