If I can't do it on SWF, there's no way I can do it in person one day...

[#HBC | Gorf]

Link to original post: [drupal=4857]If I can't do it on SWF, there's no way I can do it in person one day...[/drupal]



K. Let me just start off by saying it...

I'm bisexual. No, not in a "this is just a phase Gorf, you'll get over it one of these days" type of way. No, not in a "do you think you might be all the way gay?" type of way. I, first off, see love as having no gender, and secondly, am sexually attracted to both men and women. I am bisexual.

Now, why did I have that little disclaimer? Because out of the four people I've come out to in person, one (my brother) thought about the fact that it might be a phase that I'll overcome, and one (my best friend) is convinced that I'm probably gonna end up totally gay, or at least lean more toward men (personally it's an even lean when I'm comfortable, but she's the only person I talk to about guys... so I don't blame her for thinking that lol).

My true dilemma is this, and I have no gay friends irl that I feel comfortable coming out to so I'm hoping to reach out to SWF. At the same time that I'm so eager and anxious to come out, I am scared s***less to. I mean, I have lost a lot of shame in my sexuality ever since I admitted it to myself (around late July/early August of this year), but I was raised under the impression that the only thing to be is straight, and I have a crapload of friends who are under that same impression. I was born and raised a Catholic, attending Catholic private school and being made to go to church weekly until I was about 13 (I'm 17 now). So you can imagine how much of a damper non-heterosexuality had. And ultimately, I made friends with the straight guys, and a lot of my closer straight guy friends are probably the type of guys to have discomfort with a non-heterosexual close friend, even if I'm coming out of the closet after meeting them. One of my closest friends cried after his cousin came out of the closet to him. My problem is that I don't want to be in a situation where I lose the relationship I have with those people, and even though it SHOULD be a f*** them if they don't like who I am situation... it's just not. I love those certain people in a way where I just don't want to lose them... But in the end, I don't want to live this straight life anymore. I kinda just want to break free, let everybody know that I'm proud of, and love, who I am, including my sexuality. Hell, I wrote a song about coming out of the closet! I just want some serious advise from those who can possibly lend a hand, because I don't know how long I'll be able to just live like this... It kills me every day...

 

[Asdioh]

The stories I hear from people are usually "I'm terrified to come out of the closet" but when they finally do it's generally "that wasn't bad at all!"

I was born and raised a Catholic, attending Catholic private school and being made to go to church weekly until I was about 13 (I'm 17 now). So you can imagine how much of a damper non-heterosexuality had.

That sucks but they can deal with it.


oh gog should I post this here or in your DR thread

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

Probz gonna moniter the DR thread a lot more, but it's all good either way lol.

Wrt my family, I don't think my immediate family would have a big issue with it (aside from my mother maybe), but it's like everybody else on my mom's side. My dad always says I'm blessed to have my mom as my mom rather than anybody else in her family, and for good reason: they're all racist, dirty south type or stuck up... But I don't really talk to em all that much, never really liked em :|...

 

[Asdioh]

everybody seems to be bisexual these days so it won't be a big deal, trust me

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

everybody seems to be bisexual these days so it won't be a big deal, trust me

Yea, when you're a hot a** chick looking to be even hotter. I don't know a single bi dude in my school. Hell, I don't even know a bi dude at all O_O

 

[Spelt]

I know like 30.

That's obviously an exaggeration though because I don't even know 30 people.

 

[Flutter NiTE]

Link to original post: [drupal=4857] first off, see love as having no gender,

I respect ya bro.

+1 bi

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

I've seen like 4 people in total come out and I think I'm pretty good with the talk you do afterwards by now, haha.

It comes down to "It's okay as long as you don't shove it in any face. It's cool as long as you don't talk about how you like guys in public and stuff. It's cool as long as you don't talk about those fabulous new jeans you just got etc.
Most of all, and this is cliché as **** but, if your friends are really your friends, they wouldn't care.

Yes you can expect things to change. Guys start looking differently towards your actions, your parents will probably be pretty surprised etc, and hey, who blames them? It's normal. Eventually it will all settle down though.
Yes it will be hard to do and it will be hard afterwards, but eventually it will be worth it.

 

[Dooms]

Gord, you already have my opinion, even though I'm pretty dumb with this stuff XD. Brosuke has it right.

You're kind of creating yourself a lose-lose situation through your mind-set though. If you think that your friends right now are going to care about your homosexuality to the point of not being friends with you, then there isn't a way to get around that unless you keep things the way they are now. I'm not going to say that they will react perfectly, either, because I know there are people that simply don't like being around homosexuals and are extreme about it. Even if they're your friends. I don't know if that is REALLY the case with your friends, but I know there are those types of people out there. If you come out, you may very well lose those friends. If you don't, it tears you apart inside. There isn't a win in this situation :/. Are you 100% sure that those friends feel that way? How many of them have actually reacted poorly to any type of situation like this?

