Note: This is satire and not mean't to be taken seriously
EVO 2019 is just two weeks away but unfortunately we’ve already past the patch cut-off point, that’s right, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate won’t have Hero at EVO this year...
Or will it?
Smashboards has received information from several anonymous sources. We know exactly when Hero is going to join the world of Smash. You might be wondering how we know that, and trust us, we’re just as surprised as everyone else. Believe it or not, we have the script for EVO 2019 and we finally got permission from our sources to share the details.
- All sets except Grand Finals will be played on version 3.1.0. of Smash Ultimate.
- The Grand Finals is between Gavin “Tweek” Dempsey and Leonardo “MKLeo” Perez, game 1 is still on version 3.1.0.
- Tweek will lose game 1, but Super Smash Bros. series director Masahiro Sakurai will get on the stage right before game 2 is about to begin.
- Sakurai will turn off the Nintendo Switch they’re playing on and then bring out a new one.
- He’ll turn on this Nintendo Switch, it has version 4.0.0. installed and Hero will be on the character select screen.
- MKLeo will continue playing Joker but Tweek will switch to Hero and win every game against MKLeo from this point.
- If anyone goes off-script they will receive a two thousand dollar fine.
- Sakurai is slated to pull out a microphone after the game is over and tell the audience that they too can win supermajors with the power of Hero.
- He’ll then announce that Hero will be available for download on the eShop within ten minutes.
- The eShop will experience outages immediately after that.
- A trailer for the 4.0.0. update will play and give us a quick overview about the patch and Hero’s moveset.
- Every time players lose to a DLC character online they will now be reminded that they can purchase them if they haven’t already.
- Home-Run Contest will be added to the game alongside what they call an “even more beloved mode”: Smash Tour.
- Half of the world’s replays will be gone because everyone forgot to turn them into videos.
- If Hero has 100 MP and is over 100% he can use his final smash regardless of the rules.
- Hero’s hurtbox doesn’t really match his model.
- Hero’s up smash hitbox is a bit questionable.
- Hero’s forward smash can kill an optimally DI-ing Bowser from Final Destination’s center at 34% and seems slightly overtuned.
Artist’s rendition of Hero’s forward smash hitboxes and frame data taken directly from the script.
Personally, we can’t wait to play as Hero and see all this unfold at EVO 2019!
Author’s Note: Are you excited for Hero? What do you think of his forward smash? Let us know in the comments below!