[Disclaimer: A lot of the following should not be taken literally as I've purposefully exaggerated for the sake of humour.]
Survival log. Day 2191:
My infiltration plan has been going better than ever. I've recently been made a moderator. They still don't suspect a thing. I must stay focused; some of the old Link mains have come back to smashboards since the release of smash 4, and I fear that more will follow them. There's no telling what...
Log, I've just spotted an outsider. I will attempt to warn them, though if things get tricky, well it's better them than me.
Psst! You! Yeah you! Get over here!
What do you think you're doing? Are you insane!? Here quickly, put this Keaton mask on. There. Now listen, you
don't understand. This is the Link boards you just strolled into. There are certain things you just don't do here. I've been assimilating myself into the Link boards for years now, and I can tell you from experience that fitting in isn't as easy as it is on other character boards.
Listen up, I've got some tips for you. Oh and you didn't hear any of this from me, ok? Good.
Survival tip 1.
It's best to not talk about Toon Link unless it is for an official purpose such as a MU analysis, because this is the Link boards after all. You should also be made aware that you may come across old posts that replace 'Toon Link' with 'Gay'. Don't look at me like that. I had nothing to do with it. It goes back to the early Brawl days when there was still a strong rivalry between the two boards. All you need to know is that back then the Link mains made a distinction between the Link in Wind Waker (which counts as 'Link' and is cool), and the character in smash called 'Toon Link', which apparently isn't 'Link', so they gave him a different name. It's rarely used these days but if you happen to read some old posts, you'll at least know what is being talked about.
Survival tip 2.
Read, then lurk, and only then should you post. The above 'Link Board Rules' is a must read, but what I'm getting at here most of all is that there is a certain level of presumed knowledge that is expected of everyone who posts here. You will draw unwanted attention to yourself if it appears that you don't have the bare minimum knowledge required. It is advised that you read the other threads that are permanently at the top. Once you've attained this knowledge, lurk for a while. Knowing the Link main's habits and personalities will help you survive out here. Study the interactions between the Link mains and when you go to post, try to emulate the more accepted posts and you should fit in just fine.
Survival tip 3.
Do work. Seriously though; if you are seen to be a great asset to the Link community, they
will suffer your presence. Make posts that have been well researched and contribute to serious discussions in an informed way and the Link mains will turn a blind eye to even the most flagrant disregard for their customs.
Survival tip 4.
Think twice about making a new thread. If in doubt, and you
should be in doubt, feel free to message either Lawz or myself and ask our opinion first. Nothing is more prone to attacks than a new thread, but this is
always avoidable.
Survival tip 5.
If you
really must make a new thread then at the very least try to make it comply with the following recommendations. Always check if there is a larger and more general thread that you could post in instead of making a new thread. When you go to make your thread, make sure you have an appropriate title. Yes, it seems nit-picky, but I've seen people thrown into a pit of hungry Cuccos for less. What I recommend for titles is to write them with the intention that your thread will become a permanent addition to the Link boards. If you can't do this then maybe that's a sign that you shouldn't make the thread. Make the title professional and concise, and don't include any information in it which should appear in the post itself. Where relevant, the title should include things like [MU] to indicate that it is the place where discussion is had about the 'matchup' between the two given characters. The thread itself must actually be relevant for Link mains. First impressions are all important. Try to avoid giving off a bad first impression; try to appear positive, informed and humble. Last of all, and this may sound harsh, but it's very important when it comes to making a new thread: if you cannot contribute anything to the discussion yourself, then that's a good sign that you probably shouldn't make the thread yourself just yet.
Survival tip 6.
Don't give any indication that you are the kind of person who plays a character just because they are considered good or that you would switch characters just because your current character is bad. Any older Link mains will turn on you like you were a room full of pots and they were 20 rupees short of buying some magic beans. You must understand, Link was previously considered one of the worst characters, in every smash game, but there were some with the courage to stick it out regardless of this. Their motives for doing so were pure, but the effort required left them as a scarred and calloused husk of their former selves. They consider all such fair-weather mainers to be a grave insult to what they went through, so if you are one of these people it is highly recommended that you keep such information to yourself.
Survival tip 7.
You need to walk the fine line between genuine respect and playful disrespect. The Link mains are a very tight community. It's (comparatively) hard to get accepted, but once you are accepted they will join forces as sworn brothers to protect you as they do each other, and they will strike down upon outsiders 'with great vengeance and furious anger' if an outsider tries to hassle or flame one of their brothers. Don't make the mistake of being seen as that disrespectful outsider. A little respect goes a long way. Of course, you also don't want to be too respectful either. Playful banter is encouraged and will help you to earn their trust and form necessary bonds.
Survival tip 8.
It's best not to presume that you are any good at smash, and I certainly wouldn't make the mistake of claiming to be good at it. Even if it is true, which in all likelihood it actually isn't I'm sorry to tell you, coming out and saying things like "I'm really good at this game" is never well received as it comes off as either ignorant or full of yourself. The point is, credit is given where it is seen to be due, not where it is claimed to be due. If you want people to respect your smash skills, enter tournaments and place well. Otherwise there's always the option of never letting on whether you're any good or not and eventually having everyone simply assume that you must be at least decent, which isn't so bad.
Survival tip 9.
Look if you can follow the above tips, I have one last tip for you. Have fun. There's a reason why this place gets so many lurkers. The Link boards are a very entertaining place to be. It's part of the reason why I've stuck it out this long. I could have left at any time, but now you couldn't make me leave. Which is why I'm not about to sacrifice all my efforts for
you. Now get out of here before someone sees me talking to you.
...
Yeah, I think they'll be just fine.
...
Dammit! That fool walked off with my spare mask!
