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How to convince parents to let me go to tournament

Gamerman5

Smash Rookie
Joined
May 1, 2018
Messages
9
Hey i am wondering how do i convince my parents to let me go to tournaments because i am really into melee and this is my hobby but my parents think it's a waste of time

And they think im too deep into playing melee when i am just practicing because i want to get gud and im pretty decent with my fox i have been playing for 2 years

Ps sorry if im typing in a confusing way
 
Last edited by a moderator:

InauspiciousPio

Smash Cadet
Joined
Aug 12, 2017
Messages
47
Location
Fresno, California
3DS FC
3308-4954-9081
I’m struggling with the same thing. I have a bad local scene though, so there arent really too much tourneys for me to go to. Is your scene any better?
 

Stride

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
680
Location
North-west England (near Manchester/Liverpool)
If you have local tournaments that are close to you then it'll be a lot easier to convince them than if you have to take like a 3 hour coach ride or something to get anywhere. Plus it depends on what degree of independence your parents allow you in general, and just generally how open-minded your parents are.

But I'd try to emphasise the social aspect of it. If they see games as a waste of time because they believe the game itself has no inherent value, then make the game incidental. And you'd be telling the truth; the social aspect is a huge part of things. In a lot of ways the game is just one of many possible methods of bringing people together and nurturing a community. I've made friends with Melee. I've gone on road trips with those friends to stay the weekend at the house of some guy I'd never even met with like 10 other Melee players for a tournament, and been totally accepted and had a great time. I went to a different country on the other side of the world where I had no friends and I was immediately able to hit up the Melee people there and hang out with them out of nowhere. I met my boyfriend through Melee.

Many gaming communities (and fighting game communities especially, which have an interesting history that explains this) have this kind of strong, pretty much intrinsic social element, and that's not something you'd expect if you're someone's dad who has never been exposed to this kind of stuff and goes into it without an open mind, with the presumption that games are just toys, you know? And if they only see you practicing alone it's easier to miss the point; you're practicing alone because you ultimately have to play someone else, as with basically all sports or any number of other hobbies.

And beyond that you could push it a bit more and say that regardless of the activity, practicing and getting good and analysing your results and competing and stuff is valuable in general. That might be a little harder to convince them of, since if they believe gaming is a waste of time they're focusing on how a game has less obvious "intrinsic" value than some other hobby such as a sport (which would improve your physical fitness). But compare it to something like art; unless you're making it big art is a hobby you're going to put a lot of time and money into just for personal pleasure, yet people are far more likely to consider that a productive hobby, despite gaming being similar, mostly just because gaming still has a stigma about it. Melee is probably cheaper than buying art supplies too lol; you just need a controller, a Wii, and a CRT you could pick up from the side of the road (I literally got mine like that), and that's it apart from travel costs. And, like art or sports, practicing Melee is a way for you to develop a lot of skills that are valuable to have as a person. The skills required to compete and think critically about yourself to improve are transferable to anything.

Melee has helped me in general. It's been an activity I can use to support myself when I'm feeling depressed or anxious (honestly, basically the only thing that kept me remotely part of reality and gave me anything to do other than lie in bed and stare into space was Melee for a while, and that really helped me get through things), and the skills I've learned to facilitate improvement have helped me both learn other things more efficiently and mindfully (it's worth specifically mentioning that it applies to schooling), and helped me deal with my mental health issues similarly.

Plus it's just fun. As long as you're balancing the rest of your life well enough that should be an argument in and of itself. If you're doing fine at school then you can afford to take this time to relax and do what you enjoy.

There are plenty of videos which express this kind of stuff that you can show them if they'll bother to watch them but I can't think of any offhand.
 
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Gamerman5

Smash Rookie
Joined
May 1, 2018
Messages
9
If you have local tournaments that are close to you then it'll be a lot easier to convince them than if you have to take like a 3 hour coach ride or something to get anywhere. Plus it depends on what degree of independence your parents allow you in general, and just generally how open-minded your parents are.

But I'd try to emphasise the social aspect of it. If they see games as a waste of time because they believe the game itself has no inherent value, then make the game incidental. And you'd be telling the truth; the social aspect is a huge part of things. In a lot of ways the game is just one of many possible methods of bringing people together and nurturing a community. I've made friends with Melee. I've gone on road trips with those friends to stay the weekend at the house of some guy I'd never even met with like 10 other Melee players for a tournament, and been totally accepted and had a great time. I went to a different country on the other side of the world where I had no friends and I was immediately able to hit up the Melee people there and hang out with them out of nowhere. I met my boyfriend through Melee.

Many gaming communities (and fighting game communities especially, which have an interesting history that explains this) have this kind of strong, pretty much intrinsic social element, and that's not something you'd expect if you're someone's dad who has never been exposed to this kind of stuff and goes into it without an open mind, with the presumption that games are just toys, you know? And if they only see you practicing alone it's easier to miss the point; you're practicing alone because you ultimately have to play someone else, as with basically all sports or any number of other hobbies.

