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Am I weird, or is this a common thing?

Corgi

Smash Cadet
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
30
Location
Olathe, KS
NNID
Corgi-of-Time
I have very few close friends, but I'm not an introvert. I like to say I am, but I'm not. I get that it's a growing thing these days, too, what with having grown up socializing behind screens, makes the whole first-time face-to-face thing a little jarring. I say I'm an introvert, though, to justify not wanting to speak to people for really shallow/minor reasons.

I people watch like a hawk. I find observing people in their moments absurdly interesting. I make judgements based on those observations, compare them to other people I've known, and establish a theoretical "persona" of what that person would be if I came to know them very well. Often times, that persona isn't even influenced by direct interaction, but I will make a statement to myself whether or not I'm willing or even active in going out of my way to communicate/ get to know that person. I will only ever put in that effort if I judge them to be someone worth my time, who is a morally well-adjusted person, who has some degree of social tact, and who won't say/do really cringy **** that will make me immediately regret everything.

I recognize that as shallow and judgemental, and to a degree, I'm not proud of it, but it's in my nature and I can't avoid it. I figure this is a relevant topic on the notion of showing up to a tournament scene for Smash. I've gone to a handful of meetings for my college Smash club, and for the most part keep to myself or just watch sets without providing commentary for the peanut gallery.

Is it wrong or weird to do this if, up until this point, all of those judgements have been somewhat accurate? What are your thoughts, how do you go about approaching a stranger, what qualities do you look for in someone you think you could be friends with? I'm really interested to know.
 

young grasshopper

Smash Ace
Joined
Jun 4, 2014
Messages
668
Location
a little town on the edge of nowhere
3DS FC
4227-3446-5848
I don't think that there's anything wrong with making observations about the way people act. To some degree, just about everyone looks for at least some qualities that they find desirable when looking for friends. I would even recommend most people to be careful to look for the right qualities in people. It's very important to surround yourself with people who make you a better person

That said, though, I think it's important to at least be open to the possibility that your assumptions are wrong. Sometimes people can surprise you. At their core, most people are looking for the same things: love, purpose, joy, fulfillment, companionship, meaning, and truth. Some people just don't know how to find those things and end up looking in the wrong places. Very often, you will find that reckless people feel lonely, or short-tempered people have been hurt in some way. And in the case of socially awkward people, sometimes you'll find that they have a great heart that's just really hard to reach.

Now, I'm not saying to let just anyone be a part of your inner circle of friends who influence your life, but there can be some middle ground between that level of friendship and totally avoiding social interaction. I would recommend at least talking to people and really getting to know them. There's nothing necessarily wrong with being reserved in social settings, but you might miss out on some great opportunities.
 

BagrB0y

Smash Cadet
Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
74
GJ on being so accurate?

Nothing wrong with not wanting to hang out with people you don't believe you would fit in / enjoy their presence. I don't hang out with sports fans because I can't relate or don't enjoy the same things they do. Similarly, in most cases they probably aren't into Smash or Esports or breaking down the most random, mundane things.

Personally despite being an introvert (although there are some misconceptions over what this entails- It generally means you like to be alone sometimes and have a limit to how long you can go in a social situation- Which makes online interactions really nice but thats an entirely different topic) I work at a grocery store, and probably the easiest thing you can do is just put a smile on your face, shoulders up, and just walk by and say "Hi there!". It a low stakes way of starting some small talk, and it sometimes leads to some good experiences.
 
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