Convincing Your Parents to Let You Travel to OOS's - a short guide.

[hungrybox]

I made this thread a while back. Hopefully it could still help some people out.

hungrybox how were you able to convince your parents to let you go to really far away tournies =/

Blackmail.

LOL! J/k

Well, my dad's not around, and convincing my Mom was...well...I can't really remember how I did it...I got A's and B's in AP classes on my report card, and I did chores and stuff...

But the main thing is talking with your parents...Think about why they wouldn't let you go. Imagine your son telling you he wants to travel across the country to go to an event that you aren't even sure exists, or is sponsored, or is run by good, noncriminal people, etc.

So you want to start with proof. An OOS (unless you travel a lot, which most of us don't) should never be your first tournament. It should be like, your tenth or twentieth in my opinion. Why? Because by then your mom or dad (obviously knowing that you go to tournaments often) will know that your have a passion or at least an interest in the game and its friendly subjects at tournaments.

Show your mom or dad the website of the tournaments, and pictures of the venue, or at least the thread. Traveling far should only occur for OOS's, which often have websites, pictures, etc. If your parents are really icky, they can call the phone of the host, who usually is willing to answer any questions.

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T ASK PERMISSION TO TRAVEL A WEEK BEFORE! Last minute assurance is horrible. Like talking about a fragile issue with someone, start out slow, like saying, "you know how I go to these gaming tournaments, right? Well, there's a national one that's going to happen in a few months..." Or start out with the friendly, "What would you say if I told you that I wanted to fly or travel to an OOS tournament?" Make deals and do favors, people. I know, these phrases are probably horrible and are probably not even the ones I used.

But you know your parents better than I do. You know how to talk to them, and how to say the right things. Begging and whining is a no, it just shows desperation, which shows immaturity. Your parents want to see maturity if you are going to travel alone or with other smashers.

Flying to Event 52 was my first OOS by plane, and my 2nd OOS overall. It wasn't just like, "Mom, I'm flying to Kansas tomorrow," and then, "Bring a sweater!" No. Address them early, and look for good times to talk with them about it. Try making good accomplishments, and work around those to get permission to go. When there was a major tournament down here, FAST1, my mom came to drop my brother off, and it was her first time seeing a major gaming tournament. She told me afterwards (in spanish),

"This is more than just brain-dead teenagers playing for hours to get money...this is a community of life and vibrant people."

​

Maybe it takes your parents actually seeing what a tournament is like to convince them. Maybe they are just ignorant to the fact that this is an amazing community. Whatever the cause, respect their initial opinion, and over time their minds will change as long as you say the right things.

PS i love this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwinvxsih-E&feature=related

 

[odinNJ]

Too bad my parents wouldn't let m go anyway. Thank god im goin to college after next year

 

[azianraven]

Also helps if your family has $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

[Stevo]

Try to find a friend your parents know and have met to go with you. That can help as well.

 

[standardtoaster]

This is a pretty good topic. I remember that the first tourney I went to (Eau Claire Sucks at Smash 2), my mom treated it like it was a party and not a tournament. She made me bring a cooler filled with drinks and asked who was bringing the chips. I'm glad she realizes what tourneys are like now and is fine with me traveling to them.

 

[stabbedbyanipple]

Good thread. This hits close to home since my parent were really over protective of me fOr the first couple years I played

Did stuff really similar to this to convince my parents to let me go I genesis/pound 4.

 

[rjgbadger]

. She made me bring a cooler filled with drinks and asked who was bringing the chips.

that sounds an awfully lot like complaining to me. don't complain about your mom being the 'free drink' mom, my mom is in prison

 

[standardtoaster]

I didn't make it out to be complaining. I was just stating what she made me do because she didn't understand what tournaments were actually like, so she related it to something she already knew about. Sorry about that. :/

 

[rjgbadger]

no worries, hell, at least i always know where she is.

I was however surprised when my pops let me drive out to genesis 2, he knows almost nothing about smash other than i get high and play it most days lol

 

[Bones0]

Tournaments need more people bringing free food, but I can imagine a mom making it weird with something like that. lol


I just didn't tell my parents when I went to my first OoS tournament. Then I went to a 5-day smashfest, and after 2 days they realized I was probably not where I said I was. They demanded I come home immediately, so naturally I just ignored them and stayed at the venue for 3 more days (Crimson's Smash House: best tourney evar). Then I got to come home to their awkward realization that I'm an adult and I'm gonna do whatever the **** I want. :D

 

[Achilles1515]

^^ Boning your parents like a boss

 

[Stevo]

^^ Boning your parents like a boss

I'm not sure what kind of reaction I am supposed to have to that statement.

 

[Sizzle]

If you play and aren't able to drive yet, I'd recommend getting your normal ride to the tournament to come over to your place and play some games on a semi regular basis. Have that person meet with your parents so they get an idea of who you are playing with and who else will be attending the tournament. For my first OOS tourney, my eventual ride to that tournament came over and played a few times before hand. I approached my parents a month before hand and told them my plans and how I was going to go with someone they had already met several times, and who had taken me to previous tournaments. I was also about to to turn 18, so I explained how I was going to be an adult and I was mature enough to go, etc. I think if you approach them respectfully, and have good reasons why you should go and can handle yourself, it goes a long way.

