How Does One Get Over Fear of Losing?

Uffe

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#1
I hope this is the correct spot for this topic. I've had a fear of losing for a long time now that it makes me not want to play this game anymore, because it would be easier to give up rather than try to get better. Sometimes when I play, I don't have fun, because I hate losing. Who doesn't? I want to keep playing Smash 4, but sometimes I look for reasons not to, and by doing so, I know I won't get better at Smash. How do you get over your fear of losing? Or how can I?
 

Luigisama

Smash Champion
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#3
It's almost silly if you think about it. Like you lose and then what? You think everyone else is going to embarrass you, but in reality you embarrass yourself. Finding shame in your loss. Know you have your limits and look past the lost. Learning from your lost is the best thing you can do. That way you'll either not lose as much or never lose again.

Also seems like you might have a mental block in improving. Look to innovate your playstyle and if you find yourself unable to get in. Just do option coverage and eventually you'll create opportunities to punish.
 

SmolNozomi

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#4
Just want to add in, i've been playing smash for a lengthy amount with DDD and secondaries. The question is, how do you not feel like the utter garbage you are, when you get juggled by Cloud, made a fool by Sonic, watching Falcons perfect pivot all over the place, and being reduced to a punching bag with Megaman, etc.
I seriously think my blood heats up everytime I see those people. Should I get that checked?
 

BSP

Smash Legend
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#5
I hope this is the correct spot for this topic. I've had a fear of losing for a long time now that it makes me not want to play this game anymore, because it would be easier to give up rather than try to get better. Sometimes when I play, I don't have fun, because I hate losing. Who doesn't? I want to keep playing Smash 4, but sometimes I look for reasons not to, and by doing so, I know I won't get better at Smash. How do you get over your fear of losing? Or how can I?
Why are you losing? Do you know why?

What exactly about losing scares you?

To me, a loss is clear indication that there is something in my game I still need to work on. Of course, this is likely still the case even when I win, but a loss makes it obvious that said issue is critical and should be addressed.

While I do try to avoid losses, they do not scare me in the slightest for this reason.
 

Haruka Ishijima

Female Senior Citizen Smasher
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#6
Let me answer this and be on my way: just live through it. On the road to improvement one should expect a lot of losses. You cannot avoid it; you cannot get around it. Failure is never desirable and it will frustrate the **** out of anybody. Now, I am pretty certain everyone on these forums have had those days. It just sucks.

I am a 56-year-old female Smasher who has not attended college since graduating in the class of 1979 because of my distate for language arts classes (however I maintained my education level by myself). Since the mid-1960s I've gone to church and listened to gospel to stay encouraged and not let my fear of losing weigh me down.

Let me tell you something, honey: every loss you take is a learning experience. Inasmuch as one will not stop losing for good, there will always be learning experiences.

However wallowing in fear and self-doubt won't help you get where you want to be. Once again, you either push through it or give up entirely thinking it's hopeless. More than anything else, stop caring about what others think and just focus on having fun. If you are focusing too much on wins/losses, there really is no use in continuing to play.

Sayonara :kirby:
 
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Nemesis561

Smash Apprentice
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#7
Just want to add in, i've been playing smash for a lengthy amount with DDD and secondaries. The question is, how do you not feel like the utter garbage you are, when you get juggled by Cloud, made a fool by Sonic, watching Falcons perfect pivot all over the place, and being reduced to a punching bag with Megaman, etc.
I seriously think my blood heats up everytime I see those people. Should I get that checked?
If you’re gonna play a character like DDD you just have to understand that you are at a severe disadvantage especially vs top tiers like Cloud and Sonic. It sucks but if you are invested in winning you have to pick up a better character either as a main or for counterpicks.
 

SmolNozomi

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#8
If you’re gonna play a character like DDD you just have to understand that you are at a severe disadvantage especially vs top tiers like Cloud and Sonic. It sucks but if you are invested in winning you have to pick up a better character either as a main or for counterpicks.
Fun, I can wait to get good with Mari- oh wait I main him as well. Yet I still lose.
This is why I like smash
 
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#9
Experience and acceptance of your own strengths and weaknesses. Continuing to perform in spite of your results.

Believe it or not, the online Smash community is full of "jims". These idiots may say mean things on social media, but pay no attention to them. YOU are accountable for what you do, not them. Focus on your own self-improvement and the rest will come. Develop your own style and pick the character you enjoy the most. Don't worry about asking for help, because good members of the community will happily aid you.
 

