Ben Holt

Yo Nintendo.
You know how you have NES and SNES Online for Switch Online subscribers?
You know what would make that $20 a year feel more worth the cost of entry? Bring the NES and SNES Online apps to mobile and sell a Nintendo-branded Bluetooth controller that fits itself to mobile phones.
Cha-ching!

For those still wondering, Rayman is a rabbit.

Yo Bandai-Namco. Please bring back full AAA $60 Pac-Man games. You remember Ms. Pac-Man Maze Madness for the PSX? Expand upon that with like 80 levels, and I'd scoop that up immediately.

To an oppressor, no longer being able to oppress feels like oppression.

My heart is in a state of limbo. It's too early to call it love, but I'm so interested in her.

If Capitalists actually cared about their workers, they'd pay them a living wage rather than spending millions on ads about how much they care about their workers.

It's gonna be Spring Man for the same reason our Street Fighter rep was Ryu.

Me normally: "We should abolish prisons. Even for the most heinous crimes, if we truly value rehabilitation, we should switch to a universal parole system."

Me when I'm pissed off: "You dare spread rumors about me?! Death penaltyyyyyyyyyyy!!!"

Another day, another fake feminist.
**** you, Malayna! You spread nasty rumors and don't even acknowledge that you're bigoted to Autistic people!

As a former fat guy that still loves all the greasy, delicious food that once made me a fatass, my weight loss tip is this:
You can still eat ****ty food, but limit it to one item a day, or less than 1,000 calories. ONE burger. ONE shake. ONE pizza slice. ONE quesadilla. ONE donut.
But save one day of the week to where you can eat whatever you want. Commonly called a "cheat meal". My most common cheat meal is a 12 inch pizza. But every other day is just one slice.
You ain't gotta count calories meticulously, but keep a rough idea on how many you've eaten, and limit yourself.
Also, for exercise, if you hate cardio, lift. Lifting is fun, as you can see results immediately whereas cardio takes time to notice how much better you got. Cardio's probably good for overall health, but if you just wanna burn calories, hit the barbells. Squats, deadlifts, and bench presses. Those are the fun ones.

I'm all the bad things that you see.
But trust me, there is more to me.
I'm a hornet, with butterfly wings.
A banshee, that beautifully sings.
An angel, with demonic horns.
A rosebush, that's tainted by thorns.

God damn, I'm bored. **** this quarantine. I need some ****ing physical contact! Ugh, ****!

Just asked out my dream girl. Awaiting reply.

Gordon Ramsay may think that American food is greasy, unsophisticated, and disgusting.
But I think that American food is greasy, unsophisticated, and delicious!

You know that uncertain feeling when you're talking to a new girl, but a part of your heart is scared that maybe she doesn't like you as much as you think she does?
I'm having that feeling right now.

According to recent rumors, in the near future we are getting new Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot, and Kirby games in 2021.
It's a good time to be a mascot platformer fan.

And if I close my mind in fear, please pry it open. See me.
And if my face becomes sincere, beware. Hold me.
And when I start to come undone, stitch me together. Save me.
And when you see me shut, remind me of what left this outlaw torn.

Someone I knew from High School has been given weeks to live.
Times like this make me wish that I could be Superman and make all the bad things go away.

I swear, every time I go through my old notes of songs I've been writing for a while, I find that I've always sped the song up over time.

Reminder: It's Spring Man.

And Educational List of Far-Right Ideologies to Watch Out For:

1. Authoritarianism: The general belief that social hierarchy is the most efficient, effective, preferable, natural, and/or pragmatic form of governance, however mild or extreme. Generally the social hierarchy is enforced through Capitalism. Most mainstream politicians are mildly Authoritarian.