And beyond that you could push it a bit more and say that regardless of the activity, practicing and getting good and analysing your results and competing and stuff is valuable in general. That might be a little harder to convince them of, since if they believe gaming is a waste of time they're focusing on how a game has less obvious "intrinsic" value than some other hobby such as a sport (which would improve your physical fitness). But compare it to something like art; unless you're making it big art is a hobby you're going to put a lot of time and money into just for personal pleasure, yet people are far more likely to consider that a productive hobby, despite gaming being similar, mostly just because gaming still has a stigma about it. Melee is probably cheaper than buying art supplies too lol; you just need a controller, a Wii, and a CRT you could pick up from the side of the road (I literally got mine like that), and that's it apart from travel costs. And, like art or sports, practicing Melee is a way for you to develop a lot of skills that are valuable to have as a person. The skills required to compete and think critically about yourself to improve are transferable to anything.

Melee has helped me in general. It's been an activity I can use to support myself when I'm feeling depressed or anxious (honestly, basically the only thing that kept me remotely part of reality and gave me anything to do other than lie in bed and stare into space was Melee for a while, and that really helped me get through things), and the skills I've learned to facilitate improvement have helped me both learn other things more efficiently and mindfully (it's worth specifically mentioning that it applies to schooling), and helped me deal with my mental health issues similarly.

Plus it's just fun. As long as you're balancing the rest of your life well enough that should be an argument in and of itself. If you're doing fine at school then you can afford to take this time to relax and do what you enjoy.

There are plenty of videos which express this kind of stuff that you can show them if they'll bother to watch them but I can't think of any offhand.
Wow thanks for the info
 

Bones0

Smash Legend
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
11,153
Location
Jarrettsville, MD
1. Demonstrate you can be responsible in the important areas of your life. If you come home from school and finish your homework before playing, they will probably notice that you have your priorities in order and won't perceive gaming as a threat to your future success. It's not totally unreasonable for them to be concerned since gaming stunts the growth of a lot of people in life. Feel free to leverage these tasks openly (e.g. "If I get straight A's this semester, can you take me to a tournament?").

2. Watch the Smash Doc with them to show them not only is this something you are passionate about, but it is a hyper-social environment where you are being forced to interact with others unlike PC games at home where it promotes avoiding socializing. If possible, get a friend you know into the game as well and invite him over, or find a good representative of your local scene who could come over and set a good example to your parents of how Smashers are.
 

Gamerman5

Smash Rookie
Joined
May 1, 2018
Messages
9
1. Demonstrate you can be responsible in the important areas of your life. If you come home from school and finish your homework before playing, they will probably notice that you have your priorities in order and won't perceive gaming as a threat to your future success. It's not totally unreasonable for them to be concerned since gaming stunts the growth of a lot of people in life. Feel free to leverage these tasks openly (e.g. "If I get straight A's this semester, can you take me to a tournament?").

2. Watch the Smash Doc with them to show them not only is this something you are passionate about, but it is a hyper-social environment where you are being forced to interact with others unlike PC games at home where it promotes avoiding socializing. If possible, get a friend you know into the game as well and invite him over, or find a good representative of your local scene who could come over and set a good example to your parents of how Smashers are.
already got 3 of my friends into melee also can i have a link to smash doc?
 
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Jamisinon

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Feb 9, 2018
Messages
99
Location
Tri-state
A few bonus tips: compared to most hobbies playing Melee is fairly inexpensive. I'll assume you are young, as in still in school, so the aspect of say compared to a school sport where you have to go every single time allows for more flexibility. If there is some important family event you don't have to miss it for Melee. Melee can be your #1 passion but not need to be your #1 priority. Compared to most other games the smash community is very welcoming. Not that it should be an issue anywhere but things like religion and race do not get in the way. We are all smashers who love the game and want more people to play it.
I don't know how interested your parents would be in attending the even themselves but maybe if they got a feel for the environment firsthand they might be more welcoming of it. Most video games are indeed a time such and the truth is 99% of us do not make money from it as a career. As others have pointed it attending tournaments adds a big social aspect. There is a sense of instant comradery that is rare. Heck, you could even show them this exact smashboards post. All the comments are encouraging and telling you to keep your priorities straight and be respectful. Other games' forums would prob say just tell them you are staying at a friend's house and sneak out to tournaments.
 

Gamerman5

Smash Rookie
Joined
May 1, 2018
Messages
9
A few bonus tips: compared to most hobbies playing Melee is fairly inexpensive. I'll assume you are young, as in still in school, so the aspect of say compared to a school sport where you have to go every single time allows for more flexibility. If there is some important family event you don't have to miss it for Melee. Melee can be your #1 passion but not need to be your #1 priority. Compared to most other games the smash community is very welcoming. Not that it should be an issue anywhere but things like religion and race do not get in the way. We are all smashers who love the game and want more people to play it.
I don't know how interested your parents would be in attending the even themselves but maybe if they got a feel for the environment firsthand they might be more welcoming of it. Most video games are indeed a time such and the truth is 99% of us do not make money from it as a career. As others have pointed it attending tournaments adds a big social aspect. There is a sense of instant comradery that is rare. Heck, you could even show them this exact smashboards post. All the comments are encouraging and telling you to keep your priorities straight and be respectful. Other games' forums would prob say just tell them you are staying at a friend's house and sneak out to tournaments.
Ok thx bro :)
 
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