Baby_Sneak

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#10
I hope this is the correct spot for this topic. I've had a fear of losing for a long time now that it makes me not want to play this game anymore, because it would be easier to give up rather than try to get better. Sometimes when I play, I don't have fun, because I hate losing. Who doesn't? I want to keep playing Smash 4, but sometimes I look for reasons not to, and by doing so, I know I won't get better at Smash. How do you get over your fear of losing? Or how can I?
What’s there to be scared about losing? You’re not really losing anything (you still have your money, legs, arms, eyeballs, private parts, brain, family, etc...). You’re not even losing time, because a lose is a sign that you need to change something. It’s time well-spent.

You should actually be scared of not losing because this is a sign that you’ll stagnate and not progress. You should welcome a loss with open arms.

Just want to add in, i've been playing smash for a lengthy amount with DDD and secondaries. The question is, how do you not feel like the utter garbage you are, when you get juggled by Cloud, made a fool by Sonic, watching Falcons perfect pivot all over the place, and being reduced to a punching bag with Megaman, etc.
I seriously think my blood heats up everytime I see those people. Should I get that checked?
Fun, I can wait to get good with Mari- oh wait I main him as well. Yet I still lose.
This is why I like smash
You need to tap further into DDD if you want to overcome your MUs. using any character demands significant time spent, low and bottom tiers sooooo much more. You need to know DDD like he was the steps to being a multi-billionaire. If you truly want to get really good with DDD, you gotta put in the hours into him.

Man, PM me and I can tell you some more stuff, but I gotta go.
 

SmolNozomi

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#11
You need to tap further into DDD if you want to overcome your MUs. using any character demands significant time spent, low and bottom tiers sooooo much more. You need to know DDD like he was the steps to being a multi-billionaire. If you truly want to get really good with DDD, you gotta put in the hours into him.

Man, PM me and I can tell you some more stuff, but I gotta go.
Sure, i've known DDD greatly, 1827 hours in with him. I know the basics, his broken hitboxes, gordo combos, d-throw combos, shield breaks, how to succ, and dash attack edge guards, and etc. It's when i'm against the people that should be in the tournaments that I get the feeling of being useless and hating myself. (Mario, Sonic, Falcon, Marth, Cloud, Bayo, etc)
Sure, the problem is that I main one of the bottom of the barrel tier characters, but hey, at least when I do beat them, I have to satisfaction of winning with a character that sucks. Like from the King himself:
 

Baby_Sneak

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#13
Sure, i've known DDD greatly, 1827 hours in with him. I know the basics, his broken hitboxes, gordo combos, d-throw combos, shield breaks, how to succ, and dash attack edge guards, and etc. It's when i'm against the people that should be in the tournaments that I get the feeling of being useless and hating myself. (Mario, Sonic, Falcon, Marth, Cloud, Bayo, etc)
Sure, the problem is that I main one of the bottom of the barrel tier characters, but hey, at least when I do beat them, I have to satisfaction of winning with a character that sucks. Like from the King himself:
That’s a mental thing. Just remember characters are just your weapons; it depends on who’s using them that really matters at the end of the day. Just remember that.

Okay, if you really plugged in all those hours, then try this out:

Take a break from DDD and solely use another character, like one of your mains, for a couple of weeks or so. Then come back to DDD.

You’ll be taught more on how to play the game, instead of just how to play DDD.
 

SmolNozomi

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#14
That’s a mental thing. Just remember characters are just your weapons; it depends on who’s using them that really matters at the end of the day. Just remember that.

Okay, if you really plugged in all those hours, then try this out:

Take a break from DDD and solely use another character, like one of your mains, for a couple of weeks or so. Then come back to DDD.

You’ll be taught more on how to play the game, instead of just how to play DDD.
Okay, I'll train more on MGaW
 

Crystanium

Smash Hero
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#15
Why are you losing? Do you know why?

What exactly about losing scares you?

To me, a loss is clear indication that there is something in my game I still need to work on. Of course, this is likely still the case even when I win, but a loss makes it obvious that said issue is critical and should be addressed.

While I do try to avoid losses, they do not scare me in the slightest for this reason.
You played against Uffe with your Pac-Man against his Ness. He was using the tag "Mind's Eye". It's so cool to see someone you've played against on the same message board you go to.

Aside from that, good reply.
 

origamiscienceguy

Smash Apprentice
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Messages
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#16
Dude, I only play jigglypuff, and it took 1.5 years of getting bodied until I won my first tournament set. I went in expecting to lose, but trying to win. At first, I had the mentality that eventually I would be “owed” a victory, but that just made me play and practice worse. I quickly learned to shut out that mentality, and try to go into each set learning something. Learn what works and what doesn’t in a specific matchup, try reading my opponent, and punishing, etc.