The best thing would be to tough it out until college. That is the best way to fix this, in my opinion. I know, easier said then done, but it really is the best thing you can do. Worst-case scenario would be you losing a few Facebook friends .

 

[:mad:]

If you're bisexual, it's no big deal then. You don't have to scream it to the world or even tell anyone really. If it comes up in conversation you can just say "Yeah, I'm straight but I like ****s sometimes." and that'll be the end of it.

Sorry if you think I'm trolling, I've just never been in that position where I feel the need to address it. Nobody ever asks if I'm straight, it's kind of just implied.

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

Oh and another important thing is don't sugarcoat it for yourself.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

 

[Lord Chair]

If it comes up in conversation you can just say "Yeah, I'm straight but I like ****s sometimes." and that'll be the end of it.

that doesnt make you gay tho

 

[Teran]

You know you don't have to come out to everyone irl.

Honestly if it's going to make life difficult then don't do it. I came out to everyone rather late, but that didn't mean I couldn't meet boys and stuff. Leading a double life like that isn't REALLY that hard.

Oh what's this, he's hanging out with a dude? He must want to have sex with him!

It's pretty easy to stay under the radar.

 

[Exceladon City]

A buddy of mine said that he just worded it as if it weren't anything bad. It isn't and you shouldn't feel ashamed of who you are because the rest of the world doesn't want to accept it.

Just do you and be happy with who you are. Which is easier said than done because people are *******s but it's totally manageable.

 

[rm88]

You don't have to tell everyone, you know. If you want to, that's okay, but just know you're not forced to. It's something you have the right to keep for yourself.

And really, people are idiots and they'll judge you regardless, no need to explain anything to them.

 

[EPsilon933]

The number of gay/bi people I've seen on/from Smashboards is still in the single digits (iirc 5). I'm avoiding bad stuff pretty well

[theory]But I have this theory
Smashers are gay
And traditional fighting gamers aren't

In trad' fighters, almost all the characters are human. What does Smash have? Brawl has 4 furries (Fox, Falco, Wolf, Lucario) and what's the most trad' fighters have? Ok, there's Bloody Roar, but those human-animals are fierce and manly. Not cutesy. The closest thing to cutesy furry in those games is like what, Felecia? So rare. Furries are gay. If you don't know about the worst about furries, you don't want to know[/theory]

 

[Glöwworm]

The number of gay/bi people I've seen on/from Smashboards is still in the single digits (iirc 5). I'm avoiding bad stuff pretty well

[theory]But I have this theory
Smashers are gay
And traditional fighting gamers aren't

In trad' fighters, almost all the characters are human. What does Smash have? Brawl has 4 furries (Fox, Falco, Wolf, Lucario) and what's the most trad' fighters have? Ok, there's Bloody Roar, but those human-animals are fierce and manly. Not cutesy. The closest thing to cutesy furry in those games is like what, Felecia? So rare. Furries are gay. If you don't know about the worst about furries, you don't want to know[/theory]

What the hell? They aren't furries. They're characters from a great game series. Or maybe I'm not too familiar with the term 'furry' but I'm sure the creators didn't create those characters with people into 'furries' in mind. That's what bugs me about this mindset when looking at Smash in another point of perspective. For example, I've seen people refer to Link as an 'elf' but they never do understand that that 'elf' is Link from LoZ and has a deeper story to him rather than just that 'elf' in Super Smash Bros. That's why people like SSB. Aside from the gameplay, they get to use their beloved video game characters from you guessed it--different video games.

 

[Skadorski]

The number of gay/bi people I've seen on/from Smashboards is still in the single digits (iirc 5). I'm avoiding bad stuff pretty well

[theory]But I have this theory
Smashers are gay
And traditional fighting gamers aren't

In trad' fighters, almost all the characters are human.

Doesn't BB count as a traditional fighter?
Because technically BB has three furries (and MvC has 2-3).
Not to mention 4 characters out of 38 is pretty low.

 

[Grim Tuesday]

I'm bi, but I never "came out" so to speak.

Sexuality just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I'm not sure why people feel the need to announce it to others if they are anything other than straight, I dunno, maybe I just grew up in a liberal environment.

 

[Pluvia]

I'm bi, but I never "came out" so to speak.

Sexuality just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I'm not sure why people feel the need to announce it to others if they are anything other than straight, I dunno, maybe I just grew up in a liberal environment.

Clearly doesn't socialise outside of the internet.

 

[Grim Tuesday]

Clearly.

10char

 

[DtJ S2n]

Gorf, that situation sucks, really don't know what to tell you. But more importantly, I would go bi for you, no homo. Get on skype more so we can talk about boys and stuff.

edit: This is one of those posts that're like "Instantly regret" but I can't bring myself to change it lmao.

