Anti-Joke Thread

[Rabbattack]

Q:How do you stop a baby from crying?

A:Hit it with a brick.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

A:He got it by a bus.

Q:What is red and smells like blue paint?

A:Red paint.

Q:What's green and has wheels?

A:Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Q:Why was six afraid of seven?

A:It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

 

[SuperBowser]

I still remember my granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket.

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

 

[Rabbattack]

How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

 

[R0Y]

I still remember my granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket.

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

I hope to die quietly in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

 

[finalark]

A horse walks into a bar.

It says nothing because it is an animal. It is overwhelmed and confused by its surroundings and promptly leaves.

 

[Rabbattack]

Why did the boy fall off the swing?
He had no arms.

 

[Crazc]

Why did the boy fall off the swing?
He had no arms.

/stolen joke *cough*

 

[Rabbattack]

/stolen joke *cough*

Lol, I forgot you already said dat. I've heard this joke many times before and it's imprinted in my head.

 

[Chizam]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "My wife has terminal cancer."

 

[Lore]

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.

 

[IsmaR]

A man came into a clinic complaining of a bum leg he got outside.

The sanitation department was called to properly dispose of the rest of the body.
-
An amputee grew 12 inches since his accident.

When he told me he grew a whole foot, I told him I didn't see it.
-
A distraught man told them to tell it to him straight. He was told "It's Cancer." The man grew up his entire life believing he was a Gemini.

He later succumbed to alcohol poisoning.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

A man came into a clinic complaining of a bum leg he got outside.

The sanitation department was called to properly dispose of the rest of the body.
-
An amputee grew 12 inches since his accident.

When he told me he grew a whole foot, I told him I didn't see it.
-
A distraught man told them to tell it to him straight. He was told "It's Cancer." The man grew up his entire life believing he was a Gemini.

He later succumbed to alcohol poisoning.

Why did he become an alcoholic

Did he realize his marriage was a sham because she was an aries?

 

[ElectricCitrus]

Ho Kim walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Ho Kim is shot for ordering a decadent western drink. North Korea is best Korea.

What did the Neutron have to say about the war in Iraq?
Nothing, he's neutral.

huehuehuehuehue