 

[S l o X]

My first tournament was Pound 4 and it was solely because of how awesome Bolt was.

My mom and dad didn't really mind as long as I was safe and they gave me the money to go despite financial problems. One of these keys was doing well in school and having them meet the people you play with (unless you play with some shady *** *****s). For me, my parents rather me play video games as a hobby and travel with friends often than go outside in the terrible neighborhood I live in.

 

[unknown522]

Lol. I'm like: "mom I'm going out k bye".

Also hbox's mom speakin a Spanish?

Ay-carumba

 

[weon - X]

yo ryan answer your facebook pheggot.

and yeah who asks for permission anymore?

i dont tell anybody where im going. including leaving the continent

 

[♡ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♡]

I want to learn to travel out of shield

 

[Slhoka]

That's a very useful thread.
Overall, it's a matter of trust between you and your parents. You have to show them you know what you're doing, and that you.

In my opinion, one of the things that most people don't do is that they don't talk about the game, and why they play it. Worse, some people are even ashamed to talk about it. I know some friends who don't tell their parents they are going to tournaments, and say instead they go to parties. I find it quite sad, because if you put it the right way, and assuming that your parents are not totally close-minded (<== most common john, not legit most of the time), you will not only get their approval but sometimes help.

One of the first thing to do is to show your interest for tournament. If you're watching a stream don't try to hide it like some people do. Most often, your parents will ask what you're doing : just tell them that it's a really big tournament of the game you play, taking place in the neighbour state/other region/country. You get major bonus points if a friend of yours is there, as you can say you want to know how your usual opponent is doing. Streams are much better nowadays : better quality, more professional, good commentaries without cursing (shoutouts to VGBootcamp among others, and especially to Fro and Wobbles who did a remarkable job at FC and seem to do the same at BH2), so that's something you can show.

The other main thing is what Sizzle said : your parents need to see actual people. If you can, tell some of your friends to come play at your home. Bonus points if they are easy-going people who'll can have a decent conversation if your parents initiate it, or TOs who can explain how a tournament is hosted.
This is what makes the difference between the thought of you playing games with other unknown people or with this (theses) guy(s) they have seen and who seem(s) to be a good kid.

And then, when you go to a tournament (even a local one), tell them a bit about it. Show you had a good experience. If some attendants come from far, say it. If you say "It was nice, I got to meet the guys from AZ, they are really cool.", it shows that other people are travelling from far to do this, but also that it wasn't only about the game, but also that there is a social interaction. If there was a fantastic upset, say it, it will show the competitive aspect of the game, and that's always a plus.
If someone took decent pictures of the event, show them to your parents if they ask how it was. Same with videos.

TL;DR : Communication is the key. Show your parents that how and why you play this game. Show them that it's not only a bunch of "brain-dead teenagers" as hbox's mom put it, but some people who may come from a totally different background or have a totally different culture, but who share the same passion.

Oh, and just as hbox said, show that you can plan something well. And if you go to a tournament far from your place, or if you just feel that your parents don't feel to well about that, there are a few simple things to do, like calling them to say you arrived and that everything is fine.

I used to do many of the things I just wrote, as well as what hbox said, and it turned out to work well. Nowaday, my parents usually help me bringing TVs when I'm hosting a tournament, and they are actually the ones who ask me in which region/country I'm gonna go next time. They are also fine with housing pretty much anyone at any moment, even if that's a smasher I've never met. Sometimes, they even randomly ask how Armada/Aniolas/Amsah or some others are doing.

As long as you communicate well, you can show pretty much any occupation under a favourable light. That includes Smash, and your parents can be a great help, so make your best to use it.

 

[Rockenos]

An enemy thread is legendary!

Good thread though, very informative with a few laughs from the comments

For me, going with friends my parents know (who have parents that can/will talk to mine about it) helps a lot.
If I have the money (or most of it), they'll let me go. Unless I do something mad stupid to piss them off

 

[Tee ay eye]

my first OOS tournament was UCLA4 when i was 14

i asked my mom if i could go
and she said yes

i didn't really contribute much to this thread

 

[KrIsP!]

I haven't told my parents about the tournaments. I'd ratehr just say I'm going downtown with friends and if I ever go to a national I'll just say I'm going on vacation with friends. I'm a good liar so I'll have a story ready when I come back.

 

[CableCho57]

my first OOS tournament was UCLA4 when i was 14

i asked my mom if i could go
and she said yes

i didn't really contribute much to this thread

I could totally imagine Marshall making that face as he says this haha

 

[Van.]

lolol

ya'll have some nice *** parents

my dad has asked of the smash community: "So, do you know even one of those people that aren't complete ****-ups?"

"Everybody at these tournaments, they're addicts."

can't expect much more from a ******* who thinks obama was born in kenya

you get what you pay for

 

[Bones0]

LOL My dad says the second one all the time.

 

[InternetDramaOhNoes]

This is a pretty good topic. I remember that the first tourney I went to (Eau Claire Sucks at Smash 2), my mom treated it like it was a party and not a tournament. She made me bring a cooler filled with drinks and asked who was bringing the chips. I'm glad she realizes what tourneys are like now and is fine with me traveling to them.

Aww, this is kind of amazing.

My parents always warned me that people I talk to online could be kidnappers and pedophiles so I never even asked them. I just started going during college.