When I won my first tournament set (against a Rosalina/mario) i felt like I deserved it completely. I had labbed out combos on luma, and used them several times in the match. So don’t go in expecting to win, go in expecting to learn. Then the winning will eventually come on its own.
 

Uffe

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#18
I want to thank all of you for your responses to my plight. It's all nothing but positive feedback, and I really appreciate all of you who replied for encouraging me. Thank you all for your help. Some questions you guys and gals asked made me start to question why I hadn't asked myself these things.
 

NotAnAdmin

Smash Journeyman
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Messages
426
#19
In reality, I think no one "gets over" the fear losing.
If you feel like losing is no big deal, you won't play as best as you should. It's better to just put those feelings in the back burner and focus on playing.
Working on confidence is different for every person, so one thing won't work for everyone.

In the past, what worked for me is just "putting myself in the hotseat" as I call it. Basically, if you are more used to being in a tourney environment, the better you can perform.
 

DoJ

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jan 3, 2018
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Chicago
#21
Just want to add in, i've been playing smash for a lengthy amount with DDD and secondaries. The question is, how do you not feel like the utter garbage you are, when you get juggled by Cloud, made a fool by Sonic, watching Falcons perfect pivot all over the place, and being reduced to a punching bag with Megaman, etc.
I seriously think my blood heats up everytime I see those people. Should I get that checked?
I get over that via two means-

a). Accepting that my opponent is more talented in who and how they play and making the whole thing a learning experience.
or b). By accepting that I play a generally lower tier character and need to optimize their strengths while minimizing their weaknesses.

Often I get irritated by the same things you do, especially when it seems like their fighting style is just a crude exploitation for combos, but by learning how to effectively deal with their playstyle, it won't matter because you'll then have the upper hand. But that's just my two bits.
 

KirinKQP

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Mar 31, 2017
Messages
224
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Springfield, Ohio
#23
People smell fear when you play against them. If you don't like to play better players because you know you'll lose, then try to find people who are generally the same as you or worse and beat them up. They might have the mindset that they want to get better and will fight anyone a lot to practice which is as you may get comfortable playing against them and how to use your character.

That, or keep playing and if you lose just try not to react at all and brush it off; suppress it.
 

SmolNozomi

Smash Cadet
Joined
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Messages
72
#24
Does anyone know what's the deal with this issue? So you lose, you strive to improve yourself, have fun as it's just a game, and take the loss with stride, but there's that part of you that makes you feel like trash and chastises you for the poor excuse of a smash player you are.(Not just maining a bad/low tier, just a smash player overall) Anyone know what's that all about?
 
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Djoek

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jan 11, 2018
Messages
5
#25
You should just stop caring about what others will think of you and play the game for yourself. Focus on improving, not on winning to show yourself to others.
I kinda had this, but just attend a couple of locals you'll see improvement (also train with friends!)
 

origamiscienceguy

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#26
Talk to someone who was watching the set, a friend, or even your opponent. Ask what you should do in that particular matchup, ask what stupid decisions you made too many times, etc. you are not perfect. Nobody expects you to be. Often, if you have something to work on, it makes you feel better because you know definitively what you need to do to do better next time.
 
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#30
Tournaments will really help. Just be careful that they are some players who may still give the same responses you have already said.
 

PK Bash

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#33
Do you know what it means to win?
Someone else had to take a loss to make your win happen.
So this is going to be a bit raw but, one day, you'll thank me for it: if you're prepared to give out losses but not prepared to receive them, then I'm afraid you just need to get over yourself. I don't want to be brusque, but there is no other way to word this.

You said it yourself, sir - nobody likes losing. You don't, I don't, nobody who posted in this thread likes losing, the people you beat in tournament or in casual matches - they also don't like losing.

And if you're willing to give them a loss, you need to be willing to take a few yourself.

Sure, the problem is that I main one of the bottom of the barrel tier characters, but hey, at least when I do beat them, I have to satisfaction of winning with a character that sucks. Like from the King himself:
I appreciate the image is tongue-in-cheek but everything I said above applies to you, my good man. Enjoy your wins, but don't forget how the other guy will feel too. Empathy matters, especially when you start going to tournaments and playing people face-to-face.

---
I'm not trying to say anyone should feel bad about winning. I sure as hell don't. But I also don't forget what my win means for the guy who just made it possible.
When you understand this dynamic, losses are much easier to swallow. Especially when taken with what others have already said. At the end of the day, you have nothing of value to lose, nothing really to prove. This ain't some Yugioh shadow duel. The worst thing that can happen to you after a loss is you let it get you down and affect your enjoyment of the game. If you don't let that happen, there are so many benefits you can pull from losing a game or even a set.

