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Isprayaxe
I've been in a similar position.
I live on Long Island, which has a pretty solid Melee scene (for those who don't know) of established players and a consistent turnout of new players at nearly every tournament. That said, being in my senior year of high school with parents who believe that all smashers are 40 year old pedophiles with no jobs living with their parents, or some younger variation of that stereotype, I rarely get to play people outside of tournaments save for a few close friends. I never sandbag with any of them. I don't sugarcoat a thing. If they are having an off day, I will relentlessly and mercilessly destroy them.
One friend is like, stupid good with Yoshi; I usually 2 or 3 stock him when I play spacies but he's extremely good; I'm always forced to play at 100% to beat him like that, and if I slip up, I die.
He's moving slowly to Project: M now that Yoshi has been released, and, while P:M is fun, it's still lacking that undefinable Melee charm that keeps me coming back. I play P:M with him, and it's much closer between us in that game, but his Melee progress has been stymied by his move over to P:M. Project: M is still good Melee practice, but it's not the same as a Melee training partner.
Another friend has moved on to other things, and I never play with him at all anymore.
My first friend's brother plays as well, and, while he isn't at my level, he plays a very solid spacing-oriented and defensive Doc, and I always find myself dropping stocks quickly if I'm not in the zone. He plays P:M somewhat, but still likes Melee better.
Yet another of my friends is a P:M exclusive player, and, while he's not bad, he's not that good either. He tries his heart out, but simply isn't willing to put in the practice.
There is a bright side to this, though. My close friend, a competitive SSFIV:AE player, has recently showed a renewed interest in Melee, and has begun to enjoy the game more after a long spell of dislike for the game. He has the drive; he has the competitive spirit, and he has the smarts. I really hope he develops into a training partner in the future.
Another not-as-close friend (but that could change), a competitive UMvC3 player, asked to borrow Melee and has a full smash setup at his house, and is already trash talking me and saying "We'll see if you can match my skill after I train with this game" and the like. I'm genuinely excited for a training partner in him.
I guess the point of all this rambling is to say that while, yes, you may go through a lot of different people before you find one or two good training partners, in the end, when you find those training partners, it's all worth it. You finally can enjoy the game and work on your competitive game with someone else who truly enjoys the game as much as you, and that is worth the work and worth the wait. So you scare off a couple noobs; so what? So you make people angry; who cares? You will find those who truly want to improve, those with drive, passion, competition, and that reward is more than worth all the bull**** you will have to sift through. Make the first move; let the noobs know you're willing to help them improve, show them your full skill and technical ability, and allow those who are right for you and right for the game come forth. Quality over quantity, 1 player with Armada's drive as a training partner is worth 1000 noob classmates, relatives, and acquaintances.
I hope this helps you in your dilemma.