2. Alt-Right: Any form of right-wing Ideaology, usually extreme, outside of mainstream right-wing ideology.

3. Fascism: The use of government to enforce social hierarchy, often through dictatorship.

4. Corporatism: A form of extreme Capitalist Fascism where a state is ruled by the Capital holders and business elites.

5. Theocracy: The use of government to enforce a particular religion. Churches are often part of the government.

6. Identitarianism: The belief that one's primary identity is their race.

7. Nationalism: The belief that one's nation, race, or geographic region, is superior to others.

8. Race Realism: The belief that certain races are genetically inferior to others.

9. Nazi Adjacency: The belief that a cabal of elitists conspire to harm or wipe out the white race, usually through immigration of non-whites into majority-white nations.

10. Nazism: Continued from Nazi Adjacency, that cabal is the Jews.

11. Ethnostatism: The belief that nations should be defined by race and/or enforce a quota for how many people of certain races can enter a country either through genocide or race-based immigration policy.

12. Imperialism: The belief that one's nation and/or culture is superior to others and should be spread internationally through military force.

Dracula and Rathalos prove that we can have third-party bosses.
In Smash 7, I demand a boss battle with the Death Egg Robot.

I got banned from Facebook for a week for posting a spicy meme.
Don't worry; I'm not an edgy alt-righter. I'm actually extremely Leftist. But my meme used the word, "********" and Facebook called it hate speech.

A datamine from the new Switch firmware v10.0.0 seems to hint at a Firestick-esque plug-n-play Switch dongle. Though I personally have no need for it, I cannot deny that it's a brilliant idea.

2021 is:
Mario's 40th Anniversary
Donkey Kong's 40th Anniversary
Zelda's 35th Anniversary
Metroid's 35th Anniversary
Sonic's 30th Anniversary
Crash Bandicoot's 25th Anniversary
Pokémon's 25th Anniversary

Switch's 10.0.0 Update where you can transfer data from your console to an SD card and vice versa is Nintendo preparing for a Switch SKU in the future with multiple SD card slots. Bet.

I miss two of my exes. If only they were polyamorous like me.
Why can people not understand that some hearts have enough love to go around?

Reminder that Piranha Plant got into Smash before Toad and Waluigi.
That's whack.

God help me; I am ADDICTED to beautiful women! My Instagram feed was simply too much for my lustful eyes today.

Controversial statement #2: Japan has an ethnostate problem.
I normally speak about American issues, as I am an American, but I cannot ignore the reactionary culture of the home of my favorite forms of entertainment.
Japan has problematic culture when it comes to nationalism, racism, immigration, sexism, and Capitalism to name a few. Though they succeed in public infrastructure and their welfare state, Japan is unfortunately used as justification for white nationalist ethnostatists in the West, because Japan is a well functioning, successful ethnostate. This MUST be recognized and addressed.

Controversial statement #1: Sonic Unleashed is a great game. It's just different like Mario Sunshine. The Werehog is Sonic's version of Mario's F.L.U.D.D. The only reason its reception was mixed is because the previous entry was Sonic '06, and fans were suffering from an identity crisis. The Sonic Cycle is an overblown myth. The only bad MAIN SERIES Sonic game was '06. Boom is a spin-off.
Controversial statement #2 coming soon.

Controversial statement coming soon.

I'm just gonna say it. Smash needs Tails and Knuckles. Sonic was announced 13 years ago. Bring in the other anthropomorphic animals.

My ideal modern Sonic game?
Generations, but longer and a bit more open levels like Adventure. Obviously new levels rather than remixed old ones.

I find it odd how many people think that our ARMS character is NOT going to be Spring Man. Had he not been an Assist Trophy, people would be considering him a lock.
But my argument is this: Name ONE time where the first playable Smash character from a series was not either the main protagonist or the de-facto mascot of the series. Spring Man is both.

Politics is like driving in the UK:
The left lane gets you to your destination, the right lane gets you into head-on collisions, and the center gets you into head-on collisions.

Free Echo Fighters should be one of the Switch Online Subscription rewards.

I have a funny idea for a status, but I'm afraid that people will take it seriously.

**** this quarantine. I want some ****ing ravioli.

Random prediction:
Crash will be announced at E3 2021 and release September 2021 as FP10 to celebrate his 25th anniversary (Goddamn, I'm getting old.)!