Other people have touched on this, but I want to reiterate it: don't tunnel vision on winning because when you do, winning becomes empty and playing the game just becomes not fun. It should never be like that. The Smash community really is something amazing. Winning tournaments and being recognised as "good" is nice, don't get me wrong, but there is so much more that matters here, and unfortunately, a lot of people forget that these days in their quest to be PR'd or notable or some whack goal like that.

---
I nearly didn't my thoughts on this topic because a lot of people don't like hearing them, but I figured you're a mature enough guy to not get offended by anything I had to say, + nobody's touched on my main point and I genuinely think it's important. I really hope that myself and the other posters here have helped you out with this, great advice has been left here and I'm glad that this thread will be useful for many more people.
 

Jaruto

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#34
My past few weekly's i've been to i've lost 0-2, and 0-2 out of bracket, but that doesn't mean it's not a fun time for me, i get to talk to my opponents after i get destroyed and i feel like im improving slowly, i went 1-2 on my first game at my weekly a few days ago and nothing has felt better, even though I lost, I know that i've improved and i'll continue to do so over time. Have fun with it, make every read, every combo, every successful mixup its own victory. Keep your goal of winning in your mind but if you lose have fun figuring out how you'll improve the next time, or even just lose less hard than usual, and if you lose again, do the same thing,
It's a game, treat it as such
 

SmolNozomi

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#35
Try telling them about mkleo, or sonicfox. Or tell them that you can make money if you win.
lmao "You can't make a living off video games," they said
Plus, I still have academics to attend to
Also, I got banned for 1 month of video games for not doing stuff that actually matters to my life
 
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#36
Sounds like me, getting banned from video games since they do not understand it. Well at least you tried. I read an article on kotaku and have watched/read a interviees of players in different games who only got their parents support once the money started rolling in.

Hopefully you can get a friend orva trustworthy member of the community to carpool you to an event.
 

SmolNozomi

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#37
Okay, lets get this cleared out.
I will never go out to a smash tournament until I either graduate college, or get a solid job.
Parents have already influenced my mind with "video games are a privilege/side activity," so I can't really convince them unless "special requests" are made.
Also, if I ever get into a tournament, what will I ever get out of there?
Don't say "learning how to get better/experience" because that happens to me everyday I play FG
I MAIN ****ING DEDEDE FOR SAKURAI'S SAKE.
There will be at least one Cloud and Bayo, and I GUARANTEE you that I will get my *** kicked by them.

And then they will say this "Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character.Main a better character." ETC.

All my friends who play smash have much better lives than me, like having actual hobbies and activities to attend to, so their skill is way below me, who lives under the basement playing this game for my life.

TL;DR: I cannot no matter what go to tournaments, I suck because of my stubborness, both in smash and in real life, and my friends are superior in everything else expect smash
 

SmolNozomi

Smash Cadet
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#38
Also let my rephrase my OC.
My problem is not that I fear losing, nor is it getting mad at the game/player.
The problem is that everytime I lose, or mess up, both in-game and in real life, the feeling of "You suck at this game" grows.

"Trash"
"Why do you still play this game?"
"You could be doing better things right now, you little piece of ****"
"No wonder your parents hate you when you do this"
"10 hours and you still haven't learned the match up? Amazing."
"STOP PLAYING THIS GAME YOU MENTALLY RETARDED TUMOR!"
"Perhaps suicide IS the option to stop..."
"What type of person is smart, funny, and is a great all-around? Everyone but you"
"WHY DO YOU SUCK? MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR IMPAIRED BRAIN!"
"Why don't you stop this whining and see your Psychiatrist? You have her for a reason"
"I give up"

All of this builds up in my mind.
Any words?
 
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#39
I play Lucas and consider him a low tier if that helps. Probably because I do not focus on tier lists and rather my own play.

As for improving in smash when not able to attend tournies, you can watch vods, take notes, an analyze other Dedede matches from their discord server.

You can take notes on them, add them to your own, and share them with the person you analyzed them with.

I have not been able to attend tournies since 2016 and that is what I have been doing to stay relevant.

Then I add in practice whenever I can and practice new tech or charts that pop up im the server.
 

SmolNozomi

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#40
*Goes to Discord
"This Website is part of the blocklist"

IT JUST KEEPS ON GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!

And don't say you're main is a low tier.

NO ONE CAN BE LOWER THAN DEDEDE!
IF YOU MAIN DEDEDE, YOU'RE STILL BETTER THAN MY DEDEDE! SO CLEANSE THOSE WORDS FROM YOUR KEYBOARD AND MOUTH
Don't believe me? I get bodied by Lucas and Dr. Mario nearly every time i'm up against them.
I just can't play smash correctly.
_________________________________________
Thanks for the advice though
 
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