 

[Supreme Dirt]

Personally I'm gay, and having a lot of trouble coming out myself, so I can feel your pain. :/

Spent my entire life doing my best to not feel anything for the guys around me, and now I'm ****ed up socially when it comes to stuff like that.

And honestly, I totally feel the whole not wanting to lose friendships. My best friends from high school who I still hang out with sometimes are in various degrees of not knowing... I guess I'm kinda just waiting for them to figure it out themselves. Though considering I've been actively (trying) to go after someone lately... I guess that's gonna be sooner rather than later.

Honestly if it's crushing you inside every day, just do it. You'll be a better man than I.

 

[Luco]

If it's killing you inside, then you should have some time to think. By this i mean, get out, find a forest or a grove of trees or a stream, somewhere where you can just be alone, and then you just... Think. or not. meditate, if you want. Sometimes, it just helps us inside to get away and think for ourselves. And who knows? maybe you'll think of something you didn't before. And of course the people on smashboards would be entirely supportive of what you do, so i'd hope.

 

[frotaz37]

Sexuality just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I'm not sure why people feel the need to announce it to others if they are anything other than straight, I dunno, maybe I just grew up in a liberal environment.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Sexual preference has a lot less to do with personal identity than a lot of people seem to think it does, imo.

 

[Teran]

I'm bi, but I never "came out" so to speak.

Sexuality just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I'm not sure why people feel the need to announce it to others if they are anything other than straight, I dunno, maybe I just grew up in a liberal environment.

It shouldn't be a big deal, but it definitely makes a difference to how people react to you and interact with you,

Also, God hates gays.

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

It shouldn't be a big deal, but it definitely makes a difference to how people react to you and interact with you,

Also, God hates gays.

This .

 

[Pluvia]

It'll most likely be better than you think. When I came out it was all positive. There was shock though, people were surprised, but nobody cared and its probably made most friendships better oddly.

Terrifying though. A website full of strangers and a disproportiantly large amount of gays doesn't compare.

 

[Teran]

Tbh Pluvia, the internet has loooooads of gay/bi people, mainly because they can be out in anonymity.

A lot more people have those sexual inclinations than people imagine, it's really quite funny. Hooking up with closet cases is awesome because if they get too clingy you can just get them to shut up by blackmailing them.

Advice for any unexperienced homos out there from one who went through a period of no conscience.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

This .

xD I know that is intended as a joke, but it could be noted that God doesn't hate gays, or rather it couldn't be said outright that he does. I don't want to get into any religious debate here, but the whole origin of that belief is the interpretation of a single line in the bible. Many people believe that it does not say that homosexuality is wrong at all. Something to look up, I suppose.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Sexual preference has a lot less to do with personal identity than a lot of people seem to think it does, imo.

That sums it up pretty well right there. The main problem with people isn't generally the fact that someone likes their own gender, it is the stereotypical personality quirks that are stapled, a result of orientation being a label. Labels are bad, there is no such thing as being subscribed under a label in the truest sense -dawns greek philosopher clothing- but merely indicates striving for that concept, creating a non-nominalism viewpoint of abstract things, as in creating a personality construct. Many people try to use criterion to figure out if someone is this or that, or say if I am this, I do these things and cannot participate in that, as if these humanly made words mean anything more than the sound of air passing our lips. Insofar as you try to be or view yourself as bisexual you are trying to be it, and by definition you are (inasmuch as you are trying) not actually bisexual. Therefore, you should not view it as some sort of phase, trait, etc. but as a state of non-being.

-Removes philosopher costume- Ahem! This is all my personal opinion at any rate, but I find it would be easier for people to think in this manner. Unfortunately, if you were to preach this convoluted shenanigans to your family, they'd probably call you a smart-a**. Your friends, like everyone knows pretty well, people will look for signals and force interpretations with this new-found knowledge, which will be a tough trial for you. It really comes down to if you think it is worth it, and it may be for if you look at the fact that once people know, you will cast a new light for which not only how you are seen, but how you see others, and you will find the most enlightened individuals in this way. Also, you will know which guys are "open" so you'll be less likely to run into those, "Is he bi/gay or straight?" or "Oh no I am in love with a straight guy..." kind of things.

Hope it goes well fellow human. ^.^

 

[Teran]

You know to be fair to gays (which is not something I'm quoted as saying often, believe me), them making a big deal of their homosexuality and the whole gay identity thing is really a direct cause of societal branding.

If the general public don't make a big deal of something, homosexuals aren't compelled to feel that they're in some sort of identity group. It's like eye colour, people aren't labelled as blue eyed or brown eyed folk as some sort of specific population, even though everyone is obviously aware of the very obvious difference between these types of people.

Ultimately sexuality should come down to the same thing, but it doesn't and never will, so I suppose gays might as well act out a little and have a field day with the curse nature set on them.

 

[PhoenixoKaZe]

I know that feeling, just be you